


Finally... over?

by Obsessed_Fander



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Frisk (Undertale), And gore, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Both of them have so much trauma its unreal, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Chara Possessing Frisk (Undertale), Chara's gender is kind of funky, Check summary for better trigger warnings, Demon Chara (Undertale), Flowey is soulless, Fluff and Angst, Frisk Has Nightmares (Undertale), Frisk did every. single. possible. combination. of. choices., I can't even begin to tag everything, If you purposefully gender Frisk I will steal your kneecaps :), Pacifist Frisk (Undertale), Post-Undertale Genocide Route, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Post-Undertale Soulless Pacifist Route, Read at Your Own Risk, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Sans has Nightmares (Undertale), Theres a blog for this on Tumblr @finally-over, They went through every run so, This is currently (as of typing this) 78000 words and I'm not even close to done so..., a lot of blood, also, also a lot of death because... ya know, anways, but I will add tags as it goes on (hopefully), but none of it permanent, but this takes place (mostly) after the final pacifist run, frisk uses they/them, oh yeah, since she's no longer human, so Chara uses she/they pronouns, yeah...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessed_Fander/pseuds/Obsessed_Fander
Summary: The golden sunlight filtered in through the window, and a long shadow was cast. A skeletal figure stood, eyes dark, as the child approached, dust and blood coating them. A glitch, a flicker, and a knife was in their hand. They smiled, their eyes glowing red.A new plaything, just what they wanted. They could only imagine how fun this would be.Aka: Frisk made a terrible mistake, and thought their only option was to sell their soul to Chara. Now they have to live with the consequences of sharing their soul with a demon, while trying to end the Resets once and for all. But no one can live through all of that, and more, without quite a bit of trauma.Trigger warnings: Alcoholism, abuse, death, blood, gore, some swearing, suicide and related topics, self-harm and related topics, murder, grief, general discrimination (mostly directed at the queer community), in-depth mental breakdownsLet me know if you think I need to add any, as much as I love people reading my stories my main priority is keeping you guys safe.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Frisk & Toriel (Undertale), Frisk (Undertale) & Everyone, Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Sans & Frisk, past Toriel/Asgore
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. Judgement

**Author's Note:**

> Quick disclaimer: If you find the Undertale fandom, or any of the things I'm writing about, cringey, *then stop reading it*. I don't need to know how weird you think my content is, this is almost entirely self-indulgent, but I thought it would be nice to share since this is mostly an amalgamation of things/tropes I saw and liked.  
> Also, there will be no romantic ships with Frisk in this because they are a Child and practically everyone around them is an adult.  
> With that out of the way, read at your own discretion, and I hope you enjoy!

“so.” He stared at them, an almost cold expression on his face. They grinned mercilessly up at him, blue and purple flickering through the yellow and gold. Red eyes stared viciously, a knife in hand and dust coating their clothes. It was unsettling coming from a small child, to say the least. “when i said ‘if you’re really my friend you won’t come back’, i meant it. i don’t know if you have any sense left in that thick skull of yours, but you’re not the only one with a spine.” He grinned at his own jokes, but despite the humor, he did not laugh.

Everyone was dead because he hadn’t done something.  _ Papyrus  _ was dead because he had been too lazy to step in. Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, all of them gone. He’d already fought them so many times, but each time they learned, and each time he grew more tired. He sighed, his eye flashing once more.

This is why he hated making promises.

He watched them die several more times, and each time he wished he could be satisfied. But each time they came back, more aggravated than before. He was getting too tired, he couldn’t continue to do this. Soon enough he was going to get killed. 

...

That soon enough became  _ now.  _ And then they left, they went on to fight the king. Only, that wasn’t enough for them, for moments later he was standing in the hall again, waiting to judge them still. He caught the devilish gleam in their eyes and glared.

“you really are sick, aren’t you?” That was all that was said, and the fight began.

He had to die countless times before anything changed.

It was time. It was happening again. He was falling asleep and they were going to kill him. Just like the last however many times. Just like what would continue to happen for presumably eternity. They tilted their head to the side and continued to stare vacantly with that horrifying smile, knife in hand and still coated in blood, somehow. 

He felt his eyes begin to droop and the grin grew wider, before faltering. They looked annoyed, as though hearing something they didn’t like. He tried to pry his eyes back open, he really did, but he was just... so.... tired.....

Their soul moved and he jerked awake. They groaned - they knew that would happen, why did they do it? ...more importantly, why did they seem like they didn’t  _ want  _ to do it? His eyes began to droop again and this time their shirt flickered again.

Had their shirt always been this color? Had it always been green and gold? He could’ve sworn it used to be different, but he was too tired to remember. He saw a flash of blue and confusion settled in. 

His vision was going hazy but something about them was off. Their hand twitched and a glare came to their face, the other hand coming up and gripping their wrist. Still, it twitched and moved, and he wanted to keep watching but his eyes fell shut.

Until he heard the clattering of the knife being thrown away.

They screamed, they screeched and thrashed and tore at their hair, and their shirt flickered again. Their eyes ceased their red glow for a moment, the unnatural rosiness of their cheeks fading, and for a moment, a normal, innocent child sat in front of him. 

Just as quick as he’d seen it though, it was gone. They moved like they were struggling against some invisible attacker, but soon a button appeared, one he’d never seen before.

The buttons never appeared. The options weren’t  _ that  _ physical. But he saw them both, and a chill (heh) ran down his spine. They backed up further, screaming and shouting and fighting with someone he couldn’t see. It wasn’t even their turn, how were they accessing that?

But there it sat, the RESET button glowing up at him as though it were meant to be there. And with one of the kid’s flails their arm went out to reach it.  _ Their left arm.  _ **Why was that important?** The button was pressed and he felt the telltale stinging in his skull as the world around him went white.

He woke up in his bed, barely remembering anything.

He cursed the kid. Resets were different than loads. With every load he could remember everything clearly, but with a reset? His memories were a little hazy, at least, for a day or two.

A human had fallen into the underground, sickeningly yellow flowers cushioning their fall.

Sans went to the forest to wait.


	2. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to be as accurate as possible with canon, however I did bend a few things to fit more into the story I'm trying to tell. If you notice something isn't strictly adhering to canon, please don't mention it, okay? I'm just doing this for fun  
> Anyways, I'm going to be posting the first 10,000 words today, but I don't know when I'll update again after that. There's plenty already written, but I'm also still in the middle of uploading chapters for another fic, so I don't know how often I'll have time to post to ao3.  
> Enjoy!

Frisk cried the moment they landed. How long had it been? How long had they been trapped down there? How long would it take until they could get it right? How long until they could go through everything without letting Chara take control? How long?

They wiped the tears away before Toriel could see. No use concerning her more than they already would. They dusted (they shuddered at the word) themself off, getting shakily to their feet. In the back of their mind they heard screaming,  _ We were so close! Why would you ruin that?! We’d almost finished the run!  _ But they paid it no mind.

They’d already finished every run at least once, all the way until at least one of them was on the surface and they received the phonecall from Sans. That was when Chara would push them on, convince them that there was more to discover and explore. 

How cruel it was to jerk everyone around, to use them like pawns just to see what would happen. They knew they would never forgive themself if they were on the other side.

When Toriel finally arrived they threw themself at her with an embrace, surprising the lady in the ruins. She laughed quietly, taking them in fully, a warm smile on her face.

“And what is your name, my child?” They beamed up at her. They wouldn’t let her down. Not this time.

They would make it right.

*Frisk* They signed happily, and Toriel’s eyes lit up.

“Oh! You’ll have to forgive me, my child.” She said, signing as she spoke. “Can you hear me? I do not wish to be insensitive.” Frisk grinned, nodding.

*I’m selectively mute, I can hear perfectly fine* They told her, and Toriel smiled.

“Thank you for telling me. Now, let me show you around the ruins.” She took their hand, leading them away, and for a moment they could believe everything would be alright.

The fight was over, they were free to go, and Toriel was about to leave. They glanced at the door behind them before racing after her, embracing her once more. Toriel smiled sadly down at them, gently prying their arms away.

“Please do not linger my child.” She said sweetly, and Frisk stared up at them with wide eyes. 

*Come with me* They signed, and Toriel stared in surprise. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Frisk sighed, they knew she wouldn’t, but they had to try.

*Please. I won’t get hurt, you could come with me and we would make it out together!* They signed excitedly. In the back of their mind Chara snarled at them, about how much worse the betrayal would be if she did come, about how they’d revel in the horror in her eyes as they killed everyone. *I’ll break the barrier, we can be free* Toriel wiped away a falling tear, an almost disgusted look in her eyes.

“Do not speak of such things.” She said vehemently. “I’m not leaving these ruins.” She looked away, her tone softening. “Someone has to look after the flowers.” Frisk sighed, nodding, before they lifted their head once more.

*May I ask one final question?* Toriel smiled slightly, but didn’t comment, looking down curiously at them.

“And what might that be?” She asked.

*Do you have any hand buzzers? I would love to play a joke on an old friend* They signed earnestly, and she quirked an eyebrow. 

“I believe I do. A strange request, I might say.” She smiled gently “But that is why I love you, my child.” She disappeared for a moment, returning with the small object in her hand. “Do not hurt yourself with it, okay? Take care.” And with that she disappeared, down the hall and out of sight. 

Frisk sighed, smiling to themself. They opened the door, beginning to walk through the snow, ignoring the loud crunching beneath their feet. A branch snapped nearby and they smiled to themself, waiting at the bridge to meet the skeleton for the ‘first’ time.

Before he could reach out his hand though, they reached out theirs. Sans always had the whoopee cushion on his right hand, but they were left-handed, so by reaching out first they - they laughed internally at the accidental pun - forced his hand. Chara scowled at them from inside their mind, but they elected to ignore it. Sans was surprised, but reached out anyways. 

“it’s nice to meet y-aAGH!” He jumped back, a horrified expression on his face. “what was  _ that _ ?!” He asked, and they grinned, holding out their palm. 

“You kind of scared me, sneaking up on me like that, so I decided to give you a little” They snorted “ _ Shock.”  _ Sans stared, blinking in confusion. 

For one, they were  _ talking.  _ Weren’t they selectively mute? Well, actually, they had done a whole lot of talking the last few times they murdered everyone, but something was different this time.  _ There was no dust on them.  _ They seemed genuinely happy too. And their shirt- hadn’t there been something about the color last time? Still, he forced a laugh at the pun, setting aside his worries for now. Maybe this time was different.

Maybe this time they wanted to see the betrayal in his eyes. 

Still, they went through their whole routine. He felt like he was forgetting something crucial from the last run- had he known the name of the lady in the ruins? Oh, well, it didn’t matter now. With time acting as sporadic as his motivation, nothing really mattered anymore. 

He said his piece, even about the promise, and instead of fear, or boredom, or even a cruel grin, they smiled earnestly at him.

*Thank you* They signed, then cleared their throat. “Thank you for making that promise. I know making promises, especially big ones like that, can be really hard. So thank you.” He stared. Something was up. They knew something they shouldn’t. 

_ There was one thing they hadn't done yet.  _ Chara whispered in Frisk’s ear. They winced, they didn’t want this again, but something told them they were telling the truth. They listened, listened to Chara whisper her secrets, and they paused. They’d already experimented with time travel enough, might as well give it one last shot.

Sans watched in confusion as they apparently listened in on nothing, reacting as though someone was speaking. He shrugged it off, who knew, maybe after all this time fucking around with the timeline they’d finally lost it. He wouldn’t be all too surprised.

Everything continued as normal, and Frisk discovered something. As long as they were following  _ a  _ goal Chara had set, she wouldn’t try to take over. Which meant no one was hurt as they went searching for whatever ‘Sans’ secret code’ was. 

It didn’t take them too long to find, though they did get distracted a few times, nearly crying at the sight of their friends alive and well, and when Papyrus acted  _ happy  _ to see them they had to take a moment to quietly sob. Chara called them weak but they didn’t care. They wouldn’t let it be ruined this time. 

It took a few reloads but finally they had reached the goal, Chara was satisfied with the response they got, Sans knew they were a time traveler - which they didn’t consider a win, but they didn’t care enough to complain - and with one more reload they could finally get on with the life everyone deserved.

As the barrier opened and the stars were visible again, they tried to forget how much they’d never wanted to see them again when they first fell down. 


	3. Late Night Talks

Months passed. With monsterkind’s new ambassador being a small child they knew they were bound to hit some hiccups, but for the most part all was going well. Chara receded further into their mind, the reset button still glaring at them at every opportunity, but on a dark night they decided to do something they swore they’d never do.

They climbed to the top of Mount Ebott, the actual top, reaching the peak they’d never made it to - nor sought out - however long ago. It depended on whose perspective you came from to determine the amount of time that passed. For Frisk, it had been years. For everyone else, it had been four months - they had spent a week with Toriel, and three more in the underground as they got more and more distracted from finishing - and then three months on the surface.

On the peak they looked to the sky, searching for answers in the stars, barely visible behind the darkened clouds, not yet dripping rain, but thunder clear in the distance. They looked up to the sky and they made a promise.

*I...* They trailed off, closing their eyes. “I will never use the Reset button again. I swear it on my heart, soul, and entire being.”  _ What?!  _ Chara screamed inside their mind.  _ That’s all we have! How can you say that?!  _ Frisk sighed, for once daring to speak aloud to the voice inside their head.

Or, rather, sign to them. *I’m not promising to not reload. I couldn’t promise that truthfully. I’ll save frequently, I swear, but I refuse to reset. We’re not starting over. It’s not fair to them.* Frisk looked away, not even signing the words, but Chara could still hear them.  _ Not fair to me.  _ Chara sighed.

“Fine.” Frisk jumped back, so startled they almost fell down the mountain. Chara snarled, grabbing their arm to keep them from falling. “Yes, I have a physical form. Only when the magic around us is strong - I’ve never felt a stronger magical presence than right here. I can’t do much, it’s still  _ your  _ soul that ties us both to this plane of existence.” She paused, glaring, before turning her gaze to the stars. 

“But don’t expect me to sit idly and watch you just let things happen just because you won’t reset.” She said, and for the first time interacting with her, Frisk smiled. Chara sat for a moment, stunned, before disappearing back into their mind, pouting and sighing the best they could, but they couldn’t hide from Frisk the small flicker of hope that had sparked in them.

Chara wasn’t  _ good.  _ She would never be good. But sometimes neutrality was the best option. Chara snorted, they’d had their fair share of neutral runs as well, they knew exactly how good or bad that could go. 

Frisk began their descent, carefully clinging to the mountain as they tried not to fall. For the first time, Chara seemed to actually care whether they lived or died - they hadn’t saved in weeks, after all, and falling down the mountain would be a cruelly ironic way to die. They didn’t know much about Frisk from before the fall, and Frisk didn’t know much about them, either, other than what they’d said in their time spent together.

Frisk laughed aloud at that, and Chara had to physically appear to keep them from falling.  _ Sorry,  _ they thought, unable to sign.  _ It’s just, it wasn’t much of a  _ choice  _ to ‘spend time together’.  _ Chara rolled their eyes.

_ You’re going to get us killed, dumbass. We’ve already died enough times, we don’t need to know what this one feels like.  _ Frisk sighed, trying to be more careful as they descended the mountain. They passed the cave they’d originally fallen down, then the one where the barrier had broken. From there they were able to walk, as they had that night, months ago.

When they arrived home they knew they were in trouble, because the lights were on. Toriel always left a few lights on, but never this many. And they could see the shadowy figure of a certain skeleton, guilt already weighing on them before they could even properly see him. Papyrus was, presumably, still asleep, and they didn’t think either of the two would wake him.

Still, they had to try.  _ Save.  _ Chara hissed from the back of their mind, but Frisk sighed. There were no save points around, and looking for one could get them caught or hurt.  _ There’s one in your room, sneak in the window.  _ Frisk paused, wrinkling their nose.  **But won’t that get me in more trouble?** _ It’s better than not saving!  _ Frisk had to concede, they had a point, and so they snuck around to the side of the house.

They may not  _ look  _ very strong, and they still had 0 EXP in this run, but even without the enhanced strength they still had the skill and practice to hoist themself onto the windowsill, where they always kept their window unlocked, just in case. They crept in, thankful they had convinced Toriel to only put a screen on the lower half of the window, and they saved.

They felt the telltale rush of determination through their veins, and they sighed in relief. Still, they couldn’t sleep, not when there were at least 2 angry guardians waiting to chew them out. Chara grew quieter in the back of their mind, no longer restless now that they had saved. Might as well pretend they were simply getting a glass of water.

They paused, blinking in the light with practiced confusion. They held a hand to their face to shield from the overly bright lights, and they did their best to clear their eyes to see their expressions clearly. They signed, not up to talking just yet.

*Mom? Sans? What’s going on?* They asked, and the two of them shared a glance. They were letting Frisk play innocent, for now.

“What are you doing up my child? I thought you were resting.” Toriel said, and Frisk winced internally. Another lie, added to the list. Still, they held their composure.

“I-” They choked out, before sighing, falling back on sign. Sometimes it was frustrating when they just  _ couldn’t speak,  _ it wasn’t a choice the majority of the time. Toriel nodded patiently. *I was getting a glass of water. Is something wrong?* They feigned worry, and Sans sighed, clearly not buying it. 

“ya know kid, i can tell when you’re lying.” Chara laughed. **_Oh really now? You can?_** They both thought in unison, before pausing. It was rare that the two of them were able to have one, cohesive thought. Frisk didn’t like it. They pretended to be hurt.

*Sans? What happened?* They asked, and this set something off in him.  _ Should’ve considered that he’d still be mad after the last run.  _ Frisk cursed internally, but Sans only continued to glare, his eye flashing for a moment but returning to normal before Toriel could see. 

“what _happened_ is that Toriel heard a noise and when to check if you were alright, only to find your bed empty.” Shit, it **had** been audible when they’d tripped. Chara sighed. _You should’ve waited until she checked on you,_ then _left._ **Why didn’t you tell me that** **then** **???** _Make sure not to make any faces._ Was all she said before slipping back under. Frisk cursed her but made sure their expression was the appropriate one, worry mixed with concern. 

*Sorry. I fell and rolled under the bed, and when you came in I was too embarrassed to roll out.* They signed, and Toriel gave them a disappointed look. Frisk felt like they were in the judgement hall for the first time again.

“My child,” She began softly “I checked under the bed.” Their eyes went wide “You weren’t there. I tore the whole house apart looking for you, and nothing. You scared me half to death, you didn’t even leave a note.” Frisk felt the dread settle in, but then confusion grew on them.

“Wait, then where’s Papyrus?” They blurted aloud, and Sans glared at them.

“don’t you try to change the subject.” He said, and Frisk shook their head.

“No, I mean-” Their voice grew quiet. “He’s not exactly a heavy sleeper, and that must’ve made a lot of noise. Where is he?” There was genuine worry in their voice, and Chara cursed them for caring. Toriel sighed.

“He insisted on going out on a search mission for you, we let him so he could at least feel like he was helping. He was pretty freaked out too.”  _ You could always reload the save.  _ Chara reminded, but Frisk pushed them out.

“Wait, he’s out on the streets? This late at night?!” They asked, and suddenly their voice left them. *I need to go find him!* They did their best to show their urgency through their signing, before racing out of the room.

Sans shortcutted right in front of them, his arms crossed as he blocked their path. “nuh uh buddy,” The word sent chills down their spine “you’re not just running out on us again.” Frisk wished they could plead.

*Please! He’s out there all alone, he could get hurt!* And yes, they saw the hypocrisy in their words, it was exactly why they both were mad at them, but right now they didn’t care, Papyrus could be  _ hurt  _ because of them and they needed to fix it. Chara sighed, mentally stepping forwards.

_ Let me speak for you.  _ **No!** Was the immediate reply, and Chara hissed.  _ I won’t do anything, I’ll say everything you need to say, but they’re not going to listen to you signing.  _ Frisk hesitated, but every moment they waited Papyrus could be getting hurt, or worse, so finally they stepped back, panic flowing through them.

“You don’t understand!” They said, their voice booming for a moment as Chara adjusted to having proper vocal chords again. Silence fell on them, and Toriel stared with wide eyes. It had almost sounded like- but no, she tossed the thought away. She couldn’t have silly thoughts like those, especially not now. “Please,” They begged, hating the raw emotion in their voice. “I’ll explain after, but I can’t let him get hurt.”

Sans only glared more at that. He’d recognized the shift, it had happened too many times before not to recognize it. Only, this time, they weren’t growing murderous, they seemed almost the same, only louder, more vehement, more  _ determined.  _ Sans shivered at the thought. 

“I can’t let him get hurt because of  _ me.”  _ Chara was practically gagging at the sentiment, but they couldn’t just sit back and watch. Plus, at least they got to  _ do  _ something now. Sans glare darkened, and Frisk was panicking more. Chara had promised that they’d explain afterwards, but they supposed it was worth it if they found Papyrus.  _ Reload the save, climb back out the window, and find him.  _ Chara hissed, but Frisk still pleaded.  **It wouldn’t fix anything, only add more questions, and it would make this worse.** Chara rolled their eyes mentally but said nothing.

“Fine.” Toriel said, “But you stay with-” In a flash they were gone, bursting out the front door so fast that it was doubtful they’d heard anything other than the first word. She sighed, chasing after the child, Sans close behind.

Chara slipped back mid-step and Frisk had to rush to take over again before they split their head open on the pavement. Chara laughed, an almost delirious sound, and it was clear she’d tired herself out. Faking emotions, especially such extreme ones, while being in control after taking physical form several times that night, it just wasn’t a good idea. Frisk thanked her for it, sprinting with the same determination, until they heard the telltale ‘Nyeh heh heh’ of their confident skelebro. Even then they didn’t stop running. 

He was standing in an alleyway looking proud of himself, standing over - was that the stuffed animal they’d given him? In the-  _ oh gods,  _ in the first ever timeline. Before the first reset, after only a few reloads, due to deaths. They’d never given it to him again. How did he-?

“By stealing one of their stuffed animals, they’re sure to come to me!” Oh, he didn’t still have it. There was a pang in their heart and they stumbled into the alleyway, sobbing as they embraced him. He looked surprised, but he carefully returned the hug.

“I thought you were hurt, or  _ worse,  _ I can’t believe-” He rubbed their back awkwardly.

“Fear not, child Frisk!” They giggled quietly at the nickname. “I, the Great Papyrus, have come out of this adventure unscathed!” He picked up the stuffed animal, quieting his voice slightly. “Here, you probably want this back.” He said and they sniffled, going to sign, before taking a deep breath. It was getting harder to speak again now that the adrenaline was wearing off, but they fought against it.

“No.” Papyrus looked up, confused. “Keep it, please. I meant to give it to you months ago.” They said earnestly, and Papyrus stared, touched by the gesture. For the first time, Frisk heard him speak quietly.

“Thank you, Frisk.” They shared tired smiles. “Now! Let’s get you home safely to Toriel and my brother, they’re probably worried sick about you!” He lifted them up, and it struck Frisk just how tiny they were. Granted, they were only 11, and Papyrus was pretty tall anyways, but they were only a third of his height, and light enough for him to easily lift them. 

_ Yeah, we’re tiny, get over it.  _ Frisk laughed, pressing themself closer to Papyrus’ chest as he exited the alley, only to almost immediately run into Toriel, who had sprinted after Frisk in a panic. Sans shortcutted to right behind her seconds later.

“Are either of you hurt?” She asked hurriedly, and they both shook their heads. Sans blinked in surprise.

“paps, bro, i love ya, but this isn’t really a humerus situation.” He said, and Papyrus groaned. “i mean really, this whole ordeal has been bone-chilling.” He said, his signature grin coming to his face. Frisk relaxed, sitting back in Papyrus’ arms.

Maybe things would be okay.

“still though, kid, you have a lot of explaining to do.” Or maybe not. Panic welled up inside them, but there wasn’t much they could do. And Chara was too tired to even give homicidal solutions for escape, so they were really fucked.

Or should they say boned?

They smiled to themself, but it was short-lived, as within moments they were back at the house. Papyrus insisted on heading back to bed, needing his rest and all, and Frisk pretended not to notice how tightly he clung to the stuffed animal. 

“Now,” Toriel said, and their eyes flickered back over to their impending doom. “Why?” Was all she asked, but it was enough to make them start crying.

Maybe they really should reload that save...

_ No.  _ They couldn’t keep running from consequences forever. They were not falling down that rabbithole, especially not after all the trouble they’d gone through tonight to make that promise. They swallowed thickly, trying to bite back the tears. Chara had completely ducked out at this point, meaning they were completely on their own. Without their voice, without their begrudging partner, without a reason prepared.

*I wanted to go stargazing* They finally signed, receiving two confused looks in return. *I knew you wouldn’t let me if I asked, so I went on my own* Toriel frowned, and Sans looked frustrated, as if he was saying ‘there’s no way it can be that simple’.

“Of course I’d let you stargaze my child, why would you think I wouldn’t?” She asked, and Frisk wiped away more tears. They were already telling a small part of the truth, why not let out a little more.

*It...* The took a deep breath, trying to calm their shaking hands *It was on top of Mount Ebott* They signed reluctantly. Toriel gasped, her eyes flying wide, and Sans gave a skeptical look. He could tell they weren’t lying, but at the same time, something wasn’t sitting right with him.

“Why?! Out of all the places to stargaze, you choose the most dangerous, all alone, without telling anyone?! You could’ve gotten hurt!” She raised her hand in a gesture and Frisk flinched back, remembering the pain of her magic used against them. They still had the scars.

They had all the scars from every run, even after resetting. They never went away. They were surprised no one had noticed, especially the clearly visible burn marks on their hands and arms, but no one questioned them. They couldn’t count the number of scars on their chest alone, from being impaled by bones. 

Papyrus had never had the heart to pull off that move.

(Papyrus had killed them once, by accident. They still remembered his shriek before they reloaded.)

Toriel froze, her hand still mid-air, a horrified look coming to her eyes. Why was- oh god - her child was scared of her. They thought she was going to hurt them. Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly lowered her hand. Sans narrowed his eyes, still suspicious, but growing more worried for the kid by the minute.

Honestly, he was still expecting them to reset any time the conversation got too tough. 

“Don’t hurt me.” Frisk whimpered out, their eyes closed as they cowered in their seat. Toriel’s heart broke.

“kid?” Sans asked carefully, but Frisk only flinched again.

_ On days like these, kids like you _

_ s h o u l d b e b u r n i n g i n h e l l _

They still remembered that cold voice, the merciless look in his eyes. They’d wanted to scream that it wasn’t them, that they’d lost control, that they were  _ sorry _ , but none of it had worked. Chara had been a lot stronger then, and had been a lot more malicious, too, not just wanting to see every ending, but relishing in the pain of everyone around them.

Frisk could still feel the blood dripping off their fingers, mixing with dust until it became an ashen goo that made them gag. Sans had bled too, but he didn’t bleed blood, instead spilling pure determination. Frisk had vomited the first time they’d managed to kill him.

They couldn’t get the sight out of their mind now. Knife in hand, Sans sitting shocked, on the floor, clutching his chest. Frisk gasped for air, desperately cramming their hands into their ears as they clenched their eyes shut even further.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m s....” They trailed off, still mouthing the words but unable to speak. It was the first time it hit both of them how much Frisk  _ wanted  _ to speak, even in the moments they couldn’t. 

“kid.” Sans said with more force this time, but still they didn’t hear him. “bud, you need to listen to me.” Frisk made a noise, and at first he couldn’t decipher it.

Then he realized they were humming.

An all too familiar tune.

He froze. How much did this kid remember of the different timelines? Because he remembered most of them pretty clearly. But if this kid was the one  _ causing  _ them, then they must remember a whole lot more than he did. And music only played to the person being fought, not the one starting battle. Frisk had never started a battle, had never went up to a monster and dragged them into a FIGHT. Frisk always heard the music.

Only on rare occasions did people hear his music.

They knew more than they were letting on. 

Toriel glanced worriedly at Sans, why was he so affected by them humming a tune? Did it hold importance to the two of them? What was going on? Sans shot her an apologetic look, before plainly telling her she had to go. She went to protest, but when she saw the state her child was in, she knew she would do anything to help them. Even if it meant stepping away. With a sullen heart she left the room, vowing not to eavesdrop no matter how tempting it might be. Her child deserved privacy.

“kid.” Sans said again, this time more forcefully than anyone had ever heard him. Anyone except Frisk, actually. He cursed himself. “Frisk.” He demanded, and their eyes flickered open for a moment. “you’re here right now. you’re not in a fight. no one is going to hurt you.  _ i’m  _ not going to hurt you. you need to breathe.” He said, and Frisk took a deep breath. 

*Sorry* they signed shakily, opening their eyes. Sans shook his head.

“i think we all need our rest. we can all talk about this in the morning, when we’ve slept and had time to think. okay?” Frisk nodded, standing up on shaking legs. Sans stepped forwards just in time to catch them before they fell. “whoah there, no need to start tripping over yourself. it’s not like you weigh a skele-ton.” He said, earning a gentle laugh. That was better, even the small, tear-stained smile was better than what was happening moments before. 

He didn’t care, using a shortcut to take them to bed instead of walking the few feet. He was a lazybones, sue him. He gently tucked them in bed, and Frisk smiled sweetly up at him, tiredness clear in their eyes.

“Thank you.” They said quietly, and Sans just smiled. He was about to leave, too, when something in their eyes flashed. They changed from the normal dark blue to a sudden red, and he could’ve sworn their shirt flickered. “I mean it.” They said, their voice different now, but not entirely new. He paused, unsure, and within seconds Frisk was back to normal, looking disappointed but still wholly themself. Sans just smiled once more, disappearing out the door. 

Whatever the hell had happened, they could deal with tomorrow.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah, I'm really tired, I'll finish uploading the rest of the first 10,00 later. Thank you guys for reading


	4. A Day At The Park

Frisk woke up tiredly, and the first thing they did was save. Chara gave them a half-hearted cheer, happy that they had some common sense for once. Still they were dreading the confrontation awaiting them, they didn’t want to leave the room. But, they knew, avoiding it would only serve to make it worse. 

The second they opened the door they smelled pancakes, no doubt Toriel was making breakfast. They wondered if Papyrus was helping, his cooking skills had improved a lot under Toriel’s guidance, to the point where he didn’t only cook spaghetti - and even when he did, the spaghetti was genuinely good. 

But when they entered the kitchen he was nowhere to be found, though Sans sat, joking with Toriel. The second they peeked around the corner Sans stiffened, meeting their eyes with a serious look that sent shivers down their spine. Still, he didn’t pause in his jokes, waiting for them to come in properly.

At least his eye-lights hadn’t gone out. They don’t know what they would’ve done if they had. Probably cry and freeze up, that seemed to be a common response of theirs.  _ Don’t just stand there, sit down and eat like a normal person.  _ Chara spat, already annoyed at them. What a great way to start the day.  **You do realize I’m not a normal person?** _ Oh shut up.  _

“Oh, good morning Frisk!” Toriel said when she turned around, realizing they were there. They sat, smiling nervously as she served them all pancakes. “How did you sleep?” She asked, and Frisk shrugged.

*Good, I guess* They signed, unsure. They didn’t have any nightmares for once, which was nice, but it hadn’t been the most peaceful night ever, they’d woken several times with worry over what would happen in the morning. Toriel nodded, a gentle smile on her face.

“That’s good to hear. And what about you, Sans?” She asked, and he shrugged noncommittally. 

“eh, not the best night, not the worst.” He said, and Frisk nodded. It was about the same for them. They paused mid-bite, glancing around in confusion.

*Where’s Papyrus? He’s usually up pretty early* They pointed out, and Sans chuckled.

“undyne invited him over to train, and he was so excited i had to stop him from jumping out the window.” Frisk let out a quiet laugh at the image, Sans physically restraining his brother as he tried to dramatically leap through the bathroom window. They wished they’d been awake to see it. 

_ You could reload. _ Chara whispered in their ear, and it took all their self-restraint to keep from shaking their head.  **I saved only minutes ago, it would just bring me back to then. And even if I found a way to go to my previous save, that was before the conversation.** _ You’re no fun.  _ **No, you’re just not thinking rationally.** It took them a moment to realize a conversation was still going on.

*I can only imagine what that would’ve looked like* Sans gave them a funny look but said nothing, digging into his food once more. Toriel waited until everyone had finished eating to speak again.

“Look, my child, I know this is a sensitive subject, but we really need to talk about last night.” She said, and instantly Frisk stiffened, going rigid in their seat. Sans watched with a mix between concern and defensive curiosity. 

*Sorry* They signed, looking away. Toriel sighed.

“Frisk, I am not mad at you. But I cannot help you if you do not tell me what happened.” She said, and Frisk looked up at her, a defeated look in their eyes.  _ Really?! You’re just going to give up, just like that? Where’s your determination? Where’s your self-preservation? _ Frisk grew visibly uncomfortable with their words, but said nothing.

*Where do you want to start?* They asked, no use giving away more than they absolutely had to. Toriel seemed worried but didn’t comment

“Well, to begin with, why the top of Mount Ebott?” She asked, and Frisk paused.

It was a good question, really. No one knew the sentimental value behind it, not even Chara. Granted, she knew some of the reasons behind it, but not all of them, and if the voice in their head didn’t even know then they  _ certainly  _ weren’t going to spill it now, in a conversation where they could easily avoid it.

*It’s important, and secluded. And away from all of the lights, so you could see the stars better* They explained the best they could, and Toriel sighed again. 

“I suppose that’s as good an explanation as any.” Sans still seemed wary, but he believed them. It felt like a huge weight off their chest that he did. “Secondly, and more sensitively, why did you react that way last night?” She asked, and Frisk froze, before forcing themself to relax.  _ Idiot.  _ They ignored her.

*You’ll have to be more specific* They said, and Toriel gave a worried look.

“I suppose you’re right. But... why were you scared of me?” She asked quietly, and Frisk’s eyes fell. This wasn’t something they wanted to talk about.

*Trauma* Was all they said, not meeting her eyes. It was such a broad answer, but it covered such a broad reason. It was more than just the resets, more than the times they’d been killed by her, more than the times they’d killed her. They couldn’t possibly cover it all. Toriel knew there was more to it, but she didn’t pry.

“i’ve got one. why were you so afraid for my brother?” Sans asked, and Frisk winced.

*I...* They looked away, refusing to meet either of their eyes. *I couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt. Not when it was my fault* They did their best to keep their hands from shaking.  _ Stop it. You know how to be done with all of this, but you and your stupid morals are stopping you.  _ Frisk had to keep themself from letting out a whimper. Chara quieted down at that, still annoyed, but quieter. 

“How was it your fault?” Toriel asked softly. Frisk closed their eyes. 

*He was out there because of me. It’s... it’s dangerous out there. There are a lot of bad people, and if he got hurt because he was looking for me...* They trailed off, tears welling up in their eyes. They quickly scrubbed them away. 

Sans was staring. He didn’t know if he should believe them or not. On one hand, they seemed genuinely shaken up and guilty by this, on the brink of tears at the thought of him getting hurt because of them. On the other hand, he’d watched them carelessly and coldly murder his brother so many times he’d lost count, all while grinning. 

Something wasn’t right about that. Something about the duality of their actions didn’t sit right with him. There had been countless timelines, and yet, they usually followed 2 main paths, even the ‘neutral’ runs could be split into curiosity and cruel experimentation. 

“My child, that is not your fault. We all care about you, we all would’ve done the same.” Frisk wasn’t convinced.  _ Pathetic, really. You can’t make up your mind.  _ Frisk choked back a laugh, though it wasn’t exactly a happy one.  **Maybe that’s because it’s not really** **_my_ ** **mind.** Chara fell silent. “Frisk,” Their eyes snapped up to meet Toriel’s at her tone. “I know you would’ve done the same for us. Do not blame yourself, it is not your fault.” Frisk stared at her.

It was their fault. They knew it. But insisting so would only hurt her worse. So, swallowing thickly, they pretended to be reassured, to believe her, as they nodded silently.

*Thank you* They signed gently, as though afraid even forming the words would burn them. Toriel gave a small smile before sitting back. 

“Now, how about we decide what to do today?” She asked, and Frisk began to think. School was out for another week for Spring Break, so they didn’t have to worry about schoolwork, and besides, it was the weekend anyways. What was something fun they could do together?

“The park!” They exclaimed happily, before quickly shying away as they both turned to look at them. *We could go to the park* They suggested, more calmly. Toriel grinned at her, and Sans cracked a smile once more, back to his usual, ‘happy’ self. Frisk knew better, but said nothing. 

“That sounds wonderful. In fact, we can have Papyrus and Undyne meet us there when they’re done with training!” Toriel said excitedly. Sans grinned.

“alphys might even get off work soon enough to  _ swing  _ by, if we’re still there.” He said, and Toriel stifled a laugh, Frisk giving a sarcastic grin. “eh, not my best, i know, but what can i say, i’m  _ bone _ -tired from last night.” Toriel chuckled, and Frisk jumped to their feet.

“Come on!” They said excitedly, grabbing Sans by the hand and trying to drag him away, unsuccessfully.  _ You could easily carry him over your shoulder if you  _ really  _ tried.  _ Frisk ignored the thought. No need to raise unnecessary concern.

“woah there kid, you gotta slow down. i can't go from  _ parked  _ to moving that fast.” Frisk only rolled their eyes, tugging a little harder. Sans paused for a moment, his eye-lights flickering for a millisecond. It was then that he realized just how much sheer restraint the kid was using to allow him to still pull away if he wanted. He allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, not wanting to test the kid’s resolve.

Especially not after the last run.

Granted, it had been months since then. This was the longest the kid had ever gone without resetting, at least, after making it to the surface. And they’d managed to save everyone this time, from the smallest Froggit or Whimsun to even king fluffybuns himself. He was proud of the kid, and he tried to keep his distrust at bay, but there was only so much he could do.  _ Especially after everything he’d witnessed. _

Frisk had trailed off in thought as well, similar thinking patterns emerging without either of the two realizing. Something had seemed off about Chara since then. Chara had always been murderous, even more so for some of their runs, trying to destroy reality itself. Frisk had lost control more times than they could count.

The worst times had been when they had made it to the surface with everyone,  _ everyone,  _ finally safe and free, only for Chara to rip control away, resetting it all before they even had the chance to fight it. They had cried those times, waking up in the flowerbed and seeing Toriel standing over them in worry, knowing that it was more than likely that they’d watch her die that run. 

Chara had changed, somewhat. They weren’t good, the thought lingering from the night before, but something had gone wrong. Something about the control finally being ripped away from  _ her,  _ torn away and resolutely remaining out of her grip for the entirety of the run, it had changed something in her. And sure, she was still murderous, and wasn’t  _ nearly  _ an example of shining morality, but it was better than Frisk had even dared hope for when they’d first seen what she was capable of.

It reminded them of Sans’ question, about even the worst person being capable of changing. It had been asked of them so many times that they knew they’d never forget it. Nor would they forget what followed afterwards.

_ Do you wanna have a bad time? _

They repressed a shudder and forced themselves back to the present, right as Sans seemed to be doing the same, stumbling to his feet. Toriel glanced between the two of them, worried that they seemed to share the same troubling thoughts, whatever they were, but for now she brushed it aside, happy to take them to the park.

Humanity had taken a while to allow them rights, but thanks to many,  _ many  _ activist groups speaking up, having been moved by Frisk’s inspiring words when they’d first emerged from the mountains, they had been allowed many things fairly quickly.

Toriel had been the first to learn how to drive, knowing she was probably the most responsible of them to be behind the wheel, and besides, she was the mother of the family, she had to be able to get them from place to place. Property ownership had been one of the harder ones to attain, but eventually they’d been allowed to gain their own house.

It turned out that gold was  _ highly  _ valued on the surface, and practically all monsters had a lot more fortune than they’d imagined. It had allowed many dreams to come true, making the surface even more wonder-filled than they had first imagined. Frisk had been ecstatic to finally break the news to them all, it had been one of the things they’d looked forward to ever since learning about monster currency.

It had broken their heart that they hadn’t been able to tell them for years, but that didn’t matter now.

No, what mattered now was that they were all going to the park, and they were going to enjoy it as a family, as best they could. Toriel had basically adopted the skeleton brothers when they’d gotten to the surface, taking them in despite their - rather weak - protests. 

Undyne and Alphys had gotten a small house a few blocks away, while Asgore had opened his own flower shop, with one of the small apartments above it. He found it much more humbling after all his time in the palace, and he knew it was a well-needed break away from glory, especially glory that he didn’t feel he deserved.

Toriel sighed, a fond smile on her face as she got to her feet, heading towards the door. She grabbed a jacket for Frisk, just in case, so she wouldn’t have to harp on the child to bring one. Sans never took his jacket  _ off,  _ even in the summer heat, so she didn’t have to worry about that for now, and she carefully attempted to put her shoes on.

Frisk scrambled after her, racing to get their sneakers on and out the door before Toriel could, a silent game they always played, seeing who could get ready first. Frisk always managed to win, unless they were especially tired or unmotivated, which was unlike them. Toriel simply smiled, she never really cared who won, only happy that it brought Frisk joy.

Within minutes they had packed themselves in the car - Toriel was grateful that they were designing new models specifically intended for monsters, so that it wouldn’t be such a hassle to fit herself in the driver's seat, though she had purposefully chosen a rather roomy car. And only mere minutes after they pulled out of the driveway were they seeing the still rather empty playground.

Granted, it got its fair use over the months, but there were never many people there at once. Frisk supposed it was because different monster types liked to play at different times of the day, so the use was more spread out than it was in typically human frequented playgrounds. 

Sure enough, after almost an hour of mindless play - one of the few things Frisk had missed from their life before the fall - Undyne and Papyrus arrived to join the fun. Sans was mostly sitting on the bench, watching them play, while Toriel was engaging in safe encouragement of her child’s fun, pushing them on the swing occasionally or playing along and trying to fit into the small playset to try the slides, even if she often could not fit. 

Papyrus was more than happy to climb about, investigating the area fit for children’s play, while Undyne wanted to attempt a fake battle, which Toriel adamantly refused to let happen. Frisk didn’t mind much either way, though they were secretly glad that Toriel had put a stop to it. They knew how overexcited Undyne could get, and while they trusted her, they didn’t know if they could handle an accidental injury today.

Physically, of course, but mentally? They really didn’t want to deal with that.

Alphys got off of work soon after, happily joining them in the park, though she mostly worried about the safety of everything, or chatted with Undyne. Asgore would’ve come, but he had more strict work hours, running a shop and all. Toriel had grown more used to him, less harsh and a slight amount of fondness returning to her heart, but she still couldn’t entirely forgive him for the past. He didn’t blame her.

“Hey, look!” Frisk shouted, excited as they swung themselves higher and higher on the swings.  _ This would be an interesting way to attack.  _ **Oh shut it, I know you’re having fun too.** _ Hmph.  _ Though, a thought did occur to them, and they grinned mischievously, the only warning before they launched themself from their seat.

They landed on the roof of the playset, smiling triumphantly down at everyone, who were all staring with a mix of worry, panic, and relief. Papyrus cheered at their feat, and they closed their eyes, basking in the warm sunlight as they stood over them all.

They didn’t notice their feet beginning to slip until it was too late. 

They were high up, high enough that a fall from this height, at their relatively low HP, could mean a reload. All the way to earlier this morning. And a bashed in skull or snapped neck, which would probably be more traumatizing to those who had to witness it, but that was less permanent. They didn’t have time to call out for help, and everyone was too far away to reach.

Even Papyrus had frozen in fear, unable to do anything more than panic as Toriel and Undyne cried out, panic wavering their voices as Frisk’s life momentarily flashed before their eyes. Even Chara couldn’t save them now - not that they would appear for something they considered so trivial as saving them a few hours of not having to load their save.

Suddenly they froze midair, or at least slowed, until gravity turned upside-down. Their eyes were still closed, leaving them disoriented as something gripped and tightened around their soul. Since when had it gotten hard to breathe? They were gently lowered onto the ground, but they barely noticed, their eyes flickering open just enough to see Sans’ eye glowing a faint cyan. 

They began to hyperventilate. 

Memories started flooding back and they could hear Chara’s laugh echoing in their mind, could feel their arms moving against their will, could feel the dust and blood sticking to them like an ashy goo, sickening in every aspect. They heard footsteps approaching and they could see in their mind, Sans walking forwards, all sympathy gone from his face as he jerked them around, changing gravity on a whim as he finally gave his all for one goal: destroying them.

They deserved it, they knew they did. And they had betrayed him more than he could ever do to them. But still, they couldn’t shake the heartbreaking feeling of watching their friend, their  _ family,  _ use his all for the first time in his life (that he could (supposedly) remember, at least) to incinerate them. Blasters all around, bones breaking through the walls and floor and coated in blood, his eye glowing so bright that it looked like a flame. 

A flame that burned solely to bring them eternal damnation.

They could feel their own bones being shattered as they were slammed against countless walls, even the ceiling occasionally, blood splattering everywhere as they died over and over again. It was nothing compared to the fate of the monsters they’d so cruelly killed, but still, the image was searing into their mind, burning so bright they were sure everyone could see it. 

There was someone speaking, someone murmuring above them. Someone reached out to touch them and they flinched back, hitting into someone else. They whimpered, closing their eyes tighter as they crammed their hands to their ears, trying to block everything out. Someone gently tugged their hands away and they nearly screamed.

“-isk? Frisk? Are you okay?” A voice cut through and they shook their head, backing away frantically.

“no no no no no no stop-” They gasped for air and fell silent again, forcing back tears.

“Frisk!” They flinched back again at the loud noise. Whoever was speaking softened their tone. “Frisk, I need you to open your eyes. It doesn’t have to be out loud, but just- list 5 things you can see.” Their voice was gentle, pleading, and Frisk couldn’t help but comply, prying their eyes open as they glanced around furtively.

“T-tree, swing, uh,” They swallowed nervously “Dirt, and, uh, slide?” They blinked, not daring to look up, and the voice seemed satisfied.

“Okay, you’re doing great. Now, four things you can feel?” Frisk began to panic.

“B-blood, and pain- and oh  _ god,  _ dust and no no  _ no-”  _ There was a whine from somewhere nearby and it only served to make Frisk feel worse.

“Frisk.” They forced their eyes closed again. “Frisk listen to me, that isn’t real. I promise you it isn’t. List me 4 things you can feel, 4 real things.” They reiterated, and Frisk took a shallow breath, trying to steady themself.

“My s-sweater. Dirt. Hair. H-hand.” They leaned forwards, away from the touch, and the hand obediently retracted itself. 

“Good. 3 things you can hear?” Frisk tried to stay in the present, they really did, but it was hard.

“Screams. No, _ no.”  _ They took a deep breath. “Breathing. Wind. Shuffling.” They mumbled the last part, but the voice seemed to think it counted.

“You’re almost done. 2 things you can smell?” They scrunched up their nose in confusion, before taking a tentative sniff of the air around them. “Sweat, and... air?” They said quietly, and they heard an affirmative hum.

“And finally, one thing you can taste?” Frisk paused.

“Spit?” They asked, and Undyne let out a relieved sigh.  _ Undyne.  _ That was who had helped them calm down. They carefully opened their eyes.

They almost immediately regretted it, the concerned looks from everyone around them overwhelming, but they took a deep breath, taking it all in. Surprisingly, the one who looked the most panicked, was  _ Sans.  _ Though, they supposed, it was  _ his  _ magic who had sent them spiralling, but that wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t known, he couldn’t have known.

“...‘M sorry.” They mumbled out, and Toriel let out a sad hum.

“It’s nothing to be sorry for, my child.” She said, before pausing. “Well, you should’ve been more careful, but that is an issue we can deal with later.” Chara’s voice finally returned.  _ Wow. I didn’t know you still had it in you to freak them all out. I’m almost proud.  _ **Please... don’t.** There was an annoyed sigh, but Chara fell silent. That was definitely a new thing, her actually  _ listening  _ when Frisk told them it was too much.

“How did you know that would work?” Frisk finally asked, their voice still quiet, barely there even, but it hadn’t left them quite yet. They didn’t know how long that would last. Undyne sighed sadly.

“I worked with quite a few guards with trauma, I’ve had to help them out of flashbacks before. I just didn’t realise- I didn’t know  _ you’d  _ gone through enough to cause them.” She said, looking away ashamedly, as though it was somehow  _ her  _ fault. 

“i’m- i’m sorry kid. i shouldn’t have used my magic on you like that without your permission, i just-” Frisk shook their head determinedly.

“Don’t be sorry. You  _ saved  _ me. I could’ve-” They began to choke and had to bite back bile. “I could’ve  _ died,  _ because I was too reckless to care. You saved me.” They said, so earnestly it almost hurt. Sans stared.

“My child-” Toriel broke through, a grief in her eyes that made Frisk wish they had just had to load instead of putting her through such pain. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, but- what did you mean you felt blood?  _ Dust?”  _ She asked, and they all shuddered at the implications. Frisk looked away, falling silent.

*I don’t want to talk about it* They signed, and Toriel sighed.

“I understand. Just, promise me you will tell someone if you’re suffering?” She asked, and Frisk met her eyes. They quickly glanced away.

*I promise* They signed, feeling horrible as they spelled out the lie. If anyone noticed, they didn’t point it out.  _ Great way to earn their trust. I mean, I guess it’s better than  _ **literally** _ stabbing them in the back.  _ Frisk didn’t comment.

“Are you okay, Frisk?” Papyrus asked, quieter than usual. “Physically, at least?” Frisk gave a shaky smile.

*Yeah, I’m alright* There was relief all around, though Sans still looked guilty. There was something in his eyes that Frisk couldn’t quite place. 

Regardless, Frisk dusted themself off, standing up. They grinned, a genuine smile bringing ease to them all, and they stepped forwards, hugging Toriel tightly. They knew how much they both needed the physical reassurance, even if Toriel would never admit it. She smiled, returning the embrace. 

“W-we should all h-head home.” Alphys suggested, and there were hearty nods all around. Soon enough they were all packing into their own cars, heading their separate ways with goodbyes that seemed a little too heartfelt considering the short distance between their houses. No one mentioned it, and soon they were on their way. 

By the time they got home it was already creeping into the evening, and Toriel decided to make them all an early dinner, a way to ensure they were all energized and properly nourished after the rather, exciting, day. They were all grateful for the distraction. 

“Frisk” Papyrus asked, back to his loud and boisterous self, though he was still being a little more cautious than usual. Sans glanced up, watching carefully as the interaction took place. “I have to wonder, is it all blue soul magic that upsets you? I do not wish to cause harm by accident.” He confessed, and Frisk nodded, looking away.

*Yeah, it just really messes with me for some reason* They signed, as though they didn’t know why it brought back such harsh memories. Papyrus nodded.

“Then I, the Great Papyrus, declare I will never use it on you again! I shall protect you against any harmful feelings to come!” He exclaimed, and Frisk let out a quiet laugh. At least Papyrus was still his chipper self, eager to protect as always. Sans sat back, visibly relieved by that, though the concern still lingered. Frisk pretended they weren’t watching his reaction.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of chatty dinner, puns galore, and loud outbursts of both laughter and rage. Soon enough they were all heading to bed, and Frisk paused for a moment before settling in. Toriel was coming in in a moment to tuck them in, but they felt a deep tugging in their soul, something urging them to save for the night. They sighed, giving in to the compulsion, feeling the determination flow gently through them as they readied for bed. 

Two meltdowns in front of their family in less than 24 hours. They had to be more careful, they couldn’t let them find out, not yet. They just couldn’t let them know, and something, deep down within them, knew the danger behind ever revealing the truth. Chara whispered in their ear, and they shivered, knowing that this time, it wasn’t a worst case scenario. It was a very real possibility.

Toriel came in quietly, a fond smile on her face as she turned out the light, the faint glow of the moon the only thing illuminating the two. She bent over, carefully bringing up the covers until they were just snug against Frisk’s shoulders, and they smiled warmly. It was a kind of love and protection they’d never felt, even before the fall. Chara glanced at them but said nothing, taking their preferred form of mostly unseen spirit.

“Rest well, my child.” She said, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to their forehead. 

“Goodnight mom.” They said softly, and Toriel tried not to show the sheer delight that lit up her heart at the phrase. Within a moment she was gone, nothing more than a soft memory as the door slid shut. Slowly, surely, they drifted off to sleep.

_. . . _

_ Darkness. That’s all there was, inky black consuming everything. Dust trailed quietly behind them, almost unnoticed as their shadow was cast over it. They glanced around, panic growing, when suddenly there was an orange glow in front of them. Their eyes shot up, meeting the buttons that had haunted them for years now since they had first appeared.  _

|ERASE| |DO NOT|

_ They backed away, but a cold chuckle echoed through the emptiness. The glow flickered and their eyes darted up once more, only to look past their two options at the faint red glow coming from the figure behind them. Chara’s eyes had disappeared again, leaving inky, soulless voids that seemed to drip malice. Their face was contorted so unnaturally that there was no logical explanation for it, and Frisk shuddered.  _

_ “Go on, Frisky! Erase this world! Let us be rid of this reality as we call ourselves the one thing that truly fits: Gods!” She laughed, a horrible, broken, shrieking sound that made Frisk’s ears practically bleed.  _

_ “No. N-no!” They stumbled back, and Chara’s eyes ignited, demonic screeching echoing in the back of their mind.  _

_“S_ _i_ _n_ _c_ _e w_ _h_ _e n w_ _a_ _s t_ _h a_ _t y_ _o_ _u_ _r c_ _h_ _o_ _i_ _c_ _e t_ _o m_ _a_ _k_ _e_ _?” Frisk let out a strangled cry and numbers began flashing all around._

_ Reality began to crumble, taking them both with it.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	5. A Peaceful Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No reason to mistrust the chapter title :)

Frisk awoke with a strangled cry that they quickly muffled. They were fine, they were _fine,_ they had made it out. Reality still existed, they weren’t gone, everyone was _fine._ They’d saved everyone. It took a while, but finally, their breathing steadied out. Chara hovered by the other bed - the bedroom had had two when they’d moved in, and no one had the heart to drag the other out. 

Chara didn’t need sleep, nor did she ever actually sleep even if she could. But it was nice to have a place to rest, not that she’d ever admit it. Still, they hovered, transparent, yet still there. They still had almost full access to Frisk’s mind, when Frisk experienced something, strongly at least, they experienced it too. 

The worst part were the nightmares. Because, instead of being on the other end, instead of being herself on the other side, happy and demonic and cruel, they were still confined to _Frisk’s_ experience. That fear, that horrid, gut-wrenching pain of reality collapsing, that they’d _actually experienced_ enough times for it to feel the same way in the nightmares - they felt all of that too.

It was the first thing to make them stop. They’d been furious, after they’d ended the last run in the middle of the fight - Chara had wanted to test Sans, to see how many times they could kill him before he finally snapped, since he clearly remembered deaths, at the very least. Perhaps he could sense reloads, in some way? It didn’t matter. She’d wanted to see how long it took until he snapped. 

Frisk had ripped that away from them, had torn control of their body away and forced her to do something entirely against her will. She’d been pissed beyond imagining, but that moment, the few seconds of sheer terror as she did something out of her control, her will completely overruled by someone else - it had terrified her. And to know, that _that_ was what Frisk went through every time they were in control, well...

They didn’t have a soul. They couldn’t feel those strong emotions, they simply couldn’t. Compassion wasn’t something she felt anymore. She was a **demon** for crying out loud. But it changed her. There was no empathy in the action, she hadn’t wanted to risk going through that again, it was all for personal gain. 

But she could guess that the nightmares were part of the reason they’d done it, ripping back control. The nightmares that they’d never experienced before, as Chara had never needed the sleep, even when in control, and Frisk had run on healing items and monster food for long enough to avoid sleep until the end of a run - the only time they’d ever slept was occasionally in the beginning, when Toriel gave them the room, but even then, they rarely got actual rest.

Now that it was finally over, the nightmares had begun. And this was just the start, they could tell. The nightmares were sure to get worse, now that their brain was finally processing everything that had happened in the 3 years that didn’t technically exist. 

Chara didn’t like the nightmares at all.

Frisk sighed, it had left them with a major headache, but other than that they’d managed to make it out of the nightmare unscathed, which was a definite improvement. Usually it took them hours to calm down, though that was more common when they woke up in the middle of the night. They could deal with a headache if it was the only lasting effect. 

One time they’d woken with their shirt torn open and a light scratch on their stomach.

Apparently Chara had been freaking out and trying to wake them up since experiencing a nightmare while awake was quite the experience, but when nothing worked had resorted to trying to startle them awake with the knife. 

She’d stopped the second she realized she was able to do real damage. Frisk had simply changed and told Toriel that they’d snagged it on something and it had ripped, which she had been reluctant to believe, but had eventually conceded on and forgotten about.

Frisk sighed, standing up. _How about this._ Frisk paused, glancing up. _Since we’re not resetting, every day, at least once, we save. It could become part of your morning routine._ Frisk paused, considering it. The amount of energy it took was annoying, but if they were to do it every morning, or even before bed if they forgot, then they would be able to regain that energy fairly quickly. And it saved them from having to go back weeks if something went wrong. **Fine, but if I’m too tired to do it then you can’t yell at me.** _Whatever keeps us alive._ Frisk glanced at them, then, but she quickly disappeared back into their mind, refusing to let them see the expression on her face. 

Frisk sighed good-naturedly, smiling gently as they made their way out of the room. They winced in the bright light of the morning sun, it certainly didn’t help their headache. Still, they pushed through it, pretending nothing was wrong as they shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing their eyes blearily as they watched Toriel serve breakfast. Papyrus was with them this time, looking rather annoyed, they guessed Sans and Toriel had been exchanging puns again. 

“Frisk! How did you sleep last night? I suppose you must’ve been knocked out cold after all the excitement from yesterday!” Papyrus exclaimed, and Frisk winced at his volume, earning a concerned glance from Toriel.

“I’m good, I just have a killer headache. It feels like someone’s splitting my skull.” They said casually, their words still a little slurred. Silence fell and they blinked their eyes open, confused. Both Sans and Papyrus looked heavily concerned, almost disturbed. “Did I say something wrong?” They asked quietly, and Papyrus shook his head, attempting to be quieter at the news of their headache. They were appreciative of the changes he’d made since they’d first met him, he seemed to be much more aware of his volume.

“Your... skull?” Papyrus asked, and Frisk nodded, confused.

“Yeah? I mean it’s not like the bone is _actually_ splitting but-” Papyrus cut in, looking even more worried.

“ _Bone?_ You have bones underneath your skin?” He asked, and Frisk was utterly confused now.

“Yeah, all humans do, they’re part of our skeleto-” They froze, realization setting in. Sans and Papyrus shared unnerved looks.

“uh, kid, you mean to tell me that humans have skeletons underneath their skin?” Sans asked, and Frisk let out a distressed whine. 

“They’re not _monsters,_ they’re just parts of us, I never realized, I just assumed-” They let out a weak laugh “I mean, it was kind of weird when I first met you guys, seeing something that was supposed to be either inside a person or the dead remains of someone just walking around, acting like it was normal, but-” Their eyes widened and they slammed their head into the table, refusing to lift it. Sans and Papyrus were growing more and more unsettled. 

“Are you alright, my child?” Toriel asked, growing worried.

“I’m regretting all of my life choices, but yeah.” They mumbled into the wood. Toriel only grew more concerned, but Frisk couldn’t see that. “Oh god, _halloween-”_ They lifted their head from the table frantically. “ _Please_ don’t look it up, anything halloween related, _oh god-”_ They cut themself off, growing more panicked by the moment. _What, afraid they’ll know about skeletons for Halloween?_ **None of the decorations have clothes, which isn’t weird for** **_us,_ ** **but-** _Oh god you’re right._ Even Chara was uncomfortable now, and Sans grew more concerned.

“why, kiddo? something you don’t want us to see?” Frisk tore at their hair, only further worrying the table.

“Sans.” They said, dead serious, meeting his eyes. He stared back, growing almost panicked. “All skeletons in _any_ form of media are based off our internal workings. Meaning almost none of them are wearing _clothes.”_ They said, their discomfort growing. There was awkward realization all around the table.

Silence fell as no one knew how to react to that. A memory was dredged up from the depths of Frisk’s mind and they became outright distraught. It felt like years ago. _Maybe that’s because it technically was._ **Oh shut it, that doesn’t matter.** Chara did the mental equivalent of sticking out her tongue. Frisk laid their head on the table again, groaning. 

“Why couldn’t I have forgotten that when I fell.” They mumbled, which earned almost panicked looks from the three monsters.

“Forgotten what, my child?” Frisk whined. 

“You know how people dress up for Halloween? Sometimes as fictional creatures?” They asked, still not lifting their head. It had taken them quite a few resets to learn to stop speaking in human based speech, phrases like “only human”, “human-decency”, and language referring to fictional beasts as monsters, as they’d been called for centuries.

“Yes?” Toriel asked gently. Frisk mumbled something in response that none of them were able to decipher. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Frisk sighed, their cheeks flushing.

“I was a skeleton for Halloween once.” They said, not daring to open their eyes. It was part of the life they didn’t want to remember, one of the few happy memories from before. From the life that had led them to Mount Ebott. That caught Chara’s curiosity, but she didn’t say anything, not yet.

“jeez kid, you could’ve just said you like me.” Sans said, trying to diffuse the awkward situation with humor. Frisk bolted up, a bright blush on their face. 

“Sans!” They said, already uncomfortable. Still, they noticed the telltale faint blue glow radiating from his cheeks, and they could tell he wasn’t that much more comfortable than they were. “I do admire you, but that was back when any type of monster was considered a silly fear that children had.” They said, and _that_ caught Sans off guard. He had meant it as a teasing remark, but hearing that the kid actually looked up to him? **_Admired_ ** him? He didn’t know how to respond. 

“Silly fear? Whatever could you mean by that, Frisk?” Papyrus asked, curious. They were thankful he had dropped the ‘human’ from their name, now just referring to them as ‘Frisk’. It had taken him a while, but it was a lot more comfortable for them.

“Oh god, there’s so much about human culture that’s weird now.” They said, though they’d already had this particular realization around a year and a half ago. “Basically, a common fear young children had, other than the dark, was that there would be a monster hiding under their bed, or in their closet, waiting to eat them the moment their parents left.” There were matching disgusted looks all around. “Yeah, I know. It didn’t help when movies came out with those tropes. Seriously, there are so many ‘monster’ movies that I couldn’t begin to name them all.” They sighed. “Human culture is weird.” 

“i’m gonna have to agree with you on that.” Sans said, smiling. Papyrus nodded.

“Perhaps we can study some of this human culture to better understand it!” He exclaimed, and Frisk winced. “Oh, right, sorry.” He said, remembering how the whole conversation had started.

“I’ll get you some pain medicine.” Toriel said, standing up. Frisk smiled gratefully. 

“Thank you.” They said quietly, and the rest of the meal passed in relative silence, even after Toriel returned. Frisk was glad when the pain finally faded, but it was still awkward after their revelation, especially considering the new light that all of Frisk’s past memories were under. 

_Tonight._ Chara whispered in their ear, and they did their best not to flinch. They knew the sound wasn’t real, Chara’s voice was still in their head even when she appeared to be right next to them. _We’re sneaking out tonight. No but’s about it._ Frisk sighed internally, they supposed they didn’t have much of a choice. Gotta keep her occupied, couldn’t let her get too tempted to press a button.

 **Fine, but let’s at least wait until midnight, we can’t have them realizing we’re gone again.** _Whatever floats your boat._ Frisk smiled. 

“Why don’t we have a movie marathon?” Toriel suggested as they were cleaning up, Frisk insisting on helping even though Toriel tried to convince them that they didn’t have to.

“Hmm?” Frisk hummed, focused on scrubbing the plate in their hands. 

“To see all of these ‘monster movies’ you talked about. We could invite everyone over and watch them all.” Frisk frowned, biting their lip. On one hand, it would be fun to laugh at how unrealistic the movies were with their family, but on the other hand, there were so many more serious issues hidden away in the movies - especially considering a lot of the ‘monster’ aspects of the movies were really allegories for minorities in one way or another.

 _And it better not interfere with us sneaking out tonight._ Chara hissed, and for a moment Frisk paused. It was one of the few times Chara had referred to a “them”, as in both of them, rather than a ‘you’ or ‘me’. And this time it wasn’t for the purpose of a run, genocide or otherwise. They couldn’t entirely tell if it was a sign the two were growing closer or that they were becoming a little too similar for Frisk’s liking, but they supposed they could figure that out later.

Frisk went to speak but found they couldn’t. They let out an annoyed huff, simply nodding instead. They couldn’t exactly sign while holding the dish, and even if they set it down it would be hard to understand and probably not very legible due to all the soap. They wished they were able to just make text boxes, but they supposed that was just something for fiction.

 _...I could make them for you._ Frisk nearly startled, just barely managing to keep their composure. **What do you mean?** _I could make physical text bubbles appear for you, so you could see what everyone was saying._ **...thank you, but that doesn’t really help the problem of** me **speaking.** _I could make them appear to everyone._ **The whole world?** They thought skeptically. Chara sighed. _No, but everyone you’re close to. Physically, I mean, though I guess that includes emotionally._ Frisk held back a sigh. **As wonderful as that sounds, wouldn’t everyone freak out about suddenly having text bubbles appear?**

 _Not if it’s been happening ever since the latest human fell._ **No.** **I am not resetting again, no matter how nice that would be. I made a vow.** _Ugh, fine, you and your stupid promises. Still, they’d get used to it eventually._ **And how would I explain the fact that it only happens to those close to me?** _Say it was a weird aftereffect of fighting Flowey, they’ll believe that._ **...thank you. I really appreciate you trying to help, but-** _I’m not trying to help you! I don’t care!_ **...okay. But I can’t accept, it would be too hard to explain, and I’m already lying to them enough. Still, thank you.** _Fine, whatever._

It was then that they realized they’d gone silent, standing almost disturbingly still for some amount of time. Toriel was staring worriedly, Papyrus seeming to think it was another flashback, while Sans seemed suspicious while still concerned. Toriel must’ve noticed the awareness return to their eyes, because she broke the silence.

“My child? Are you alright?” She asked worriedly. Frisk ignored the way Chara squirmed at her tone. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just spaced out a bit is all.” They said, giving a genuine smile. Toriel smiled uneasily and Sans continued to stare for a moment, before plastering on his signature grin, pretending it was fine. 

Papyrus decided to help with dishes after that, and they were soon finished with plenty of time to spare. It was a Sunday, meaning no one really had anywhere to be, so with a few excited phonecalls they arranged for everyone to come over, even Asgore. 

They crowded on the couch, Undyne and Alphys sharing one of the overly large armchairs, Asgore on the other, while Toriel, Frisk, Sans and Papyrus all crammed onto the couch. Toriel took the left side, leaning on the armrest a bit to allow more room, with Papyrus on the far right, leaving just enough room that Sans and Frisk weren’t _totally_ sandwiched together.

Still, as the day went on, with everyone enjoying the movies to varying degrees - as was to be expected - Frisk ended up leaning more and more to their right, until they were practically in Sans’ lap. They didn’t notice until night started to fall, as they began to fully realize the exhaustion left from the past few days' events, as well as the nightmare. Climbing an entire mountain and then back down it only to have three other stressful situations wasn’t exactly good for energy levels.

They passed out for a moment - and they could tell it was passing out and not falling asleep because they went light headed for a moment before blacking out, only to jolt awake moments later without feeling sleepy - waking up half in Sans’ lap, blinking up at the ceiling. 

Strangely enough, they felt comfortable enough with him that they didn’t feel the immediate fearful need to jump out of his arms with an apology. There were no romantic feelings - he was at _least_ 25 (probably older) and they were a child - but something about him felt _safe_ , in a way no one else did.

 _What do you mean?! Have you forgotten the countless times he’s killed us? The times he’s killed_ ** _you??_** Chara screamed in their head, but they ignored it. Sans himself seemed vaguely uncomfortable, but then again he wasn’t used to any real physical affection not from Papyrus, which even then was kind of rare considering Papyrus didn’t really hug people, merely screamed excitedly with them. And he wasn’t really used to people trusting him, either, so this was definitely new to him.

He didn’t seem to be uncomfortable in the silent way Frisk often was, unwilling to say anything but eager to get out of the situation, so Frisk didn’t move, instead closing their eyes again and allowing sleep to come naturally, a gentle promise in their mind as they drifted off. **Just because I’m falling asleep doesn’t mean I forgot.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you :)


	6. A Snippet Of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!

They woke up, just barely, as the clock hit 11, doing their best to keep their eyes closed just enough to still look asleep while being able to see. There was a gentle coo and they vaguely saw people heading towards the door, most likely the movie night had ended and they were all heading home. A few of them commented something or other about Frisk, but they weren’t really paying attention to the voices. 

After the door squeaked shut they felt themself being lifted out of Sans’ lap and into gentle, furry arms, carrying them softly away to their room. They heard a mumble from a voice that they vaguely thought shouldn’t be that quiet, asking about something they didn’t fully understand.

“...I ...be the one... tuck...” They mumbled quietly, only a few words really reaching Frisk’s ears. They were laid in bed and there was the sound of someone shuffling out of the room, leaving only one other person there besides Frisk.

“Goodnight, Frisk. I apologize for all of the stress lately, it seems even I wasn’t great enough to prevent it.” He said, and Frisk’s eyes fluttered open, a sad look coming across their face.

“Papyrus?” They mumbled tiredly, and he smiled gently down at them. They weakly reached out an arm, their tired attempt at giving a hug. At least he seemed to understand, doing his best to return the one-armed embrace. “You’re great. ‘S not your... fault...” They trailed off, lapsing back into unconsciousness, and Papyrus couldn’t help the fond smile that crossed his face. He was happy to have them in the family, even if he couldn’t always protect them.

That was the funny thing about their Frisk, they didn’t seem to  _ need  _ protection most of the time, even though they were a small child. Most children their age were in desperate need of protection, but something about Frisk had made them strong, even when they shouldn’t have had to be.

He was prouder of them than he could ever express.

He let them rest, carefully making his way out of the room. He had been trying so hard to control his volume around them, he had learned that children didn’t take particularly well to shouting, even if they sometimes had trouble controlling volume themselves. He didn’t want to cause them more pain than they’d clearly already suffered through. 

Moments passed in gentle silence, the distant sound of bedtime routines being carried out across the house. Minutes went by until everything went truly quiet, and still Frisk laid there, eyes shut tight, body limp as though they had never woken before.

There was the soft creak of a door opening and light filtered in, yet still Frisk didn’t stir. A quiet content sigh drifted through the room and the door shut, only to reopen moments later. This time the footsteps were heavier, more of a shuffle than the quiet padding of before, and the light remained for a good few minutes.

“rest easy, kid.” A voice mumbled, and the door shut once more. 

They sat still for a few moments, before finally, slowly, rising out of bed.  _ Save, if we get caught on the way back in we can just live with the memories.  _ Frisk grew more confused at that, but said nothing, feeling the familiar rush of determination flow through them. They hoisted themself up onto the windowsill, slipping out into the night unnoticed.

**Where are we going?** Frisk asked as the gravel crunched beneath their feet. There were woods nearby, not very thick, but enough that they were hidden from view of any nearby houses. Their nearest neighbours were at least half a mile away, not too far, but not so close that they’d get disturbed by the chaos of their household.

_Find somewhere you won’t be found. Where you can speak out loud and not get caught or questioned. And, above all, that you can flee from without difficulty._ **Why?!!** _Just do it!_ Frisk flinched at the demonic tone her voice took on, but said nothing, only hurrying their pace slightly. There was a clearing, just past the woods, and just beyond that were extensive hills, getting bigger and bigger until the valleys between them were so deep you couldn’t see the bottom from the peak even in broad daylight.

They began to sprint the second they reached grass, avoiding the twigs and bushes like they’d known the forest their whole life. They barely made a noise, and soon they found themself out of the woods, racing up to the top of the first hill, the smallest of them all.

They stared out at the plains and trees before them, the stars twinkling brightly in the sky, far enough away from the city that light pollution didn’t ruin it. If they looked closely, they could almost make out a galaxy. 

“Hi.” Chara said suddenly, appearing next to them. Frisk jumped, and she sighed. “Look, I’m not physical right now, so I can’t catch you. If you bust your skull, that’s on you.” Frisk looked down at their hands.

“Why...” They gathered their courage, while they didn’t feel particularly  _ safe  _ around Chara, nor did they trust her, but if they steeled their nerves they could make it through the conversation verbally, at least for now. “Why are we out here?” Chara sighed.

“We need to have a discussion. One that  _ cannot  _ be overheard, and if you make any noises, we can’t have someone hear it. If it brings up...  _ memories,  _ we can’t have that happen where someone can witness it. We’re not here to do something, that’s why it doesn’t matter if we have to load.” Frisk paused, looking up at them nervously. 

“What about?” Chara looked away, a distant look in their eyes. 

“...did you know about the rumors about Mount Ebott, before you fell?” Her back was to Frisk, expression out of sight. “Did you know-”

“That it was said no one ever returns?” Frisk looked away and Chara turned halfway to them, surprised. “That dangers lied ahead that I couldn’t possibly comprehend?” They couldn’t meet her eyes. “...that falling down that cave would probably kill me?” Chara’s eyes went wide.

“You fell on purpose?!” She exclaimed, and Frisk closed their eyes. “I  _ tripped,  _ I was running from my life and everyone in it and was hoping the ground would swallow me whole and even  _ I  _ **fell!** ” Frisk flinched at their shouting and they sighed. There was a moment of tense, uncomfortable silence. “Did you jump?” Frisk drew their knees to their chest.

“I didn’t jump.” They said quietly. “I let myself fall forwards. I didn’t jump.” They insisted. Chara stared. 

“Why?” It was a simple question, a single word that hovered for a moment, before seeming to burst. Frisk felt tears well up in their eyes, and Chara prepared themself to deal with a sobbing Frisk, but then they looked up, looking Chara right in the eyes with a resolute look.

_ No.  _ They thought determinedly, more to themself than Chara. Their face went cold, all emotion clearing from their face, and they stood up on shaky legs, determination flowing through them. They wouldn’t allow themself to break down, not in front of her. They wouldn’t be mocked again. 

“Frisk?” They began to march down the hill. “Frisk!” She called after them, not moving from where they floated midair, reaching out almost desperately. Frisk ignored her. “You can’t escape me, you know! Whenever you end up breaking down about this I’ll still be there to watch!” They called after them, growing frustrated. Frisk clenched their fists but said nothing, continuing towards the woods. Chara growled. 

“ _ Okay, fine!”  _ They shouted, and it echoed through the trees. Frisk paused, normally her voice couldn’t affect real things. They worried for a moment that someone had heard her, but there was no one around for a good while. “I won’t mock you if you cry, just come back here and tell me.” Frisk paused, glancing back at her. 

**And why should I trust you?** They asked, unwilling to sign and unable to speak. Chara sighed. 

“Because finding out  _ your  _ past wasn’t the only reason for this conversation. I... I know you’re curious about me.” They grew angry, glaring down at the ground. “It’s like... you think, if you know my past, you can  _ save  _ me.  _ I can’t be saved. _ _ Not today, not tomorrow,  _ _ not any time you worm,  _ **_because demons can’t be saved! ”_ ** Their voice had corrupted, growing more and more demonic and broken the longer they spoke. Likewise, their eyes had turned from red to black, inky and soulless, their mouth turned unnaturally. They sighed, forcing themself to calm down somewhat. “ _ I can’t be saved.  _ And I wish you would get it through your thick skull, but if this is what it takes to make you stop theorizing about it, then  _ fine.  _ But in exchange, you need to tell me your history, first.” Frisk stared back up at them, an unreadable expression on their face. Their hands relaxed and they climbed the hill once more, sitting down on the top as they stared out upon the forest.

They could save her. They knew they could. And if telling her about their past was what allowed them to do so, then... they were willing to do it. And, they supposed, it would be nice to have someone else who knew, even if that someone was already living inside their head. 

“My parents weren’t... nice.” They let out a small chuckle. “They didn’t really believe in Mercy, even when it came to small children. I... already had scars before the resets.” Chara’s arm darted out, grabbing Frisk’s and yanking it forwards. She hadn’t really grabbed them, instead taking control of Frisk’s arm and forcing it forwards, but it had the same effect. She tried to yank back the sleeve, but her hand just passed right through it. She groaned, but Frisk just sighed, obediently drawing back the sleeve. “I didn’t... cut... if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Chara looked their arm over thoroughly, before letting out a ‘hmph’, sitting back - though still mid air. “Fine. Continue..”

“I can still pick out the scars, amongst all the others.” Chara tilted her head, interested, but Frisk shook their head decisively. “I don’t want to show you.” Chara sighed, rolling their eyes, but not pressing it further. “They didn’t accept my identity. Both of them were alcoholics, too, I rarely saw them sober. I-” Their voice cut out and they sighed. *I was rarely at school* Chara paused at the sudden switch to sign. It meant she actually had to pay attention to them now, which they weren’t all too happy about, but she didn’t say anything. *Other kids didn’t like that I got to stay home so often, and the teachers pretended to be concerned, but they didn’t care*

“So you had a rough home life. What happened?” Chara said, and Frisk looked down at their lap defeatedly, a heartbroken expression on their face. Chara felt a twinge of regret but forced it away.

*I came out of my room without being instructed to. It was...* They trailed off, eyes unfocusing, and Chara gave an almost annoyed look, her eyes going wide.

“Hey-!”

**_SLAM._** _The sound reverberated throughout the house, and Frisk felt shivers trail down their spine. Mom was home early, and drunk again, no doubt. Dad was already screaming, it must’ve been one of_ ** _those_** _nights. There was shouting, screeching, banging, and the clear sound of blood being drawn. Frisk had only heard it get this bad once before._

_ That had been the night they learned to not use sign language towards an angry adult.  _

_ Still, they had to do something. They couldn't let their parents continue to get hurt, their parents didn’t deserve that. Even though Frisk wanted to shut everyone away, to never speak again in any way and just attack anyone who came near, they were defiant. They believed steadfastly that everyone deserved second, third, even tenth chances. They believed everyone had good in their heart. _

_ They would soon learn that not everyone was willing to accept that good.  _

_ They knew they were supposed to wait. To wait until one of them came and retrieved Frisk, and told them they were allowed to come out. But they couldn’t wait, not when they could help. Not when they could stop the danger. Quietly, carefully, they dragged themself off the floor, opening their door without a sound. They crept out, sneaking down the hallway and peeking around the corner. _

_ “She’s never going to be good enough! She won’t save this marriage!” Their mom screamed, tears streaming down her face. Their dad held up his broken bottle, rage clear on his face.  _

_ “Maybe she’ll save you from losing both your eyes!” He shouted, preparing to strike. Frisk ran forwards, letting out a whine as they held out their arms, standing between the two of them.  _

_ “Stop!” They called out, forcing themself to speak despite how agonizing it was. It was worse if they didn’t. Both of them froze, staring at the small child in front of them.  _

_ Horror-inducing expressions came to both of their faces. Frisk would never forget it. Their mother screeched, her too-long and broken fingernails bared like claws. _

_ “You ungrateful brat!” She brought her hand down, and the pain was unimaginable. It was (at the time) the worst thing they’d ever felt. A long gash was left, right there on their dominant arm, blood starting to pour out. _

_ “GO!” Their father roared, kicking at their small feet. They stumbled, coughing in pain. “ _ **_GO!_ ** _ ” He readied his foot to stomp on their back, ready to end it once and for all. _

_ Frisk scrambled to their feet, disappearing out the front door faster than they’d ever moved before. Something odd seemed to flow through them, different to the adrenaline they’d felt most of their life, instead seeming to burn them from the inside out. It was molten, and they nearly screamed, their legs carrying them farther and farther, until they were in the middle of the woods, tears streaming down their face.  _

_ Still, they didn’t stop moving, scurrying through the forest as they dodged around trees, eyes set on the mountain before them. Legends were told about it, stories and memories floating back to them. _

_ “No one ever returns.” Good.  _

_ “Children have disappeared there.” Just like they would.  _

_ “They’re never found again.” They didn’t want to be.  _

_ “The roots are so thick, you’d think there was an entire forest under the ground.” Maybe they could live in that forest, alone.  _

_ “There’s a cave, they say. The fall is fatal, and there’s no way out. They say you can’t even see the stars from the bottom, even on the clearest of nights.” They never wanted to see the stars again. _

_ Before they knew it they had made it halfway up the mountain, their mind a blur. They didn’t know when they’d had time to reuse an old bandage, covering their arm pitifully. Just a little farther, they told themself, just a little farther. They stumbled on a root but caught themself, steadying themself before they could fall. There, before them, was a small cave, so dark that they doubted anyone would hear them if they screamed when they hit the bottom. _

_ They didn’t want to die. That was why they had ran, wasn’t it? They didn’t want to die, they knew that. But they couldn’t stand the thought of continuing to live the way they were, couldn’t bear to imagine another moment past this point. One step, that was all it would take. One step, and they didn’t have to deal with their life anymore.  _

_ They closed their eyes, placing one foot on empty air, and they allowed themself to fall.  _

Frisk gasped, forcing themself out of the memory, and they were surprised to find Chara sitting in front of them, tears streaming down her face as they clutched her skull, nearly hyperventilating if it weren’t for the fact that they were a spirit. Her eyes snapped up to meet Frisk’s and instantly all emotion was wiped away, and she hovered an inch away from their face, a furious look in her eyes.

“ _ What was that?!”  _ They demanded and Frisk flinched back, sobbing silently. “I get it, reliving things, I really do! But forcing  _ me  _ into  _ your  _ memory? Flashing back just so I’d get the ‘full picture’?! What the fuck?!!” Frisk whimpered.

*It wasn’t on purpose* They signed desperately *I was trying to tell you but I couldn’t stay in the present* Their hands shook *I’m sorry*

Chara stared incredulously.

“No, no.” She looked away indignantly. “You can’t control that, god knows you can’t. And it’s not  _ your  _ fault that sharing your soul with me makes me remember with you. Well, technically it is, but I’ll let it slide.” Frisk stared, tears still streaming down their face. This was the closest thing to guilt and genuine concern for them that Frisk had ever seen from her. 

“Chara, I-” She whirled around, a furious look on her face. 

“Let’s just get back home, okay?! We can’t get caught again.” She snapped. Frisk fell silent, wordlessly getting to their feet and starting down the hill.

They didn’t comment on the fact that Chara stayed behind them, refusing to disappear into their head again. 

The woods were unusually quiet at this time of night, though cicadas and crickets still tried their best to be heard. Lizards scampered through the underbrush as birds cozied up in their nests, unfearful for the next day. If only Frisk could feel the same.

They snuck up to the window, glancing around for a moment before hoisting themself up once more, shifting on the windowsill until they were able to open it, and within moments they were back in bed, lying peacefully like nothing had happened. 

_ I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay?  _ Chara said as they drifted off, her voice unusually soft. Perhaps Frisk was already dreaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to make a few clarifications real quick:  
> 1\. I am not saying that people with selective mutism can just speak if they try hard enough, and I do not wish to downplay their experiences whatsoever. Frisk is able to, only because of the sheer determination they have, which will be a reoccurring theme in this fic  
> 2\. Chara and Frisk are not representative of D.I.D. or other personality disorders, since they are two separate people who now technically share the same body/soul.   
> Thank you guys for reading, and I hope you enjoy my story


	7. The Other Side Of The Coin

Frisk awoke with a start in the middle of the night, bolting upright suddenly. They looked around, they hadn’t had a nightmare, at least that they could remember, so why? They glanced at the clock, the bright, blocky red hurting their eyes in the darkness.  _ 3:47  _ glared up at them and they blinked, trying to figure out why they were awake. 

They stood, quietly padding over to the door, and when they heard no footsteps they cracked it open, slipping out the small space they’d created without a sound. They tiptoed through the hallway until finally, they realized what had woken them up.

Noise, almost like someone was struggling, was drifting through the hallway, so quiet they’d barely noticed. It was coming from...  _ Sans’ room.  _ His was right next to theirs, the noise must’ve made it through the wall while they were asleep, they were quite attentive to noise. They had to be.

They opened the door just a crack, just enough to see inside. Sans was writhing and squirming on his bed, clutching his head like he was in pain, groaning and hissing like he was in a fight. Frisk’s heart felt heavy, and they took a step forwards, reaching out a hand in worry.

_ You’ll only make it worse, you know.  _ Chara hissed, lurking in the back of their mind. They winced but did their best to ignore her, creeping forwards silently. They were close enough to Sans now that if he flailed his arm the wrong way he’d hit them, but they weren’t worried. They trusted Sans, despite everything. 

“stop it... leave them alone...” He mumbled, and Frisk felt a pang of guilt. They were about to reach out to him, when they noticed something that stopped them dead in their tracks.

His eyes - or eye sockets, rather - were shut tight, but even still, they could see the faint blue glow coming from underneath his left eyelid. They backed up, tears welling up in their eyes, they couldn’t do this, not again, they couldn’t-

_ Let me take over.  _ Chara said firmly. Frisk froze.  **No, I can’t-** _ Ugh, it’ll be just like the other night. I  _ **_know_ ** _ you hate this, but you can’t wake him up if you’re having a panic attack.  _ **No, no, I can calm down.** _ You can’t just-  _ Frisk paused, taking a deep breath and forcing the emotions down. They could have a breakdown once they got back to their room.  _ Emotional repression can’t be the solution to all of your problems.  _ **Not all of them, but this one.** Chara sighed, she knew she wasn’t winning this one.

“Sans.” Frisk said quietly, shaking his shoulder as gently as they could. “Sans.” They repeated. He thrashed and they were tempted to stand back so they wouldn’t get hurt, but they needed to wake their friend. “Sans please, wake up.” He bolted awake, a bone coming through the floor just as they did.

Right in the position to kill them.

Chara took over at the last second, snapping it in half with the knife they manifested, before quickly fading back into Frisk’s mind, knife going with her. Frisk was glad beyond relief that Sans’ eyes had still been shut when the knife had appeared.

“frisk?” He asked sleepily, blinking in the darkness. It took him a moment to realize his surroundings. He blanched when he noticed the broken attack, still sticking out of the floor. “what-?” Frisk stared at their feet.

“I tried to wake you from the nightmare but... you attacked me.” They said, their voice barely even a whisper. Sans stared at where it had been clearly snapped in half, though not very neatly, the other half having dissipated. “I reacted on instinct and deflected it.” They said even quieter. 

“oh...” He looked up, guilt clear in his eyes. “kid, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to-” Frisk shook their head.

“It’s okay. I should’ve known it would be dangerous to wake you.” Sans looked even more guilty at that. 

“no, frisk, i-” He shook his head “i can’t believe i attacked you. i’m sorry.” Frisk gave a watery smile. 

“It’s okay, it’s not like I haven’t dealt with worse.” Sans looked worried now, but they shook their head. “Do you need anything? That nightmare seemed... brutal.” Sans paused, glancing at them.

“How did you know it was a nightmare?” He asked, and Frisk looked him in the eyes. How could they answer that, at least, without him knowing how much they knew?

“I... have them myself.” They answered honestly.  _ Really??? Out of all the things you could have said??  _ Frisk ignored them. “I’m sorry.” They said.

“no, it’s not your fault.” He lied, feeling guilt eat away at him. The kid was genuinely trying to do better, but he couldn’t trust that this timeline would last. Not after he’d seen the sun before, only to have it ripped away again. He sighed. “i’ll be fine, you need your rest.” Still, Frisk didn’t move, fiddling with their sleeves. “kid?” 

“...I-” Everything was catching up to them now, and their voice was giving up on them. They sighed quietly. *Is there  _ anything  _ I can do to help?* They signed emphatically. Sans looked them in the eyes, eyelights small and dim, but still there. He sighed softly. 

“right now, the best thing would be to know that you’re not losing sleep over me. get some rest kid, i’ll be alright.” He said, and Frisk stared.  _ He’s probably having nightmares about  _ **_you_ ** _ , that’s why he wants you to leave.  _ **Then I’ll leave, he doesn’t deserve to suffer.** Chara would’ve blinked in surprise if they weren’t in Frisk’s head. They had been meaning to upset them, but instead she’d- 

*Goodnight, Sans. I hope you sleep well* They signed, padding quietly towards the door. Sans stared, if he hadn’t seen it, he wouldn’t have even known they’d left, their footsteps were  _ silent.  _

Welp, guess he wasn’t getting any sleep for a few more hours. 

Frisk settled back into bed, closing their eyes. Silence fell, and they let out a deep breath, feeling guilty, but still more at ease than they’d been in days. Chara hovered restlessly on the other side of the room, back turned to them. 

_ You didn’t correct me. _ She finally said, whispering into the air. Frisk didn’t appear to react, but Chara could feel the confusion.  **What do you mean?** _...I said he was having nightmares about  _ **_you._ ** _ But... you weren’t the one who killed him.  _ Frisk turned, facing the wall, their eyes still closed.  **But it was my body. It was, in almost every aspect,** **_me_ ** **. He couldn’t have known.**

Silence fell again, before realization coursed through her, and she shot up, rising a few feet in the air in shock.  _ Sans remembers loads.  _ Frisk blinked their eyes open, rolling over to face them.  **What?** _ He remembers reloads! He was able to count how many times we’d died to him! He remembered that we’d mercied him in the previous load!  _ **_He remembers reloads!_ ** Frisk felt a chill run down their spine.  **Not resets though. Not resets.** Chara nodded and they sighed in relief.  **We just have to be careful about reloading then. No wonder why he’s having nightmares then, even though he can’t remember the last run, having so many different memories from the last timeline makes him more likely to dream about it.**

_Don’t let him know you know._ _Don’t._ **I won’t.**

And with that mildly terrifying exchange, they finally drifted back off to sleep. 

They woke to their alarm for once, and Chara was already hovering on the other side of the room. At least they hadn’t had any nightmares, that was good. Still, last night had been a little too wild for their taste, they wanted to just relax today.

They got dressed quickly - it was a wonder how many different sweaters they had that looked almost exactly the same, though Toriel had both made and bought them quite a few more since they’d been living together. 

Within moments they were in the kitchen, smiling happily as though last night had been nothing more than an odd dream. Sans glanced at them once, but other than that showed no sign that he fully remembered last night.

He had gotten really good at hiding it, at least. That or the kid was a  _ really  _ good actor. 

Frisk helped Toriel make breakfast, quiet but happy as they worked together, the warmth of the kitchen making them realize just how much they felt at home with them. It was  _ home,  _ for once. Not just their house, not just where they lived, but  **_home._ ** They couldn’t be more grateful.

Breakfast passed in a blur, and soon enough they were heading their separate ways. Frisk had a few assignments to catch up on before the break ended - even though it was only Monday so they still had time - Toriel wanted to do some cleaning around the house, Papyrus was going to train with Undyne again, and Sans was planning on taking a long nap to make up for the lost sleep. 

“Remember, we have an official meeting later today with the city council.” Toriel called after Frisk as they left. Frisk nodded, smiling determinedly. They could put up with anything, for their family.

_ Yeah yeah, nice sentiment and all.  _ Frisk paused as they shut their door behind them, glancing at their desk. They really did need to get their schoolwork done, but something made them hesitate. Chara sighed. 

_ Look, I know you probably don’t care, but it was part of our deal last night. You told me your past - or, rather, showed me,  _ Chara let out an annoyed huff but brushed past it  _ so I’ll tell you mine. Or, you can focus on your schoolwork if you don’t care.  _ Frisk sat down at their desk but turned to face her, an open smile on their face. Chara stared for a moment before sighing, sitting back mid air.

**May I ask one question, before you start?** Chara glared, but nodded.  **How old are you? Or, at least, were you, before…** They trailed off but Chara understood.  _ I was 10.  _ Frisk smiled, and sat back to let her continue.

_ I didn’t exactly have the best homelife either. My parents weren’t nearly as bad as yours, but…  _ She looked pointedly away, refusing to meet their eyes.  _ Everyone around me was much,  _ **_much_ ** _ worse. Harassment was constant, and anger wasn’t really allowed. If you were angry, you were killed.  _ Frisk blinked in surprise, but they supposed it wasn’t too much of a shock. Chara had lived at least a hundred years before they had fallen, probably more. 

_ So I couldn’t lash out at anyone. Eventually, I took a knife from my kitchen, threatened a classmate, and ran. I fell down and Asriel found me. He brought me to Toriel and Asgore - did you ever realize his name was just a mix of their names?  _ Frisk let out a gentle laugh, nodding.  _ Anyways, they took me in, caring for me like I was their actual child. _

_ I almost killed dad, once. It wasn’t on purpose, I didn’t realize buttercups were poisonous. I learned well though…  _ She shook her head, bringing herself back to focus.  _ I was with them for 2 years, but I realized they weren’t happy underground. I wanted to help them be free, even if I hated humanity.  _

_ They needed a human and monster soul to cross the barrier. Asriel and I were just that. I ate some buttercups and he promised he’d take me over the barrier, he’d claim 6 more souls, and the barrier would be broken.  _ She looked away, her voice growing softer.  _ He was always too much of a crybaby for his own good.  _ Despite the supposed spite in her words, she was near crying, small shudders wracking their body as they tried to continue. Frisk felt a pang of sympathy in their heart.

_ He couldn’t do it. They attacked him, they  _ **_killed_ ** _ him, and still, he didn’t fight back. He couldn’t, he said. He made it back through the barrier just in time to die on the buttercups. Right back where it had started. _

_ We died together. Our souls shattered, dust and blood coating the flowers. They couldn’t harness my soul, it shattered too quickly and they didn’t have anything to hold it. Yet still, my spirit existed. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but still, because it was alive, in some small way,  _ I  _ was alive.  _

_ I was a soulless husk. I’d never had the power to reset, I had never been determined enough. Anger and determination aren’t the same thing. The other kids were close, some of them could even save, but none of them could reset. It was harder to sway them, because of that.  _

_ I’m a demon. I can’t really feel things anymore. All I knew was that monsters were too stupid to realize what was right in front of them. They wanted to be free, to reach the surface where horrible humanity laid waiting to kill them. Asriel had given me hope for monsterkind, but that hope had died with him, with us.  _

_ A few of the kids gained LOVE. Not much, only a few Froggits or Whimsuns, maybe even a few bigger monsters, but enough that I felt powerful. I felt in control, I felt  _ **strong.** __

_ Then you fell. I couldn’t do much of anything, none of the other kids could even hear me, really, though they could sense me, I think. Maybe subconsciously they knew what I was saying, but they didn’t know I was there. But you,  _ **_you_ ** _ were full of determination. I’d only been able to sense it since I died, but you had so much determination that reality bent for you. A save was easy, a reload could happen any time, not just at death. _

_ And you could reset time, over and over again, as many times as you wanted. I’d known Flowey could do that, but that was because he was injected with determination, pure determination, and since he didn’t have a soul he couldn’t melt like the other monsters would. But he’d lost his ability when you’d fallen, he wasn’t in control anymore. _

_ You didn’t even have determination until you were on the mountain. I could tell someone was approaching, but there was no determination inside you. Then, a small flicker, a flame trying to light. A spark, and then it ignited, and you didn’t even realize. Soon it was like a supernova, right as you were falling. You were strong, and I latched onto it.  _

Frisk was listening raptly, enthralled as they listened. Chara was still facing away, too caught up in their own recounting of the past to notice the awed look on their face. 

_ You saved, and you shuddered at the feeling, determination too strong for you to handle. I whispered, and you looked up, searching for the voice. You could hear me, but you couldn’t see me.  _ Frisk remembered, now, the beginning, before they’d realized who the voice was. Before they’d realized it was even really a person.

_ I told you to fight back, and you did. The monster shattered into dust, and you cried, and suddenly we were back to moments before. You didn’t want to fight anymore. _

_ Then Toriel attacked you. A motherly figure, turning on you with magic and fire. And something in you snapped. You took out your measly stick and you fought with everything you had. You screamed and tore and fought until she was dust. And then you sat there and cried at the loss, and when I whispered that you could fix it, you did. _

_ I was growing stronger. Every time you listened to me, I became bound to you more and more. Every time you broke, every time you snapped and hurt someone, I gained more presence. _

_ I realize now that you were reliving trauma. If you had been in control, you never would’ve hurt them.  _ Frisk’s eyes went wide. To hear that reassurance, so casual and calm, from  _ Chara,  _ of all people… Tears welled up in their eyes.

For so long they’d felt guilt over those moments where they’d lost control. Eventually they’d started blaming it on Chara, but that didn’t feel right. It had been before she’d had control, after all. But to know that Chara understood, it meant more to them than they could ever say.

Still, they let her continue.

_ But I didn’t then, and I didn’t care, either. Finally, you made one mistake that you couldn’t undo, that you couldn’t reload to fix. You killed Asgore, and all the human souls went free as you crossed the barrier. You couldn’t fix it, and for a moment, you went to a plane of existence that I had resided on for years until you fell. _

_ I offered you a deal. Let me take control, and I could fix it. You didn’t know you could reset on your own. You didn’t know, but I did. I gave you a fake smile and a helping hand, and you took it. You lost part of yourself to me, and I had control again. _

_ I think that run was the hardest, for both of us. You let me take control fully, and I let out all the rage I still held. There was no one left, and we were strong. You fought so hard to take back control, but my rage beat out your determination, just that once. You blacked out quite a few times, when it got too much. You didn’t remember the deaths to Sans, that first time, nor the murder of Asgore, or Flowey, or Papyrus, or anyone you held dear. You couldn’t take it, so you didn’t remember. _

_ That was when I offered you an  _ actual  _ deal. To return to the world we had  _ **_erased_ ** _ , you would give anything. You would give your SOUL.  _

_ Well, from that point, you mostly knew the rest. When I would command, you would give in. Or I would shatter your soul and force you to try again. We tried everything,  _ **_everything_ ** _ , until we had seen everything there was to see. Every small choice, every tiny, minuscule decision, we tried over and over again until we saw every possibility, and it took us years. _

_ Sometimes you fought me. You gained control and went through a peaceful run, you made it to the surface. But I wouldn’t let that last. You may have been the most determined person to ever live, but I was a demon, and your soul belonged to me.  _

Frisk thought she was done. They’d reached the point where it was both of their pasts, and Frisk was there for everything they were talking about now. But Chara still had something to say. 

_ Until last run. You defied me. We had already done that run, of course, several times over, with small changes, but you had had enough. I wanted to see the end, see the final result, before we went back one final time to determine what we would live with, for the rest of our lives. But your determination had returned in full. You raged against me, you fought me with anger I’ve never seen from you, never before, and never again after. _

_ You ended the Fight, something that normally, only the person starting it could do. You broke the rules with your determination. Right when we were about to win, you forced us to reset. _

_I didn’t know what it was like to have the control ripped away like that, even as I fought. I didn’t want it to ever happen again. But…_ she trailed off for a moment, a distant look in her eyes. _At the same time, I knew that that was what it felt like every time I did it to you. Probably worse, even, since it was_ **your** _soul. So instead of fighting it, I just gave you one final goal, that we’d never done before._

_ You didn’t let that become permanent. You reloaded after he found out, just in case, but still. It was decided, and we were done. You were the one in control, and I was just a pesky demon who couldn’t fully control you anymore. _

Frisk waited, listening intently to see if she’d continue, but she was done, and it seemed she didn’t want to say anything anymore. Frisk supposed that was fair, she’d said a  _ lot,  _ more than she’d ever said in one conversation before, in fact. But still, they had one more question.

**Do you know why I can only reset to right after I fell?** They asked tentatively. Chara blinked, spinning around to face them. She sighed.  _ You’re able to reset to the exact moment you gained the ability  _ to  _ reset, from when your determination finally grew strong enough. _

_ The same thing happened with Flowey. It took him a while for the determination to fully kick in, and only when it finally did, was he able to reset, to the exact moment he gained the ability.  _

**Oh.** Chara rolled their eyes, looking away. Frisk stood silently, quiet enough that even Chara didn’t notice. They paused for a moment, hesitating, but they made up their mind. 

Within the blink of an eye they leaned forwards, hugging Chara to the best of their ability. It was strange, considering they could only vaguely feel her - could even phase through her if they wanted - but they tried their best to embrace her.

Chara’s eyes went wide as they stared down at Frisk, shock coursing through them. After all that, after they’d explained all the horrible things they’d done, Frisk wanted to  _ hug them?  _ Their eyes were clenched shut, a sympathetic expression on their face, and Chara could only stare. 

They didn’t return the embrace, but at the same time… they didn’t move away, either. They couldn’t really feel it, not unless they gained physical form, but still, though they’d never admit it… it felt nice.

“I don’t know what you were before you shared my soul,” Frisk admitted, their voice quiet, almost inaudible “But I know that, now, you are more than just a demon.” Chara wanted to glare, to hiss and say that they were wrong and how dare they try to pretend they were anything close to what they used to be. But they were tired, and what was the point, anyways? They’d never convince Frisk, not without taking them over and using the reset with their consent, or something even more drastic, somehow.

And what was the point in that?


	8. A New Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I would like to make another quick clarification/apology  
> When I first started writing this fic, I had seen Chara depicted as using she/her pronouns in practically every work I'd seen, so I assumed it was canon. I wrote a good 75% of what I have written now (which is roughly 110,00 words) under that presumption, and as such I wrote Chara as a demigirl who used she/they pronouns. I'm going to keep it this way for the remainder of the fic, but I just wanted to acknowledge that they canonically are referred to with they/them pronouns, and it was not my intention to purposefully disregard that.   
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you still enjoy the fic

Weeks passed, and Frisk returned to school. They were thankful, it was a different school than the one they’d gone to before they’d ran away, meaning no one had recognized or remembered them. And with their name plastered all over the news, no one would try to find out their ‘real name’, or whatever bullshit excuse they would use to misgender them.

Nothing was too odd, though Frisk was grateful that they offered a few virtual learning options. It was hard for them to maintain a proper school career when they were being whisked away to various important meetings regarding the fate of an entire race. 

They’d wanted to join some of the clubs, for the first time in their life, but they were still adjusting to all of the new people, and no one there knew  _ them, _ other than what they’d seen on the news. Some of them were mean, but most of them were curious, silently watching, observing them as though they were unsure how to react.

As if they didn’t know whether they were safe or not. 

_ At least,  _ Chara said, hovering next to them in class one day,  _ your pronouns are all over the news. If someone misgenders you then they’re doing it on purpose, it isn’t just a mistake.  _ Frisk sighed, staring down at their test.  **You’d think, after all those resets, I’d know a little more about history.** Chara stared, a confused look on their face.  _ What do you mean? I remember that happening when I was-  _ She paused, shock lighting up their eyes.  _ Oh, shit, I guess I’ve been dead for what, 400 years? Wow. Anyways, the answer is C.  _ Frisk was surprised. While they weren’t exactly sure how they felt about cheating, at least they knew a definitive time range for when Chara had been alive.

They’d love to learn more history from her, if she’d allow it. It would be wonderful to learn more about history - human history - from someone who had been alive for it. Monster history was easier to get direct sources from, but most of the past on the surface remained a mystery to them. Resets in the underground didn't give much insight on that. 

**When did the war start?** Frisk asked as they stood up to turn in their test. Chara paused.  _ I don’t really know. When I fell, it had been apparently already ‘over’ for at least a thousand years, probably more. I never really asked.  _ **Fair enough.**

The day passed in a blur, and soon enough they were back home. Toriel picked them up most days, but today she was attending a scientific presentation Alphys was giving, and she trusted them to walk home. It wasn’t too far, just a little over a mile, and they’d walked much longer distances on their own.

From their old house to the mountain had been at least 6 miles, and they’d made it there in minutes, so a simple walk to their home wasn’t anything, really. They pretended they weren’t bothered by the old memory, brushing it aside. 

Sans was there to greet them when they got home, though he was napping on the front porch. The heat of summer was approaching quickly, and for someone who’d spent his entire life in winter, he was already visibly sweating. How a skeleton was able to sweat, Frisk didn’t know, and they didn’t really question it. 

He’d never made it to the summer. The longest they’d gone at the end of a run had been a month, and that hadn’t been a full pacifist run, so they hadn’t made it to the surface. He had no clue what real summer heat felt like, they realized. They giggled quietly to themself, it would sure be a trip for him when he realized.

They walked up quietly, trying not to wake him from his nap. They smiled brightly, looking at him fully as they reached for the door. It was then that they froze.

His eyes shut tight, light snores escaping him as sweat dripped down his skull. It was a sight they’d seen before, but never so peacefully. Never had it been happy. Chara paused, glancing between the two of them with a wide-eyed look, not daring to say a word.

Frisk let out a deep breath, blinking resolutely. Just because they had bad memories didn’t mean that their present had to be ruined. They smiled again, glad that he was getting rest; they didn’t know how often he had nightmares, but if it was anywhere near as frequently as they did, then he wasn’t getting  _ nearly  _ enough sleep

They opened the door, slipping inside silently, not noticing as Sans sat up tiredly.

He stared as the door shut without a sound. He’d promised Toriel he’d stay outside until the kid got home, that he wouldn’t go inside no matter what until he saw them. If that was them, he’d be waiting for hours until Toriel either got home or until they decided to check on him. But, if that  _ wasn’t  _ them, Toriel would kill him, even if she had no way to know. 

He sighed, closing his eyes as he let his magic search. He could sense any souls nearby - pretty much any monster could, but he was particularly good at sensing the strength and emotions of any nearby souls, as well as their determination. Sure enough, from inside was the pulse of a soul more determined than any other he’d encountered - and he’d encountered  _ hundreds  _ of humans in the months since they’d reached the surface.

Frisk could feel something strange, like they were being searched. They gripped their chest nervously, if someone was viewing their soul it was rarely good, it usually only happened moments before a fight started. And the magic was undoubtedly strong, even if it was purposefully being gentle. It released them and they sighed heavily in relief, and seconds later the door opened, revealing a tired yet very relieved Sans, smiling at them like nothing had happened.

He must’ve been checking to see if they were okay, they decided, and they let it be. No use dwelling on something so trivial, no matter how horrible it had felt in the moment. He cared about them, and that was what mattered.  _ Or he was deciding if it was worth it to fight you.  _ Chara added in a mockingly helpful tone. Frisk ignored them. 

“Hey Sans! I would’ve woken you but I didn’t want to disturb you when you looked so peaceful.” They said, smiling up at him. He grinned, a grateful expression on his face.

To know the kid had slipped right past him while he was asleep… He forced the thought aside, they hadn’t done anything and they weren’t going to.

“thanks kiddo, i appreciate it.” They set their backpack down with a thud, flopping onto the couch. 

“Mom still at Alphys’ presentation?” They asked, though they knew the answer was obvious. He nodded. “Wish I could’ve gone.” He chuckled.

“yeah, but you miss enough school already. and she would’ve killed me if i snuck you out.” They grinned up at him, thankful for the sentiment. They knew he’d never really show up at their school just to sneak them out, but they appreciated it nonetheless. 

“Eh, I’d make it up eventually.” Chara rolled her eyes, they were still a normal kid in that aspect at least.

“sure you would kid. but anyways, you have another meeting later anyways, pretty much as soon as she gets home she’s taking you out to the city.” Frisk groaned, they’d had one only a few days ago, what was so important that it couldn’t wait until the next weekly meeting? 

“Ugh, of course.” Sans grinned, at least the kid was like him in that aspect; going out all the time must’ve been tiring beyond belief for them. “Come with us?” They asked, and he blinked in surprise.

“i mean, i don’t really serve a purpose there kiddo. i’m just lazy, joker sans. not exactly professional material.” He said, and he meant it. Frisk was the ambassador - obviously - Toriel and Asgore were the former Queen and King, respectively, Alphys was the Royal Scientist, Undyne was the head of the Royal Guard, and Papyrus served as a bodyguard and moral support. He didn’t really have a place amongst them, not at the meetings, anyways. Frisk frowned.

“But that’s why you’d be  _ perfect. _ ” His eyes went wide, but they weren’t done. “Everyone else is some sort of professional, some high rank or at least acts like it. It kinda gives the impression that all monsters are fully professional, which makes it harder for them to see you guys as ‘normal’.” He stared, still unsure. Frisk sighed. “And even if that weren’t the case, I want you there. You’re my friend, and I don’t like just leaving you alone every time we go out. You always have a place with us, even if you don’t think you do.” They said earnestly, and Sans blanched.

That hit a little too close to home - he guessed the kid had gotten good at reading people over the, what, 3 years of resets? He shook the thoughts away, that wasn’t fair to the kid, they were trying to help. 

“eh, i mean, you still don’t really need me there. you seem to be doing a great job of convincing them anyways.” Frisk only stared, a sad look on their face. They wouldn’t force him if he really didn’t want to go, but they had seen the glimmer of hope in his eyes, and they weren’t going to give up on him just because he pushed them away. 

They’d seen the tactic too many times - had used it themself too much to let him push them away. Sans held their gaze, and he slowly felt guilt eating away at him. He didn’t want to impose on them, he knew he probably wasn’t wanted, at least, by anyone there except Frisk, but the kid looked almost… heartbroken, at his refusal. They said nothing, but he could see the near desperation in their eyes. An almost guilty look, like they felt they were pushing him too far, yet they still wanted him to come. An invitation in their expression that he hadn’t seen in god knows how long.

He sighed, giving them a tired smile. “alright, if it means so much to you, i’ll go. but you’re not gonna make me act professional, got it?” He said, his tone light. Frisk’s face lit up, and they smiled like he’d given them the world. He couldn’t help but grin back at them, feeling a flicker of joy at the sheer delight in their expression. 

He supposed he should at least put on a clean shirt, if it meant so much to the kid. They reached into their backpack, pulling out their homework so they wouldn’t have to worry about it afterwards, and he took that as permission to leave, disappearing into his room to change. 

Two hours passed and finally Toriel arrived home, Alphys, Undyne, and Papyrus in tow. She came inside with a gentle smile yet a frantic look in her eyes as she almost obsessively checked the time. She sighed in relief when she saw Frisk on the couch, glad that they had at least made it home safe.  _ Wow, you can cause panic without even trying, I’m almost jealous.  _ Frisk rolled their eyes mentally, ignoring her as they stood up, putting away their work. 

They had everything they needed; their jacket, their cell phone, their binder - full of all the notes they kept on what happened during the conference - and they had never taken their shoes off, so they didn’t really need to get ready. Asgore would meet them there, and they could see Papyrus in the front seat, Undyne and Alphys sitting so close together they barely took up one seat in the back, despite there being a whole other row of seats behind them, leaving plenty of room for them all to fit.

“Are you ready to go, my child?” She asked, and they nodded, getting to their feet with a bright grin.

“Yep! Let me go get Sans!” They said, moving to retrieve him. Toriel smiled in confusion.

“Is he joining us today? I didn’t think he liked these gatherings.” Frisk nodded, darting off and knocking on Sans’ door.

“alright, alright, i hear you, no need to break my door.” He opened the door, grinning tiredly down at the kid. Toriel smiled nervously and they headed out, packing themselves into the car. 

“Ooh, mom, can I play music again?” Frisk asked as they began to drive away. They’d finally learned how to pair their phone with the car and had excitedly been playing music at any chance they got. Toriel nodded, focusing mostly on the road, and soon enough they were on their way, music playing not too loud but not too quiet, smiles on all of their faces.

Soon enough they arrived, cameras waiting eagerly outside the doors. They had banned press from inside the conference after an... incident, but they couldn’t do much about them waiting outside to watch those who arrived and left. Frisk played their part, smiling warmly and waving at the cameras, while Toriel looked as regal as she could. Asgore smiled nervously at them, while Undyne gave a toothy grin, menacing and welcoming all at once.

Papyrus was waving excitedly, trying his best not to startle them as he had at first. He practically radiated happiness, and he stood proud, glad to be there with his friends. Alphys was fidgeting with her hands, looking around anxiously, though she tried to keep a smile on her face. Sans simply played along, his signature grin in place as he walked in like he lived there.

Like he wasn’t terrified beyond belief.

He was frustrated at himself. He’d been through  _ countless  _ timelines, had watched everyone he loved get murdered hundreds of times, had fought a murderous demon of a child and  _ lost  _ more times than he could count. So why, now, of all times, was he suddenly nervous? Afraid of the outcomes? 

Because - this was it. The kid wasn’t going to reset if he fucked up this meeting, they’d just be disappointed in him. They weren’t going to start an entire timeline over because of one meeting, not after almost four months now on the surface. Consequences suddenly mattered again, and even though it wasn’t vital, he  _ really  _ didn’t want to mess this up.

Not just for his sake, but for his friends, his  _ family _ ’s sake. For the kid’s sake, even. And it was strange, and new, and he was afraid. But he could keep up his smile, keep up his relaxed air and careless manner, because he couldn’t let anyone know.

He didn’t want to find out what it was like to have someone with the power of practically a god to learn about his weaknesses, in any way.

The doors shut dramatically behind them, and instantly attention was turned to the group. Eyes searched him, murmurs about who the new person was echoing in his ears, but he ignored it, looking to the kid with a relaxed grin.

“guess this is a real  _ press _ -ing matter, huh?” He asked, and they let out a small giggle. Instantly he noticed the relief flitting around through the dozens of people watching. Had his joke really put them all at ease? Or was it the kid’s easy reaction? “wow, there’s a ton of people here. a-” Papyrus shot him a glare, a warning look in his eyes. “ _ skele _ -ton.” Papyrus groaned, while Toriel let out a quiet laugh.

“Sans! This is important, can you quiet your incessant puns for once!” He exclaimed, and Sans noticed the smiles on the faces of almost everyone around them. Some were annoyed, like Papyrus, but there seemed to be no ill-will. Maybe the kid was right after all.

“are my jokes not  _ meeting  _ your standards?” He asked, and Papyrus gave him one last furious glance before walking to the other side of the group, refusing to stand near him. Sans just chuckled, he supposed he should go easy on him, they were at a rather important conference after all. Jokes could be made later, much to his brother’s annoyance.

“Who are you?” Someone asked, appearing in front of him in the blink of an eye. He didn’t flinch, looking to the man with a curious look. 

“sans, sans the skeleton. and you are?” The man glared at him suspiciously.

“Robert Allison, Head of the Department of Safety And Welfare in Ebott City.” He turned to Frisk. “Care to explain?” Frisk stared defiantly up at him.

“Sans is family, and he’s smarter than he likes to pretend. He deserves to be here as much as any of us.” They said, leaving no room for argument in their voice. He stared down at them for a moment, before letting out a tired sigh, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever. But if he causes problems, he’s  _ leaving.”  _ Frisk nodded, and the man went back to his seat. And with that, the meeting began.


	9. Nightmarish Realities

The conference went much more smoothly than Sans expected, but he supposed anything could happen when it came to the kid. There were a few minor hiccups, but with the kid’s determination, they were barely pebbles on the road, nothing lasting. Frisk was much wiser than they let on, speaking with the experience of a leader, the wisdom of someone who had already dealt with worse conflict, and the critical thinking of someone who had made harder decisions much more swiftly countless times before.

He supposed the kid was fit for this role, after having so much time to think about what they would do when they finally got here, countless timelines to plan exactly what they would say, what arguments they would use. At least, this time around, they didn’t seem to plan on abandoning this timeline any time soon.

Then again, Sans had never been the best judge on when they would reset, it was too finicky in the beginning, loads and resets confusing him beyond belief. When he’d finally gotten a grasp on what made the kid do some of the things they did, they changed like a switch had been flipped, and he’d had to learn their motivations all over again. He didn’t trust this would last, and he couldn’t afford to have his heart broken again.

He couldn’t afford to hope, because if it was broken, there was no telling if he’d survive. 

He shook the thought away vehemently, there was no point in thinking like that. Plus, the kid seemed to be trying so hard to get everything right, to make everything perfect this time around, as though they wouldn’t be able to just fix it if they didn’t get it right. As though they’d almost...  _ lost  _ the ability somehow. But they hadn’t, he knew they hadn’t, because he could still feel it. He could sense the ability, residing, lurking, hiding away in the depths of their abilities but still there. It wasn’t gone - he didn’t think it could ever, truly, be gone, but he had no way to know that.

Not without asking, and he already knew that wasn’t an option.

Regardless, they were now back in the car, on their way home. They’d reached a decision and there’d been barely any actual fighting, the most being banter that wasn’t entirely serious - he may have participated in that, but that wasn’t important - and everyone went home happily.

Toriel made them all a celebratory dinner, and they chattered happily as they ate, filling the kitchen with sounds of, undoubtedly,  _ family.  _ Frisk couldn’t be happier, sitting there, eating a home cooked meal with the people they loved.

It had taken way too long, they knew. If only they hadn’t messed up so badly that first time, they would never have had to go through with all of…  _ that.  _ But still, with laughter echoing through the kitchen, warm smiles all around, it almost felt worth it, if it meant that they got to have a home, a family, and a life they loved, despite its hardships.

_ Despite me haunting you.  _ Frisk’s smile didn’t waver, no sign of the intrusion on their face.  **No, not in spite of it. Even though you’ve hurt me a lot, you’ve also genuinely helped me, from the beginning. I couldn’t have had this life without you, regrets or not.** Chara growled.

_ You can’t just erase everything I’ve done. Everything we’ve done! We’ve killed them all, countless times! We’ve ripped happy endings right out of their grasp! We’ve played god and decided who lived and who died! You can’t just pretend that it didn’t happen, that it’s  _ **redeemable** _ just because you’re happy  _ **_now_ ** _!  _ Frisk sighed.

**You’re right. I can’t. But I’m not. Despite how I act, I’m still** **_furious_ ** **at you for everything you’ve done. For everything you’ve made me do.** Chara slumped back further into their mind at that, genuine shock coursing through them for a moment.  **But I can’t change that. I can’t fix the past, because it’s not something you can undo. We can never really undo what we’ve done, only create a new world where we don’t do it again. And I’m done living in the same stretch of time. I’m done worrying about everything that happened back then.**

**And this is our life now. You’re a part of me, whether I like it or not. So I might as well learn to live and be happy with it rather than dwell on the past and hate you, hate** **_myself_ ** **, for something I can’t control.**

**You can be miserable. You can hate this new life and scream at me all you want. I can’t make you accept this. But I am** **_not_ ** **going to let you make me hate this too. We found a life where we can finally be happy. It’s up to you whether or not you accept that happiness.**

Chara sat, shocked. She didn’t know what to say, how were they supposed to react to that? She wanted to be angry, furious even, to scream and shout and yell until both of their ears bled and they admitted that they hated her. But part of them knew, Frisk was right. They couldn’t make her accept it, but she couldn’t make them hate it, either. There was no use in fighting anymore.

Chara made a choice, for the first time in their life. It wouldn’t be permanent, and it was not a complete change of who she was. But, for once, instead of fighting,

She spared Frisk the anger, disappearing into their mind completely, falling silent for the first time in years.

Dinner continued without a hitch, and as the sun disappeared behind the horizon peace fell over the house. Toriel was off doing laundry, leaving just the three of them in the living room. Papyrus beamed down at them, an excited gleam in his eyes.

“So, what do you want to do now?” He asked, and Frisk gave a mischievous grin.

“How about I climb to the roof!” They said, making a break for the door. Sans shortcutted in front of them, an almost proud yet still disapproving smile on his face.

“hold on a moment there kiddo.” Frisk pouted playfully. “you can’t just climb every tall thing you see.” They stuck out their tongue.

“Watch me.” Sans was fully prepared to stop them from leaving, but he wasn’t expecting them to turn around and hoist themself onto Papyrus’ shoulder. Papyrus stared for a moment before bursting out in laughter, Sans beginning to chuckle as well. 

“alright, you got me.” Sans said, smiling up at them. Even though he was taller than Frisk, Papyrus still towered over him as well, nearly 7 feet tall, meanwhile he was barely 4’9”. “really though kid, you-” He was taken by surprise as Frisk launched themself off of Papyrus’ shoulders, landing behind Sans and sprinting out the front door in the blink of an eye. 

“Frisk!” Papyrus shouted, racing after them, while Sans simply shortcutted outside, too tired to bother giving chase. By the time he made it outside - which took less than 5 seconds, mind you - Frisk had already begun to climb the siding, higher than Papyrus’ head and reaching further. 

“kid, don’t make us come get you. i don’t think any of us would like that.” Sans said seriously. Normally Papyrus would’ve just yanked them off with magic by now, but after they’d learned what blue soul magic did to them, they were hesitant to try it out. It hurt a little though, to see the kid abusing that care they had for them by using it to break the rules. 

Frisk glanced down at them both, confused, before realization set in. Horror flashed in their eyes and they jumped down, ignoring the terrified shouts the brothers let out, landing easily with a soft thump as they hit the grass. They stared at the ground, guilt clear in their eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I forgot…” They trailed off, not wanting to say it. Sans stepped forwards, worry in his eyes. 

“forgot what?” He asked, and Frisk bit their lip, refusing to meet his eyes. 

*I forgot you knew* They signed, looking away. *I expected…* They trailed off again, and it took Papyrus giving them a concerned look to get them to continue. *I expected you guys to just… do it anyways. I would’ve been fine, this time, since I wasn’t already panicking. I didn’t realize you knew…* That hurt them both more than either of them cared to admit.

The kid honestly thought that, despite knowing it hurt them, brought back horrible memories and made them feel like they were  _ dying,  _ that they’d still use that magic against them, just to enforce the rules? Just so they couldn’t do something only mildly dangerous anyways, considering it was clear the kid could handle it?

It was like… like the kid didn’t think they would respect them, like they didn’t  _ expect  _ them to care, like they were okay if they did it anyways even after telling them that it wasn’t okay. Sans couldn’t tell which implication hurt more; that Frisk thought so little of them both that they expected to get hurt, or that they’d been hurt and disrespected so many times that it became the expectation for them of anyone they trusted.

“Frisk,” Papyrus said gently, but still they didn’t meet his eyes. “Please, look at me.” Their gaze slowly trailed up, guilt written clear across their face as they hesitantly met his eyes. “We would never do that to you. You trusted us with something that hurts you, we would never go against that and purposefully cause you pain.” He said, and tears welled up in their eyes.

“ _ I know.”  _ They whispered. “That’s the thing. I  _ know  _ you would never do that, neither of you would. I didn’t expect you to do it on purpose.” They said, looking away again.

“let’s just go inside. we all need our rest after today.” Frisk glanced up at him, an almost hopeful look in their eyes. He tried to ignore it. “plus, you still have school tomorrow. can’t have you staying up on a school night.” Frisk smiled gratefully, and they all headed inside.

_Frisk._ Chara said as they got ready for bed. Frisk ignored them. _Friiiisk._ Still, no response. **_Frisk!_** **Ugh, fine, what do you want?** Chara still wasn’t used to this, the anger that Frisk held for them, that they’d hid so well for so long. They’d almost repressed it, even in the worst runs, but now that they were safe, it was starting to slowly seep out. She was more than a little unnerved, seeing the pacifist genuinely angry, not just harboring her rage instead. _You didn’t save today._ Frisk sighed, walking over to the glowing star. **There, happy?** _Yes._

With that out of the way they slipped into bed, closing their eyes resolutely and ignoring any attempt at conversation that Chara started.  _ Hmph, fine.  _ She didn’t want to talk to them anyways, she told themself. 

Frisk drifted off rather quickly, but Chara soon got bored of just floating over ‘their’ bed, and after an hour of nothingness they finally groaned, floating over to Frisk’s side of the room. She stared down at the sleeping child, technically one year older than her, and glared, poking their head through the wall instead.

Sans was sleeping somewhat peacefully on the other side, for once not plagued by his usual nightmares.  _ I can change that.  _ She thought, leaning down. Their legs were still on the other side of the wall, but it didn’t really matter. She could phase through whatever she wanted, who cared if it looked weird? No one could see it anyways.

They swirled their hands around Sans' head, closing her eyes with a demonic smile as a faint red glow emerged in the room, coating Sans with an almost bloody aura. She chanted under her breath, darkness gathering, and soon enough he would be having another nightmare about their wicked deeds. They reached down to his skull, about to put the final piece in place, when suddenly they were drawn back, a whimper through the wall their only warning before they were thrown into one of Frisk’s nightmares.

Dragging Sans along with them.

_ This is interesting.  _ She thought quietly. Both of them were having a nightmare. The same nightmare, in fact, just from different perspectives. But instead of two, separate nightmares that were similar, they were in one shared mindscape. The same plane of existence. Whatever they did, would entirely shape the other’s dream, because it  _ was  _ the other’s dream.

The other’s nightmare, really. Finally there for them both to witness each other’s worst moments. She sat back, shocked and a little concerned, this hadn’t been their intent, after all, but she might as well watch it go down. So with that thought they took a back seat, simply along for the ride.

**_Please, no!_ ** _ Frisk thought desperately, glancing around at the judgment hall. They were on their knees, knife in hand and dust swirling behind them, blood dripping from their mouth. Sans towered over them, a cruel smile on his face, his eye lights gone entirely. They let out a gentle sob before being yanked to their feet, their body moving against their will.  _ _ Go on. _ _ She urged.  _ _ Kill the comedian. _ __

_ “No, please, no.” They begged, and Sans glanced at them curiously, his smile holding no joy anymore, only contempt and cold finality. _

_ “what? did killing everyone get you down?” He asked, and tears streamed down their face. Their arm jerked forwards, marking their attack, but he dodged easily. It was his turn, now.  _

_ Blasters appeared all around them, fire and incineration narrowly avoiding them as they leapt over bones, already slick with blood. The tears were falling faster now, but they managed to dodge, just barely managed to escape death. _

_ “I didn’t want to!” They screamed, finally landing again. They fell to their knees, sobbing. “I didn’t want to.” Sans stared at them. _

_ Well. _

_ This was certainly a new approach. He’d heard thousands of excuses from their lips, but this? This was new. New in a dangerous way, in a way he almost wanted to believe. In a way so genuine that either they were telling the truth, or they were really the most heartless person to ever exist.  _

_ “sure you didn’t. that’s why you murdered everyone and then reset to do it all over again.” Frisk flinched at the word reset, and his glare hardened. “what, don’t like it when i mention your little ‘adventures’?” Frisk was sobbing now, but still, their arm raised, jerkily thrusting forwards in a weak, and rather clunky attempt at a stab. They stumbled to their feet as if pulled forwards by the weight of the movement. _

_ “I didn’t want to.” They sobbed again, watching as his eye turned cyan. They squeezed their eyes shut. “I never wanted to, I just wanted everyone to be happy. Why couldn’t we all be happy?” Sans’ rage grew, and it took literal years of practice for them to not get instantly impaled, and even still, they had to keep dodging until his turn was up.  _

_ “why couldn’t we be happy? Why couldn’t we be happy?!” He demanded, and suddenly their soul was blue. He slammed them through the windows, into the walls, the ground, against the columns. “maybe because you murdered everyone i love!” He shouted, and despite the clear injuries, the kid didn’t heal, only cried more.  _

_ “It wasn’t me.” They whispered, yet they still tried to attack him. He impaled them on the spot, yet their soul fused back together, much to their grievance, it seemed.  _

_ “it wasn’t you? that’s a new excuse. and here i thought i’d heard every one in the book.” Frisk fell to their knees, struggling against something, what he couldn’t tell.  _

_ “I promise, it wasn’t me. I didn’t want to, I wanted to save everyone! But they- she- I-” They shuddered as sobs wracked their body, and Sans wanted so badly to believe them. To believe this kid still held good in them, that they hadn’t just betrayed him over and over again just to see what it was like. “Every time,  _ **_every time,_ ** _ every single time I thought I was done, that I was free, she’d yank it back, force me to re-re- reset.” They were shaking now, yet still, their arm twitched, like they wanted to attack but were restraining themself. _

_ “she? kid, you’re gonna have to give me a name if you want me to even slightly believe you.” Frisk sobbed again. _

_ Why? Why was the kid acting so different this time? So remorseful? So genuinely pained? He was vaguely aware, somewhere in his mind, that this wasn’t entirely real. That their current reality was different than what he was seeing. So why the sudden change? _

_ “Why?” Frisk asked aloud, and he froze. “Why are you listening? Why aren’t you killing me, again and again until we both lose count.” They shook their head. “897.” He stopped dead. “I didn’t actually lose track. That’s how many times you’ve killed me.” They looked him in the eyes, and they looked so, so  _ tortured _ that he felt a shiver crawl down his spine. “So why are you listening now?”  _

_ He didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t that the same line of thought he’d had? Why were things different now? Why did they seem so… real? This time around. It wasn’t right, and he didn’t know why, but somehow he knew… they were telling the truth.  _

_ “I can’t say her name…” He gave them a suspicious glare. “She calls herself the demon who comes when you call her name, I can’t afford to lose more of myself to her.”  _ Chara watched from afar, unsure whether they should be insulted or sobbing. (Hey, they felt everything Frisk felt, it wasn’t like she cared!)  _ Sans blinked. _

_ “and... she’s the one making you reset?” Frisk nodded frantically, a pleading look in their eyes. “well then, i’ll repeat something i’ve said before.” In less time it took than to blink, they were dead, their body falling limp on the floor. “if you’re really my friend, you won’t come back.”  _

_ Frisk took the message to heart, relinquishing control entirely. Chara  _ \- nightmare Chara, that was -  _ was entirely in control now. _

_ “Well well well. You believed them, how sweet! They did just as you asked. They’re gone now.” She said, rising from the floor, blood still dripping from their chest. They didn’t need a soul to live, only a body. Even that they didn’t really need, but in order to attack, it was vital. For now, at least. Frisk whined as they heard her thoughts. _

_ “who are you?” Sans demanded, taking a shaking step backwards. She laughed. _

_ “Didn’t Frisky already tell you? I’m the demon who comes when you call its name. Is that something you can remember, Comedian?” The name struck a chord with him, and suddenly their soul was blue, and they were rising through the air- _

_ Only for him to realize that the soul was still split in two. This really was a demon, using Frisk’s soul, their body. And he’d made them leave. They weren’t coming back, weren’t going to hold her back, to fight to fix it anymore. Because to them, Sans was more important. _

_ The genuine love was going to cause the death of him, in the most literal sense. _

_ “Aww, regretting being so mean? They were only trying to explain!” She laughed, slicing at him mercilessly, and he barely remembered to dodge in time.  _

_ “why? why are you doing this? what do you get out of watching everyone die?” They laughed, the sound high pitched and demonic. _

_ “I get the pleasure of knowing that you will suffer. Of knowing that  _ **Frisk** _ will suffer. Isn’t that enough?” She asked, and this time they managed to slice his shirt. He gritted his teeth, summoning as many blasters as he possibly could. This demon may not be able to die, but it sure as hell could feel the pain.  _

_ “look kid, if you’re still in there, i’m sorry.” They fell to the ground, turning to ash from the sheer force of the blaster. Still, there they were again, soul intact now, but Frisk still gone. “but i’m not going to let you keep doing this. This ends  _ now. _ ” Bones surrounded them, and they went to dodge, easily stepping aside, when suddenly they were slammed back into them, blood coating the walls as they let out a mangled cry. _

_ Hours passed, Chara never managing to get a hit in, but Sans was growing tired. He couldn’t fight forever, and they both knew that. It was only a matter of time until his time was up, and then, well, there was no telling what would happen next. Not this time.  _

_ Finally, they struck him.  _ _ Just like last time around _ _ something told him, but he pushed the thought away. And, again, like the time before they came back, killing him over, and over, and over. But something changed over time, as he continued to fight despite the futility of it. The kid’s body was growing more and more... limp, despite their full energy. It was like their body itself had lost its determination, the only thing keeping them alive the fact that they were possessed.  _

_ The time was coming for the final blow once more, but something stirred in them. Their eyes blinked fully open and as they pulled back for the final attack they hesitated, before dropping the knife, a cruel grin coming to their face. _

_ An orange glow lit up the room, contrasting the blue, red, and golden glows that had lingered. RESET stared back at them both, and Sans felt his heart stop. No, he couldn’t handle another one, not again. He couldn’t take it. They laughed, the sound grating against his nonexistent ears, reaching out with a manic grin, fingers outstretched. They were so close, and he could do nothing to stop it. _

_ “Chara, NO!” Frisk’s voice echoed through the room as they jerked their hand away, distinctly their own and not the high pitched screech that came from the demon within them. Sans froze, where had he heard that name before? _

Chara stared, watching the scene unfold before them. Frisk, becoming quickly aware they were in a dream, was feeling the regret seep in, the dream Chara quickly disappearing. She appeared, then, finally stepping into the dream she had helped cause, the nightmare she had awoken. 

“You-” Sans stared. This was different now. Consciousness was beginning to return to him, but this was Chara, he was sure of it. A separate entity from Frisk, and different from what had controlled them moments before, but still the same person. “You revealed my  _ name?”  _ She demanded, and Frisk cowered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, I thought it was all a dream, I thought it wouldn’t end until I woke up, I-” Reality began to fade around them as the two dreamers realized their predicament. Chara screeched, shattering their reality with a finality, and Frisk bolted awake in bed.

Chara was still halfway through the wall, and they were able to see Sans bolt upright, looking around in terror. He seemed to look them right in the eyes for a moment before gazing right through her like he’d never known she was there. She wondered if, for a moment after waking, he had been able to see her. Still, no use dwelling on it, she supposed. She pulled herself back through the wall, meeting the gaze of a terrified and slightly frustrated Frisk.

“Did you-?” They asked quietly, an almost disappointed tone in their voice. Chara sighed, looking away pointedly.

“I didn’t  _ mean  _ to.” She said, speaking aloud but still only Frisk could hear them. “I was just trying to fuck with him when  _ you  _ had a nightmare, and it pulled him in with me.” They explained. She didn’t know  _ why  _ she was explaining, it’s not like they cared what Frisk thought of her, but still, they offered an explanation, might as well not piss off Frisk at 3 am when no one would be able to stop them from fucking yeeting her out of their mind as they solely watched things she hated.

**No fucking with Sans when I’m not awake.** They said firmly, not daring to speak aloud for fear he’d hear them through the thin walls. Chara raised an eyebrow.  _ Never thought you were one for strong language?  _ Frisk just glared.  _ You know you can’t control me when you’re asleep, right?  _ **Yeah, but I have practice depriving myself of sleep, and with magic items I can stay awake for months until you agree.** _ And why would that be torture for me?  _ **You’re in my mind. Any mental afflictions I have you deal with tenfold.** Chara stared with wide eyes.  _ You wouldn’t. _

Frisk smiled, and if Chara didn’t know better, she would’ve thought they were possessed in that moment, creepy grin glowing slightly in the darkened room.

**You’re talking to the most determined person on Earth. Do you wanna test me?** Chara shuddered and shook their head, glaring as she looked away.  **_Fine._ ** _ But when you’re awake-  _ **When I’m awake I’m there to keep you in check. It’s a case-by-case basis.** Their glare hardened but she said nothing. 

**Now,** She glanced at them, but remained silent.  **I’m going back to sleep. Feel free to rest or whatever you do, but I will not hesitate to do exactly as I said if I find out you were doing something behind my back.** And with that, they laid back down, closing their eyes decisively, as if daring her to argue otherwise.

She sighed, waiting for Frisk to actually drift off - which only took seconds, surprisingly, apparently the nightmare had tired them out - before phasing back through the wall to see what Sans was doing.

He was still staring at the wall, and Chara had to guess he’d heard Frisk first speak up. His eye lights had gone out entirely, a terrified expression on his face. He shuddered for a moment, taking in a shaking breath, before staring down at his hands. His eye flickered for a moment, cyan illuminating the room for a fraction of a second. 

He didn’t know what to think. How much of that was real? The kid had spoken aloud - had talked to  _ someone,  _ the same way they had in the nightmare - had been  _ awake  _ at this time, seeming to wake at the same moment he had - but, then again, they had stopped after two words, as if the words were simply from the dream. The air felt cold around him, colder than it ever did in Snowdin. 

Something was wrong. There was something all too real about this nightmare, but the kid had gone back to sleep, if the gentle creaking of the bed followed by silence were anything to go by. They didn’t want to talk about it, least of all with him.

Realization settled in.  _ Both  _ of them had nightmares, about the same situation, from different sides. He didn’t know how they’d shared a nightmare, but it was obvious it was a reoccurring one for the kid, just as it was for him. But why was it horrifying for the kid? Unless, in that final reset, their morals had completely flipped with the timeline, that they finally felt guilt for everything they’d done. 

And the possession? That demon had been real. Had been watching the nightmare from inside Frisk’s mind. Had only stepped in to scream at Frisk when they revealed something they weren’t meant to. The nightmare had ended there, and he didn’t dare think of what the demon was doing to Frisk if they were real.

He shook his head. It was a stupid nightmare. He couldn’t start thinking it was real, or he’d lose his sanity once and for all. Still, he couldn’t just go back to sleep. He sighed, getting to his feet as he slipped out of bed. He padded quietly across the room, opening the door with barely a sound.

He paused, listening for a moment, before cracking Frisk’s door open. They were sound asleep, clinging to their pillow just a little too tightly. No one else would’ve noticed, would’ve thought they were just resting peacefully, but he knew that expression. The fight to not dream, to not feel as they fell back asleep after a nightmare. He knew it all too well.

Chara stared in mild horror as Sans stood grimly in the doorway, his eyelights still not back. She glanced between the two of them - should she wake Frisk? Should they reload? Would Sans still remember it? Or did he only remember loads caused by death? Or by his hands? He took a step forwards and they hovered above Frisk, panic setting in. 

He sighed, blinking tiredly. They seemed okay, a little disturbed, but their breathing was steady and they were beginning to relax. He took a step back, about to turn out the door, when he felt a…  _ rageful  _ presence, practically glaring at him, and he hesitated. It gave him chills, despite the warmth of his jacket, and he glanced around, trying to locate it.

It grew closer and he felt the need to step back again. He was past the doorway now, just barely in the hallway, and instantly the presence eased back, relief settling in. He looked around, confused, and the door creaked ever so slightly in the wind.  _ What wind?  _

His eyes went wide, which looked a little odd considering his eyelights hadn’t come back yet. There was, apparently, some sort of protective spirit, hovering in Frisk’s room. He glanced at the other bed, still looking unused, but he could almost feel a certain fondness for the object radiating from the presence in front of him. 

This protective essence though… it knew what he was capable of. And anyone who knew that was  _ not  _ someone he could trust.  _ You trust Frisk.  _ His mind whispered, but he shook his head. He tried to, he really did, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t trust that this was it, that they were finally done. Not after he’d seen the surface, only to have it ripped away. 

He sighed to himself, shutting the door. The presence he felt vanished, and for a moment he doubted if it had ever really been there at all. He dragged a hand down his face, heading back to his room. Might as well try to get some rest after what happened, he could deal with it in the morning. 

His door fell shut behind him, and he settled back into bed, trying his best to ward off the thoughts that followed. Eventually he drifted off, gentle snores the only sound left in the quiet house, the crickets having fallen conspicuously silent. 


	10. Going Too Far

The sun rose, and the four residents slowly arose from their beds, getting up separately but all eventually finding their way to the kitchen table. Papyrus had made breakfast for once, and it wasn’t spaghetti, surprisingly. The smell of french toast was enough to get even Sans out of bed early enough to see the kid off for school, though he usually made it to breakfast eventually.

He blinked for a moment as he woke up, beginning to process everything that had happened last night. He couldn’t believe the thoughts he’d had. A spirit? Really? He was just imagining things, the nightmare had fucked with his head. And Frisk had been sleeping peacefully when he’d opened the door, it wasn’t some sort of weird shared nightmare. 

He sighed, trying to clear his head. He couldn’t believe how stupid he felt. How had he thought that  _ that  _ was rational, in any way? He tried to ignore it, putting a smile on his face as he made his way to the kitchen. Food could always cheer him up.

Or at least, that’s what he told himself - and everyone else seemed to believe it, too.

Frisk seemed awkward, almost nervous around him, but he chalked that up to the… interaction, they’d had last night, when they’d tried to climb to the roof. They still looked guilty, and he wished he could comfort the kid, but he still had a bad feeling in his gut.

“So, Frisk, is anything important happening at school today?” Toriel asked, waiting patiently for Papyrus to serve them all breakfast. He seemed particularly proud of the meal today, and it had put them all in a good mood. Frisk thought for a moment.

“Hmm. Well, I don’t think I have any tests, unless there’s a pop quiz. We’re starting a big project in art! I can’t wait to show you guys.” They paused, running through everything in their mind. “Ooh! They’re starting the PTA again soon! It got messed up this year due to… everything, but in the fall it will be running again!” This caught all of their attention, and Papyrus looked on with intrigue as he sat down, serving a few slices to everyone.

“What’s that?” Toriel asked, an interested smile on her face. 

“It’s the Parent Teacher Association. If your kid is in school you can sign up and you’ll have more of a say of everything going on, like what clubs will be run, what fundraisers they’ll do, any important changes happening, and how the school is run! It’s a way for parents to be more involved.” They explained happily, taking a big bite. “This is really good Papyrus!” They praised, not noticing the shared glances between the three monsters.

“I’ve got a question about the ‘PTA’.” Toriel said gently. Frisk looked up, an open expression on their face, gesturing for her to continue. “Would you be alright if one of us joined it?” She asked carefully. Frisk lit up.

“Of course! You’re technically my only legal guardian, but given our situation, anyone really could participate. And it’s not limited to only one parent, though I don’t think they’ve ever had a situation with 4 or more adults looking after a kid.” They said, smiling brightly. 

“wait, any of us? kiddo, you’re telling me we could join this club and get to have a say in what happens at the school? how come you didn’t tell us sooner?” Sans asked, still smiling, but now curious. 

“Well, like I said, they’re not running it this school year, they were in the beginning but after you guys made it to the surface they disbanded it until everything settled down a bit. And it’s not restarting until this fall, I only learned recently that it was coming back at all.” They explained. 

Soon enough they had finished eating, and it was time for Frisk to be on their way. They grabbed their backpack, hurrying to the car before Toriel could even remind them, laughing excitedly. Toriel just smiled, shaking her head fondly as she made her way to the door.

“I’m just dropping Frisk off, like usual. Call me if anything happens, okay?” She said, and they both just smiled, waving to her as she left.

They were in the car for only a minute before Toriel received a call, and she let it play on the bluetooth speaker. Sans’ contact showed up and she felt worry creep in, but she pushed it down, answering like she normally would. 

“Hello?” She asked, and she heard Sans chuckle quietly on the other side. Frisk held back a laugh, they already knew it wasn’t serious, they were eager to see what new joke Sans had for them this time.

“you said to call you if anything happened.” He said, and panic seized Toriel for a moment.

“Yes? What is it?” She asked worriedly. Frisk heard the telltale sound of Sans trying not to laugh and spoil the joke.

“papyrus breathed.” Toriel paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts as she tried to remain focused on the road.

“Huh?” She finally said, confusion setting in.

“papyrus breathed. so did i, actually.” He waited a moment, letting it sink in. “you said  _ anything.”  _ Toriel let out an exasperated laugh.

“Thank you Sans, but I didn’t mean it quite so literally. Next time wait until I’m home to give me a heart attack?” She asked, and Sans just laughed on the other side.

“sure thing tori, see ya soon.”  _ Click,  _ and he was gone, leaving Toriel bewildered and Frisk laughing in the back seat. 

“He’s going to be the death of me some day.” Toriel said, and Frisk rolled their eyes.

“Come on, you know you love him~” They teased, and Toriel sighed.

“Just as I do you and Papyrus, yes. Normally I engage in his antics but he didn’t need to worry me.” They were at the school now, and Frisk beamed.

“I’ll see you after school! Love ya, mom!” They said, hopping out of the car. Toriel smiled, waving at them.

“Have a good day!” She called, and they waved back. She drove away, a fond smile on her face, and Frisk made their way into the building.

“Mom?” One kid asked, a cruel smile on their face. “Really? You think that  _ goat thing  _ is your mommy?” They laughed, their friends joining in.

“Come  _ on,  _ who are your  **real parents** ? Everyone knows they aren’t those  _ monsters.”  _ He spat the word like it was venomous, and the smile quickly fell from Frisk’s face.  _ This is why I hate humanity. Monsters are a thousand times better than they’ll ever be.  _ Chara hissed. Frisk tried their best to ignore her. 

*Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean?* Frisk signed, feeling the discomfort begin to set in. They’d already lost their voice, which wasn’t a great sign.

“Aww, what happened to your voice? You were speaking just fine a minute ago! Did we make you uncomfortable?” One asked condescendingly. Frisk frowned.

*Class is starting in a minute. Shouldn’t you be getting to class?* They asked, and another laughed.

“Look, they can’t even deny it! Their monster mommy probably never taught them how to talk to people!” A girl exclaimed, and Frisk felt their fists clenching.  **Pacifist.** The word echoed in their mind.  **If I spared hundreds of people trying to kill me, I can control myself when dealing with a stupid kid.** _ I mean it’s not even worth it, but whatever helps you sleep at night I guess.  _ **It’s called having morals.** _ Pshh, sure.  _

*I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my family that way. They’re all really nice people and they’ve done nothing to you* They tried their best to remain friendly, forcing a smile back on their face.

“Oh, defending them now? Wow, you must really be a  _ freak  _ to defend  **monsters** .” The boy spat, stepping forwards with an aggressive stance. Luckily, none of the kids knew how to engage a FIGHT, only attempting to start a schoolyard scuffle. Frisk was probably the only human who still knew how to start a Fight, but they’d never done so, only gotten dragged into them so far, even when Chara was in control.  _ I  _ wish  _ I knew how to start one, it would’ve made everything so much easier. I still don’t know how you’re able to do it.  _ **Well I’m not telling** **_you._ ** Chara sighed.  _ Fair enough. _

Frisk was keeping their cool surprisingly well. The kids had brought up at least 2 of their triggers, and they hadn’t even broken down yet. They supposed the years of emotional repression, both before and during the underground, were helpful after all.  _ That’s… not the best way to look at that.  _ **I thought you didn’t care about me?** Frisk fired back. Ohhhhhh. That’s where all that pent up rage was going. It was internal, which meant most of it had ended up directed at Chara. They’d have to deal with that later.  _ Whatever. You can deal with this on your own.  _

Frisk grit their teeth. “The bell’s about to ring.” They forced out, their voice almost a growl despite the too-wide smile on their face. The kids all looked at them, slight fear in their eyes, though they tried to play it off. “I suggest we all go to class. After all, I don’t think  _ your  _ parents would like it very much if they found out about this.” They said pointedly, and the girl scoffed.

“Pshhh, like you can do anything.” Another kid nudged her and she rolled her eyes. “But whatever, we were going anyways.” They turned away decisively, as if daring Frisk to continue the conversation. Frisk just smiled, returning to their cheery self as they made their way to class.

The rest of the day passed without a hitch, and soon enough they were on their way home, happily chatting in the car ride and forcing down the memories of the morning. They could deal with that later, when they weren’t expected to uphold a conversation. Emotional processing was for night, when they wouldn’t be interrupted and could finally think over everything that happened.  _ Really, you need to find a different way to deal with everything.  _ **I’ll start processing my trauma in a healthy way when** **_you_ ** **do.** _ I don’t have trauma!  _ **Proving my point.** Chara sulked in the back of their mind, falling silent.

They dropped their backpack off in the usual spot, taking out their art supplies as they prepared to work on an extra credit assignment. Toriel smiled, leaving them to it. Sans was already sitting on the other end of the couch, watching Tv, while Papyrus was dusting around the living room. They sat down, all of their supplies ready, and cracked their knuckles with an eager smile.

Horrified expressions crossed both brothers' faces, and they both felt like their own bones had been snapped. They stared at Frisk with abject horror, almost out of breath at the visceral feeling the sound induced. Frisk looked to them, a confused expression on their face.

“What?” They asked, and they both gaped.

“what?! what do you mean what?! did you just snap your own bones??!!” Sans demanded, nearly gagging at the thought. Frisk’s eyes widened and they hurried to explain.

“What? No! Sorry, sorry. I cracked my knuckles.” They said, and Papyrus let out an almost strangled noise.

“That’s not better!” He shouted. Frisk winced.

“No, I mean- that’s what we call it. Really, it’s just popping the air bubbles that collect in the joints, which makes a vaguely cracking like noise. It’s not harmful, and it doesn’t hurt.” They explained, and there were twin sighs of relief, though neither of them looked fully put at ease. “I promise, it’s a totally normal thing, humans usually do it when they’re getting ready to do something big or work with their hands a lot. I wouldn’t just break my own bones for no reason.” They assured, and the brothers just gave them odd looks.

“you’re giving me a headache, kid.” Sans said, and Frisk winced apologetically.

“No offense, Frisk, but humans are  _ weird. _ ” Papyrus said loudly.

“Papyrus! That isn’t nice!” Toriel called from the kitchen, making her way to the doorway to see what was happening.

“They practically break their own joints  _ casually _ !” He defended himself, and Frisk shrugged, laughing.

“No, he’s right. That’s probably one of the least weird things humans do.” The three monsters shared horrified glances. If  _ that  _ was normal, they shuddered to think what  **weird** was.

They finished quickly enough, packing up their art supplies as they joined Sans in watching tv, engaging in casual conversation whenever the commercials came on. Sans said it was weird, having so many different channels to choose from, and they didn’t even have any of the streaming services offered. In the Underground, there had only been a few channels, one of which was news and two of which were Mettaton shows. 

They continued chatting and ended up in the kitchen, Toriel and Papyrus having decided to clean the entire living room meaning they didn’t really want to be in there anymore.  _ You saved this morning, right?  _ Chara asked, sounding both demanding and a little concerned.  **Yeah, why?** _ I don’t know, I just feel like something bad is about to happen.  _ **It’s probably fine.** Chara didn’t argue, but now the unease had carried over to Frisk somewhat, though they tried to ignore it.

“kid, can i tell you a real  _ rib _ -tickler?” Sans asked, grinning. Frisk nodded, still giggling slightly from the countless puns he’d already told. “what’s a skeleton’s favorite meal?” He asked, and Frisk shrugged.

“I don’t know, what?” They asked. Sans snorted.

“ _ spare ribs.”  _ Frisk rolled their eyes, letting out a loud laugh. They elbowed him, going to remark on the joke, when Sans let out a groan. They looked over to him, only to find - to their horror - red pouring through his shirt. All joy drained from their face as panic set in. 

“Wait no Sans I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” They rushed out, but he just smiled weakly, sinking to his knees. 

“tell pap” He coughed “i love him.” He said, his voice frail, and tears streamed down Frisk’s face.

“No, I’m sorry, Sans-!” They cried, but his eyes fell shut and he sat back, a final breath echoing in the now silent room. 

Sobs wracked their body and they fell to their knees, mind racing.  _ Reload. You saved, you can reload.  _ Chara urged, but they were already lost in their own mind.

_ Blood. It wasn’t really blood - pure determination, they later learned - but it was red and he was  _ **_bleeding._ ** _ He was bleeding and it was all their fault and they knew they were strong but how had he gone down in one hit? They wanted to search the source code, to dig for hours to find the truth, but they knew it was all an excuse, a pathetic attempt to turn their mind from what they had just done. _

_ Sans. Their friend, their protector… he was  _ **_bleeding_ ** _ because of them, sat on the ground with a stunned expression as blood, or something similar, poured out of his mouth. He coughed and they felt bile rising in their throat, because how could they have done that? He was only doing what was right, avenging his friends, avenging his  _ **_family_ ** _ , but they had killed him, just like they had everyone else. _

_ He hadn’t even attacked them. Not until every last person had died. Not until they had killed everyone he knew, everyone he cared about, everyone he loved. There was only one monster still alive in the underground, and that was only because they hadn’t gotten to him yet.  _

_ They vomited. Sans stared in disgust and confusion, and Chara tried to rip back control, but the stench only caused them to wretch again, horrible sobs and desperate moans being ripped from their throat almost forcefully, like their body was finally catching up to their brain. Sans said his line, walking off, but he couldn’t help but stare as he did so, utterly confused by their reaction.  _

How could they have forgotten? They’d searched endlessly until they’d found the answer, and they’d been stricken for god knows how long, staring at the facts. Sans only had one HP. Not just 1 Atk. and 1 Def., but only 1 HP as well. The slightest injury would kill him.  _ No wonder he’d dodged so much.  _ They had thought. 

And now he was bleeding out, determination instead of blood, but still sickeningly red as he let out his dying breath. Horrible sobs were torn from their throat once more, and they gagged, dry heaving for several moments before it subsided into loud, messy sobs once more. By now the sound had gathered the attention of the two monsters in the living room, who had come to investigate.

“kid, it was just a prank, i’m alright i promise, it was just ketchup-” He hurried to reassure them, but they couldn’t hear him. They were too lost in blood-filled and terrifying memories, too lost in the absolute horror at what they’d done to process anything going on around them. Whines echoed in the kitchen and they clawed at their throat, trying to stop from vomiting as they first had.

“Frisk!” Toriel shouted, but they pressed their hands to their ears, blocking it out.

“My fault my fault my fault  _ I’m sorry I didn’t mean to I’m sorry I can’t I can’t I can’t I’m sorry my fault my fault-”  _ They repeated, like somehow the words would save them, would undo what they had done. They felt a power growing in them, sickening determination building as the reload button hovered next to them, invisible to all but glowing faintly. They were about to press it when finally Sans’ voice reached them.

“Frisk i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done that i’m alright i promise just listen to me-” Their eyes snapped up to meet his, a sharp gasp piercing their ears despite being their own. 

His eyelights were small, barely pinpricks in the darkness, but they were still there-  _ thank god-  _ staring at them with panic and regret. They took in shallow, rasping breaths as they tried to process that he was  _ alive, he was okay, they hadn’t killed him, he was  _ **_fine_ ** . They stared, trying to steady their breathing.

“Frisk!” Toriel called again, and their eyes snapped up to meet hers. “It is alright, my child. No one is hurt, we are all safe. You don’t have to worry, you did nothing wrong. It’s okay.” She soothed, and the tears started pouring down faster. 

They flung themselves at Toriel, clinging tight as they tried to convince themselves that it was real, that they would be okay, that  _ Sans  _ would be okay. Toriel stroked their hair, muttering soft reassurances and Frisk tried to steady their breathing. 

Sans looked at them guiltily when they finally pulled away, scrubbing at their tears as though it were somehow an embarrassment to care so much, as though they had been overreacting to break down at the thought of their friend dying. 

“i’m so sorry, Frisk, that was really insensitive of me. i was just trying to play a prank, but i shouldn’t have done that. i’m sorry.” He said, and Frisk let out a watery laugh.

“No, it’s okay.” They said, their voice wavering. “You didn’t know.” They said, and he frowned.

“just because i didn’t know you’d have that reaction doesn’t mean i should’ve done it. pretending to die isn’t exactly the peak of humor, i shouldn’t have even thought of it.” He said, and Frisk sniffled.

“But… I could’ve… I could’ve  _ actually  _ killed you with that. I forgot- I shouldn’t have-” They whimpered, hiding their face in Toriel’s dress, and both Toriel and Papyrus turned to Sans, curious and slightly angry looks on their faces.

“Brother? What are they talking about?” Papyrus asked hesitantly, trying his best not to be too loud and upset Frisk again. Sans glanced between the two of them panickedly. The kid had accidentally brought up something he’d hoped to never share. He sighed, he supposed there was no getting out of this. The kid hadn’t even reloaded in weeks, he doubted they were bailing him out of this now.

And, he supposed, it was kind of fair. He had obviously brought up a lot of trauma for the kid, and it was cruel and insensitive even if it hadn’t been intentional. He could deal with an uncomfortable situation if it meant the kid felt a little better, knowing he’d be safer if both worrywarts of the house knew.

“i, uh, kinda…” He trailed off, looking away with an almost ashamed look. “i only have 1 HP. one substantial hit could, ya know…” He didn’t want to say it, not with Frisk still there, but they took a shuddering breath anyways.

There were matching horrified looks, and he sighed. He knew this would happen, it was why he didn’t want anyone to find out. He didn’t want to be treated like glass, he’d managed his whole life like this, he didn’t need special protection now. But he’d abused that fact. The kid knew it, and he’d abused the kid’s knowledge and care for him by pulling that stupid stunt. It would take a lot more force behind the hit to kill him, but still, the kid didn’t know exactly what amount of force would off him, and he’d been counting on that to sell the prank.

He was disappointed in himself, really. He never thought he would’ve stooped that low, but it had seemed like just a silly joke at the time. He hadn’t expected the kid to care so much - nor to, apparently, fall into a memory at the sight. He guessed the kid had seen that exact thing one too many times to laugh about it. 

“No- you can’t-” Papyrus stared with shock and horror, unable to process the thought. “How- but-” Sans looked down with shame. “How long have you known?” He finally asked, his voice barely a whisper. Sans couldn’t meet his eyes.

“since before you were born.” His voice was quiet, but still he leaned back, looking almost relaxed despite the clear discomfort in his eyes. Frisk pulled away from Toriel, guilt in their eyes.

*I’m sorry* They signed, grateful for the fact that neither Papyrus nor Toriel were paying attention to their hands *I can-* They were going to offer to reload, to spare him from the discomfort, even though they’d only saved that morning, but he shook his head. 

_ Wow.  _ Chara said, genuine surprise, if a little confused and almost condescending, in her voice.  _ You  _ **_really_ ** _ care about him.  _ Frisk tried their best to keep the confusion off their face.  **Yeah?** _ No, I mean- After all the shit at school you went through today - you’re willing to do it all again, just to save him the discomfort of this conversation?  _ **I mean, it’s not like I haven’t relived worse things several times over and over before, a shitty day is nothing compared to an entire horrible timeline that I had to relive over and over again with no control.** _ …  _ **Yes?** _. . . touché.  _

“it’s okay kid, it’s only fair that they know.” He said quietly, and this gained the attention of Toriel and Papyrus.

“Wait, how did  _ you  _ already know about this, my child?” Toriel asked, puzzled. Papyrus glanced between them and Sans, looking hurt.

“Did you… tell them… before me?” He asked, genuine pain in his voice. Sans’ eyes widened and he hurried to reassure him.

“no, pap, it’s not like that-!” He exclaimed, but then again, he didn’t know how the kid knew that either. He’d never  _ told  _ them, not in any timeline, and even when they’d killed him, they’d had no way to know that his HP really was that low.

“He didn’t tell me.” Frisk whispered, looking down in shame. “I… found out. I don’t think he wanted  _ anyone  _ to know, least of all me.” Their voice was growing quieter by the word. “I’m sorry.” They said, their voice barely audible, tears welling up in their eyes once more. 

_ Oh come on. Don’t be such a baby about it, he brought up trauma willingly! He pretended to die, watched you break down while laughing to himself! Don’t feel bad about making him finally own up to one of his  _ **many** _ secrets!  _ **I have many secrets too, more than him even, probably. He knows at least one of them, and he hasn’t spoken up on it. It’s not my place to reveal his secrets for him.** _ You and your stupid morals.  _

**You had morals, once. I don’t know how much is left, after everything, but-** _ I abandoned them because I realized it was stupid and pointless.  _ **Then…** They didn’t know how far they could push her, didn’t want to find out, but they had to at least  _ try.  _ **Then why haven’t you just ripped away control? Forced me to kill someone or reset by now?** Chara froze, before glaring.

She appeared, now, not physical, obviously, but visible to Frisk. A spirit, a  _ demon,  _ glowering at Frisk and seething with rage. They were shaking, Frisk realized, shaking with fury, and Frisk worried they’d gone too far. If she ripped away control now, took Frisk up on that- they’d never forgive themself. 

“ _You”_ She seethed “ _You_ have the _audacity_ to think I’m not resetting out of **_morality?_** _Out of_ ** _care?!_** _You think I’m not in control because I_ ** _FEEL bad?!_** _”_ They screamed, and it was only thanks to the years of practice that Frisk didn’t flinch back, didn’t show that they were paying attention to someone who wasn’t there. “I should kill you right now, just for that!” Frisk clutched their chest softly, almost unnoticeable, but Sans stared at them. 

And just like that, their soul began to crack, splitting slowly down the center in Chara’s grip. She’d done it many times before, more times than Frisk could count. They even had scars on their neck from their knife, when she’d ripped control away just to force them to feel more physical pain when they died. Though, the physical pain from even a small crack to the soul was immense anyways, it was almost more…  _ real  _ when she used the knife.

They heard it crack, and they took a shuddering breath. 

“Frisk?” Toriel asked, concern growing. First she’d walked in on them sobbing on the ground, almost throwing up from whatever they seemed to be remembering. Then it turned out Sans had faked his death, which was what had caused them pain,  _ then  _ it was revealed that Sans only had 1 HP, and that Frisk  **_knew_ ** that, somehow. Frisk had become guilty, but then their eyes had unfocused, and everyone had remained in silence as they tried to figure out what to say next, only for Frisk to grow more and more distant.

They were clutching at their chest, they all realized. Frisk was holding their sweater right over where their heart would be, right over where their  _ soul  _ would be, actually - humans’ hearts were a little to the left, weren’t they? And that sound, that horrific, cracking sound, quiet yet somehow worse than anything she’d heard before. Their breathing was staggering and they looked like they were about to pass out.

“kid?” Sans asked, worry in his voice. Frisk could barely hear them, and their soul cracked more.

_ “Don’t pay attention to them, you- you- you measly piece of filth! I should’ve killed you and forced you to stay dead, long ago!”  _ They screeched, snatching at their soul. If someone could see their HP, it would be growing pretty close to Sans’ right about then. They coughed in pain. 

“Frisk!” Papyrus yelled, holding them up as they stumbled. Sans did something he normally didn’t do.

He performed a Check on them, and his eyelights flickered out. 

“kid?” He asked seriously. “why-” He watched as their HP lowered, right in front of his eyes. He began to panic. “why is your HP decreasing rapidly?!” He demanded, and Toriel felt like she’d been stabbed. Soon both Toriel and Papyrus had performed Checks on them as well, to their horror. 

It was an odd feeling, like someone was observing their soul, without actually seeing it. Only feeling its presence, observing the energy it gave off. They were thankful, if anyone could  _ actually  _ see their soul, they’d have way more questions to answer.

“It’s fine.” They coughed out, struggling to hold themselves up. 

“ _ It’s fine.”  _ Chara mocked “ _ Only Flowey has brought your health lower than this, but we’re about to find out just how low it can go before you die. _ _ ”  _ They laughed, the demonic undertone back to their voice, and Frisk coughed again. 

Then, they did something unexpected, to everyone there. They laughed. They smiled, and they laughed, until they were kneeling as the laughter consumed them. Chara paused, staring in confusion, and the three monsters stared in worry and panic. Their laughter grew louder, and tears fell from their eyes as their laughter grew hysterical. 

The crack began to disappear.  **Did you forget?** They asked internally, as their laughter continued to grow louder.  **Oh, you silly,** **_silly_ ** **child. You really forgot.** Chara grew angrier, but their laughter almost acted as a barrier, preventing them from doing anything. She watched in horror as Frisk’s soul repaired itself.  **I think you’ll remember this phrase though, at least.**

**_But it refused._** Chara flew backwards like she’d been hit. **Did you forget who you were dealing with?** ** _You can’t hurt me anymore._** Tears were streaming down their face now as they cried, but their HP was rising. Sans could sense it, too. **My determination is too strong. I might not always like it, but I’m pretty sure I’m the most determined person on Earth. Who else,** ** _naturally,_** **has been so determined they were able to reset time? Monsters could never be that determined, they’d melt before even getting close. And humans have forgotten about determination for millennia.**

 ** _You can’t hurt me._** Chara gasped for air, trying frantically to regain control. But, she realized, she didn’t really want to. What had Frisk really said? Why were they so angry at them for suggesting that she felt things? That they could care? Even if they were wrong, why was she so mad?

**And here’s one thing for you to think about.** They thought, as their anger died down.  **If you can’t feel** **_anything,_ ** **then how come you’re able to feel angry?**

And with that, Frisk passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. For Better Or For Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I wanted to ask y'all something  
> It wouldn't be released until later in the story, so as to avoid spoilers, but I have a few pages of more concise explanations/worldbuilding relating to Determination, Magic, Monsters, etc. based on how this world works, at least in this story. Would you be interested in reading it? I'd probably create a separate fic linked in this as a series just to post these (though if you'd prefer it as an extra chapter I'd be willing to do that too).   
> I know this can get pretty confusing, especially since there isn't much direct explanations, but that much exposition kind of gets in the way of the story. Let me know if you're interested!

_ -ey. -y… Hey! -an y- -ar m-? -Go- -amm- -isk!  _ **_FRISK!_ ** __

Frisk blinked, expecting to wake up to the kitchen, or at least  _ somewhere  _ in their house, but instead they found themself in the void. Well, no, actually, not the void. That was what Sans used as an in-between for his shortcuts - he’d showed them, once - and this place wasn’t that. No, this was a different plane of existence, from both reality and the void. It was where the Reset and Quit button usually resided, the area that most battles took place in. The only times battles didn’t occur there, really, was when their environment played a key role in the fight.

Like in the judgement hall.

Chara blinked back at them and they stumbled back, a panicked look on their face. Chara sighed, floating backwards slightly with her hands raised to show they weren’t going to hurt Frisk. They stared suspiciously, but remained still.

_ Hey.  _ She said, and though they spoke aloud, it still echoed in their mind. They supposed, like in space, since there was no atmosphere no sound could actually be heard, but since it was partially in their mind - at least they thought so - they could still hear Chara, internally.  _ You’re not stable enough to be awake right now.  _ Frisk laughed, quiet and gentle, unlike the hysterical laughter that had landed them here. Chara groaned.  _ No, that wasn’t a joke about your mental state. Your body is literally so unstable that everyone around is unsure if you’re Falling Down, which isn’t supposed to be even possible for humans. _ Frisk chuckled lightly.

**I was always known for breaking rules.** Like Chara, they spoke aloud, but the sound only echoed in their minds. 

_ Yeah, even when it could’ve gotten you killed.  _ She spat, looking unamused. Frisk sighed, nodding. They had a point. Chara let out a deep breath.  _ Still, that’s not the point.  _ Frisk’s soul came forwards, beating out of their chest. They clutched their hand around it protectively, fear creeping in.  _ I’m not going to hurt you.  _

**I suggested that you could care, could feel things, something that all beings with a soul are capable of - and don’t yell at me about that ‘I don’t have a soul’ bullshit because technically you have a soul,** **_my_ ** **soul, so it wasn’t too much of a stretch, and you tried to** **_kill_ ** **me.** Frisk took a step back, looking betrayed and defensive. They shook their head.  **No, you tried to** **_torture_ ** **me. You wanted to see how much pain I could endure before I died. For asking a question that you didn’t even have to answer.**

Doubt crept in. They had thought, deep down, they had really, truly believed she could be saved. Even Flowey had been able to, for those brief moments, even before he was fully himself again. But… were they really just naive? Was it foolish to try and see the good in someone who would kill you for suggesting there was any good in them at all?

Chara was staring, a guilty expression on their face. No, no, Frisk refused to believe it was guilt. Chara didn’t feel, after all, she said so herself. They couldn’t. She  _ refused  _ to, even if they might’ve somehow been able to. 

_ I just- I want to show you something. Something I realized, when you healed your soul out of sheer determination.  _ Frisk glared suspiciously, not lowering their hand but not backing away either.  _ I’ve noticed it before, but I thought you were just… always injured, minisculely? Or something? But you - once again - defied the rules with your determination. Your soul should’ve healed fully - hell, I was expecting you to get a temporary HP bonus, but instead…  _

Frisk stared expectantly, their interest piqued, but their trust the lowest it had ever been. Chara had finally made them reach their limit, beyond any amount of betrayal they’d thought they could feel. 

_ Lower your hand.  _ Frisk glared again. Chara sighed frustratedly.  _ I’m not going to do anything, I’m not going to even get near you! Just lower your hand!  _ Frisk continued to glare for a moment.

**If you try to pull something, I swear to any deity that exists I will find a way to permanently murder your spirit.** Chills ran down Chara’s nonexistent spine. Frisk - Frisk themself, not possessed by Chara - was  _ threatening  _ them. Was threatening to  **_kill_ ** them.  **Permanently.** She had already known that they’d fucked up, big time, but this… it was enough to make her feel regret, for the first time in over 400 years. And that, quite frankly, scared her, not that they’d ever admit it. 

_ I won’t. I… promise.  _ She swore, and Frisk glanced at them suspiciously. Promises were a big thing in the underground, much bigger than they were to most humans. And while Chara was human, she’d gained whatever morals and outlooks on life they’d had while alive from monsters. If she broke this promise, well, let’s just say that for the first time ever, Frisk wouldn’t feel remorse about gaining LOVE. 

Frisk lowered their hand, glancing at their soul worriedly. They went to look at Chara again when they did a double take.  **Why- why is it cracked?!** They demanded, anger rising in them quickly.  **If you hurt me-!**

_ I didn’t, I swear!  _ Chara shouted, panicking slightly.  _ It’s… permanent. I told you, I’ve noticed it before, but I just thought you had a very small injury you didn’t notice and never brought it up. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that it was the same exact cracks in the same exact place every time, I didn’t care. But… after you healed yourself… it should’ve disappeared, but it didn’t. _

_ I think… I think it’s like a scar. Every time you died from  _ them  _ killing you, it left the physical scar on your body, even if everything else about your body was set back to whatever it was when the save reloaded or when the world reset. This is a scar, too, in a way. Your soul isn’t physically damaged, it doesn’t limit you in any way. _

_ It’s just… a way to show the emotional scars, I guess? Or the metaphorical scars on your soul became physical? Probably from all the times… I… shattered it…  _ She trailed off, looking away with an almost ashamed expression on their face. Frisk cupped their soul gently in their hands, as if it would protect it from the damage it had already endured. 

**And… you think this will make me forgive you?** Frisk asked incredulously, forcing their soul to recede back into their body. Chara shook her head.

_ I’m not that foolish. But… I think it’s important you know. Especially before someone else finds out.  _ Frisk held a blank look.

**Is that all you brought me here for? To realize how much you’ve actually hurt me?** Chara winced. They shook her head.

_ No, actually. I… I want to make you an offer.  _ Frisk’s eyes widened and they took a sharp step back, clutching their chest protectively.  _ Nothing like that.  _ They lowered their hands but took another step back cautiously. 

**Well?** Chara sighed.

_ You know how to get here, right?  _ They were in, as they’d decided to call it in the beginning, ‘the menu’, since it gave them their options. They’d never pressed Quit, and they never wanted to find out what it did. All Frisk had to do was close their eyes and  _ try  _ and they were there. Frisk nodded cautiously.  _ My offer is this - when you need a break from everything, or need to have a breakdown safely, or anything like that - come here. I will not bother you while you’re here, and I’ll essentially duck out until you return to reality.  _ Frisk didn’t trust that for a second.

**What’s in it for you? What do you want in return? And how can I trust that this isn’t just a ploy to get me to hang around the Reset button for long enough that you can take control?** Chara sighed internally. She knew it would be hard to get Frisk to believe them, especially after everything that had just happened, but she knew that it was her fault. Not that they particularly felt remorseful, they still didn’t feel ‘normal’ emotions, they were a  _ demon  _ after all. But it wasn’t like she had anyone else to blame, they weren’t a complete idiot.

_ As for what I get in return - you’re already doing it. You’re saving daily, which is not only something that’s only really in my interest, but also causes you extreme discomfort since any amount of determination makes you uncomfortable.  _ Frisk glared.  _ I’m not saying I don’t know why, but that’s still true.  _

**Fine, I’ll bite, that does sound like a fair exchange. But you still haven’t told me why I should believe that this isn’t all just to take control again.** Chara grew frustrated, for a moment, clenching her fists as they went to berate Frisk, but she forced herself to let out a deep breath, turning away. Yelling would accomplish nothing, and they were nothing if not a master at playing along.

_ Because I know that, if I do, you will somehow find a way to make me cease to exist, and continue with another full pacifist run until you’re all on the surface again and time works in a linear fashion. I may be a demon, but I still don’t particularly enjoy the idea of no longer existing.  _ Frisk shook their head, too tired to even pretend to care anymore.

“I hate you.” They said, and Chara’s eyes went wide as she whirled around to face Frisk again. They’d somehow managed to make sound work in the menu, which was just like Frisk. But, then again, Chara had been able to, once before. It seemed hatred was the only thing strong enough to break the rules, here, determination did nothing. “I hope you know that. I can’t believe, after all this time, I trusted you. I still  _ cared  _ about you.” They let out a humorless laugh, a self-pitying smile on their face. “Can you believe that? You were right, it was pathetic.” Chara felt any and all relief drain from their body, from her nonexistent soul. They felt cold, empty. Like a piece of paper drifting down the street in the rain.

“I wanted to… to save you. To  **help** you. After everything you’ve done… after everyone you’ve hurt… I truly thought there was still good in you. I thought, if I just tried hard enough, maybe, just maybe, you’d realize you didn’t  _ have  _ to be like this. It’s a choice, you know. It really is.” Chara wanted to say something, but she felt like they’d lost the ability. Was this what it felt like when Frisk couldn’t speak? She shuddered at the thought.

“You’re just like my parents.”  _ That  _ struck a nerve. It was the closest thing to utter devastation Chara had felt since they’d died. “I mean it. You’re just like them. You’re cruel and uncaring, you refuse to change, but if you just  _ tried,  _ just put in a molecule of effort, you could be so much better. You  _ could  _ be a good person, I still stand firm in that.” Chara met their eyes, shock coursing through them. They thought, even after all of this, that she could be good?

“But you won’t ever be.” Chara flinched back despite herself. “You could, but you won’t. You refuse to. I learned years ago that my parents were never going to change. I don’t know why I didn’t give up on you sooner.” They shook their head, looking down with a disappointed smile, though it looked more like a grimace. “Maybe it was the challenge. Maybe I thought that you refusing was all just a ruse. Or maybe it’s because I’m stuck with you. I can’t just run away like I did with them. You’re in my head. But it would’ve saved me so much pain if I’d just taken Sans advice. I should’ve given up on you long ago. I can’t ‘go home’. I can’t go back to having my soul, my mind, as my own.”

“But if you try this again, I will. I’ll find a way. And for once, I know full well that you know I mean it.” 

Chara sat still, trying to take it all in. She’d known that she’d messed up. That they’d pushed Frisk beyond their limit. But… they hadn’t expected this. She’d thought- no, they’d  _ expected  _ Frisk to be unrelenting. To believe in her no matter what. No matter what they did, she thought that Frisk would always care about them, to some degree.

Learning that they were still angry at her - that alone had been enough to make them rethink some things, at dinner that night. But they’d listened when she’d told them her past - had  _ embraced  _ them after she told them everything they’d done. But now - hearing that they  _ hated  _ her - knowing that they’d pushed Frisk,  **_Frisk_ ** , to the point where they couldn’t even begin to hope she’d change?

They decided to do something she didn’t think they’d ever done, at least, not since before she fell. 

_ I’m sorry.  _ She apologized. Frisk’s eyes snapped up to meet theirs, distrust clear in their eyes.  _ I know that doesn’t  _ **_nearly_ ** _ make up for everything I’ve done. But I mean it. I’m sorry.  _ Frisk laughed bitterly, an almost defeated sound.

**I wish I could believe you.**

The world began to fade around them.

“They’re waking up!” They heard, and they could vaguely tell it came from above them. Chara had receded further back into their mind, and Frisk was grateful. They didn’t have the energy to deal with the complicated emotions that came with Chara, not when they  _ already _ had to pretend nothing was wrong in front of their family. 

“Frisk! Are you okay? What happened?” Papyrus asked as soon as they were visibly awake. Toriel shushed him, trying to get him to calm down, but Frisk didn’t mind. They thought it was sweet that he cared about them so much. They tried to sit up but were - gently, mind you - held down, with a worried look from Toriel and an almost panicked glance from Papyrus. 

“easy there kid, you took a lot of damage.” Sans said, holding a hand out worriedly. Frisk sighed. 

“My HP is at full, isn’t it?” They asked, and they shared confused glances. They felt the undeniable presence of 3 different people doing Checks at once, and they shared even more confused looks. 

“My child, what happened?” Toriel asked, and Frisk gave them a grin, putting on their ‘battered but okay’ expression. Usually it was genuine, but they’d done it enough times they knew how to fake it. 

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. And besides, I’m okay now, just got a little lightheaded is all.” They said, smiling. Toriel frowned.

“It is not ‘nothing’. Frisk... we heard your soul cracking. It almost shattered. And it was spontaneous, nothing caused it - unless-” She looked up in panic “Can trauma cause human souls to shatter?!” She asked, and Frisk laughed lightly.

“I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve heard of people dying of heartbreak, but that’s usually their  _ body _ shutting down because of extreme depression, it’s more of a scientific thing than anything to do with the souls. Humans haven’t been aware of their physical souls in centuries, at the least, but if it was prevalent enough from deaths then they wouldn’t have forgotten it, so I don’t think so.” They said. This only served to cause more worry, because  _ humans could die of heartbreak?  _ But they set it aside for the time being, at least Frisk’s mental state could not - as far as they were concerned - kill them, for now. 

“Frisk...” Papyrus said, a pained look in his eyes. “You lost almost all of your HP, then passed out. We thought...” He trailed off, looking away. None of them wanted to say it. Frisk sighed.

“You thought I was Falling Down?” There were surprised looks, none of them knew how Frisk had known that. “I don’t think humans  _ can  _ Fall Down, not like that at least. But I’m fine, really. I’m not even tired.” They said, sitting up with a look that practically dared any of them to try and force them to stay lying down. 

“it is not fine. humans can’t fall down, you’re right, but no soul, human or monster or otherwise, should be able to just start splitting in two out of nowhere. and Frisk, i’ve known you for a long time, and you have  _ never  _ just passed out, not even when you were in severe pain. you didn’t even sleep the entire time you were in the underground. something is clearly wrong.” He said. This made Toriel and Papyrus even more concerned, especially Toriel. Frisk had slept each night that they stayed with her - or had at least appeared to, but they had not slept for three weeks straight after leaving?

“Frisk? Is that true?” Toriel asked worriedly. Frisk just nodded resignedly. “But- how?! I’ve done my research on human needs, to make sure I could care for my children adequately, and if you go a  _ week  _ without sleep you’ll start losing your sanity! How did you manage  _ three?” _ She demanded. 

Sans stared at the kid. Had everything they’d done - every horrible timeline, every heartless murder, every lapse in sanity - had it all been from  _ sleep deprivation?  _ Of all the things- he had spent  _ years  _ trying to figure out what was going on with the kid, why they seemed almost split in two, why they had no rationality sometimes and acted completely normal others, and it could’ve all been from not getting enough  _ sleep?!  _

“Monster food is different from human food. It has magic in it, even if only trace amounts. Humans haven’t had magic in hundreds of years, so this magic is enough to replace basic needs. If I have one piece of monster food a day, not only do I not need to sleep, but I also don’t need to eat, drink, or even use the restroom the majority of the time.” They said truthfully. 

Sans wasn’t sure whether he was disappointed, relieved, or just even more confused. 

“I mean I’m also weirdly able to go days without sleep without any ill effect even without monster food so I don’t know if it’s just something weird with me actually.” They admitted. Toriel sighed.

“We can discuss that more later. You’re still avoiding the fact that apparently you were able to go 3 weeks without sleep just fine even though by all means you should’ve passed out - you even, apparently, endured severe physical pain without passing out as well - and now, for the first time ever, it happens, while your soul was splitting in half. That isn’t ‘nothing’ or ‘fine’. You need to tell us what’s going on.” Frisk shook their head. 

“I can’t.” They said, meeting her eyes. “And I won’t.” Toriel looked at them with shock. Sans could tell the kid was planning on doing something,  _ anything  _ to get out of this situation. He could feel their determination growing, a telltale sign they were about to reload. 

“kid, don’t-” He said, but Frisk shook their head. Their eyes unfocused and for a moment it looked like they were about to pass out again, but half a second later they blinked like nothing had happened. Only, they had a completely different expression on their face, like they’d reached a calm resolution and were once again ready to face this conversation. What-?

“I’m sorry.” They said, and Sans felt the metaphorical hairs raise on the back of his neck. “This is just something I’m not ready to talk about, and as hard as it is, I’m going to have to ask you guys to respect that. I want to tell you all, but I can’t. And it’s only going to cause us all pain if you try to force me.” They said, and they shared glances. “But let me just say: I swear on my life that  _ that  _ won’t happen again.” This gained the concerned looks of all three of them.

“Swear on your life? What is that supposed to mean?” Papyrus asked frantically. Frisk paused.

“Well, typically, it means ‘if I don’t hold up to my promise you’re allowed to kill me’ but in this case I guess I would mean it as in ‘if it happens again I’d let myself die because I broke my promise’?” They said, growing confused. They had said it to show their sincerity but now they were only making them more concerned. “Though I doubt you guys would like that very much. So I guess I mean-” They grew serious “Well, if it happens again,  _ someone  _ is going to die.” They said, their voice low. It reminded Sans of the few times he dropped his casual air, of the times he’d threatened Frisk in the judgement hall. He knew that tone, and he shuddered, wondering who it was Frisk was threatening - since it was clear that they had someone in mind. 

They smiled brightly, all signs of murderous intent gone. “But you guys know me, that’s how serious I am that it won’t happen again, because I would  _ never  _ do that.” They said pointedly. Sans gave them a suspicious look but didn’t say anything. Sure. They’d  _ never  _ kill anyone. Except the countless times they’d murdered literally everyone in the underground. 

But, strangely enough, he believed them. This was clearly something they were not expecting, and that they - for whatever reason - thought they had some control over. He didn’t understand it, he wanted to pry and ask every question he could think of to figure out what was going on. But, at the same time-

He sighed. He knew he had his fair share of secrets. And while his were kept for the safety and wellbeing of everyone around him, as well his own sanity, and Frisks’ seemed to be about hiding anything bad or ‘not good’ they’d done, he believed the kid when they said that they  _ wanted  _ to tell everyone, but they weren’t ready.

And hey, that was a hell of a lot more honest than he was. He didn’t even let on that he  _ had  _ secrets except in a few rare moments, and even those he brushed off as jokes. Meanwhile the kid, instead of trying to worm their way out of it, was being open and honest and setting clear boundaries for themself. He had to respect that, it showed the kid really was mature for their age.

“alright.” He said, and Frisk looked up suddenly, meeting his eyes with almost disbelieving hope. “this isn’t over, don’t think you’re getting off the hook entirely. but i get not being ready for a serious conversation, especially one as important as this. i’ll drop it, for now.” He said, looking to Toriel and Papyrus expectantly.

“I suppose I must agree with my brother on this one, though I do wish we could talk about it more thoroughly sometime.” Papyrus said, seeming a little let down and more than a little concerned, but he gave a smile, trying not to make Frisk feel down because of his worry. Toriel sighed.

“Okay. If you are truly not ready for this, I will not force you, my child. But I will hold you to the fact that we will talk about it, some day.” She stood up, kissing Frisk on the forehead. “For now, get some rest. You can watch a movie if you want, I’ll be making dinner if you need me.” With that she left the room, a fond yet worried smile on her face. Papyrus followed her, presumably to help cook. Sans stood as well from where he’d been kneeling on the floor, heading for the hall.

“Wait, Sans?” Frisk asked, and he paused, turning to face them. “How long was I out for?” They asked, fiddling with the blanket that had been draped over them. Sans sighed.

“four hours, i think?” He guessed, and Frisk sighed, whether in relief or disappointment he was unsure. 

“Thank you.” They said, and he gave them an odd glance, before disappearing into the hall, heading to his room. 

Frisk grabbed the remote, putting on Lilo And Stitch. Might as well watch their favorite movie, it would probably help convince Toriel that they were actually allowing themself comfort and were taking it easy. Plus, they did actually like the movie, so the genuine serotonin was nice too. One thought was nagging at them, throughout the movie though, and finally, despite their anger, they ended their silence.

**Did you have any siblings, before you fell?** Frisk asked, and they felt Chara’s surprise as she reawoke, stepping back to the front of Frisk’s mind. 

_ Human? I think so. My mother was pregnant before I fell, I don’t know if the baby made it though. They probably died, killing my mother too in childbirth. Good riddance.  _ Frisk raised an eyebrow, a tired expression on their face, but said nothing in response. For now, they were going to rest, god knows they needed it.


	12. A New Friend

They did end up going to school the next day. Toriel had called in to tell their teachers that they had been unwell the day before, and to let her know if they were showing any signs of sickness throughout the day, but Frisk made it through the day fairly well. The other kids didn’t even bother them that much, probably scared off from their mild threat the day before.

That didn’t last long however.

It was only a week later, but the kids seemed to have gotten over their fear pretty fast. Frisk had been mentally preparing themself all week for when they started harassing them again, so it wasn’t like it was unexpected, but that didn’t make it any more pleasant. 

Today, it seemed, was when their confidence collectively returned. Or maybe it was just the leader of the group had finally decided to pressure everyone else to get over it. Either way, things were coming to a head, and quickly.

“Hey  _ Frisky.”  _ The hairs rose on Frisk’s arms, but they said nothing, continuing to walk to class like they hadn’t heard her. “ _ Hey,  _ I’m talking to you.” She said, stepping in front of Frisk. They sighed, facing her.

“What do you want?” They asked, and she smiled curiously, a malicious gleam in her eyes.  _ I could-  _ **No.**

“Ohhh, you’re talking today? I thought you only talked when you were comfortable.” She gasped in fake surprise. “Do you have a crush on me?” She laughed mockingly, smirking. 

“Grossss, I think you’re gonna get monster cooties or something if that thing  _ likes  _ you.” A boy said, laughing with her. Frisk rolled their eyes.

“I  _ wish  _ my presence would give you a disease.” They said, and another boy stepped forwards, an angry look on his face.

“I thought you were the  _ pacifist  _ though? That’s what the news always calls you. Or do you just love monsters more than humans?” He spat, and Frisk sighed again.

“I bet their  _ real  _ parents were monster fuckers and furries, and they just took it to the extreme.” Frisk grit their teeth but said nothing.

“What even are you though? I don’t think you’re actually human _.  _ No human could be  _ that  _ fucked up.” Frisk raised an eyebrow.

“Well, thank you for believing I’ve somehow managed to be the peak of fucked up despite only being 11 while also being a successful and kind ambassador to a whole new race, but have you even  _ looked  _ at a history book? I mean maybe that’s why you hate me, you’re failing your classes meanwhile I have a successful career and a loving family.” They said, smiling with faux innocence. She gasped, anger growing.

“Ugh, don’t pay attention to her. That  _ thing  _ doesn’t deserve to even be at our school, and our standards are  **really** low. It should probably learn to hold its tongue.”  _ Oh, great, they’re misgendering you now. Are you still gonna tell me about how there’s hope for humanity?  _ **Not all humanity, as you have proven to me. Though, I doubt they’ll ever be on your level.** Chara receded back into Frisk’s mind. They’d almost forgotten how far they’d pushed Frisk. 

Still, Frisk put on their biggest smile, their whole demeanor changing. Just because they were dealing with a lot didn’t mean that the kids deserved their snark. They’d been unrelenting with mercy and kindness to those who had tried - and succeeded - to kill them hundreds of times, even before they really started messing with time. They could do the same to some rude, closed minded kids.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s rude to wish harm upon others, I hope you can forgive me. I’m in Chorus if you want to hang out sometime? I’m always open to making more friends!” They said cheerfully, practically bouncing with energy. The kids were taken aback, not only by their positive attitude, but in their quick change in behaviour. It was like they’d suddenly remembered the part they had to play. It was very unnerving.

“And why would I want to hang out with  _ you?”  _ She asked, and Frisk thought for a moment. 

This was the leader of the group - Melanie, her name was. Frisk hesitated for a moment, before performing a Check.  _ *MELANIE - Atk. 8 Def. 7 *Your classmate *Hates you because you are ‘different’  _ She took a step back, looking Frisk up and down with a mix of fear and disgust. Still, there was more information, since they weren’t in a battle.  _ *Lv. 1 *HP 20/20 *No injuries currently  _

“Don’t listen to that  _ freak.  _ It’s just scared of you, it thinks being nice will make them  _ normal.”  _ Another girl said, glaring. Frisk tilted their head slightly, as if confused by the words.

“Oh? Oh, no, I’m sorry for the misunderstanding! I don’t care about being normal, it’s not that appealing. The rules are there for a reason, but just being ‘normal’ for the sake of not being different? What’s the point in that?” There were a few confused looks, but there were no new glares, which was a good sign. “And I understand if you don’t want to be friends, it’s often hard getting to know or liking someone new. I just thought I’d offer, you know? No point in pushing you away when you haven’t done anything to me.” 

_ Haven’t done anything? Did you forget everything they just said? Everything they’ve done?  _ **Do you really want to start this conversation?** _ Look, just because I crossed a line doesn’t mean that they’re any more deserving of friendship!  _ **I see you’ve stopped your ‘no mercy’ line of thinking? Or are you going to hurt me for suggesting that too?** _ Ugh, just listen!  _ **No.**

“You’re weird. Go back to where you belong.” One kid spat, his teeth practically bared. Frisk just continued to smile, unfazed. They’d dealt with worse, this was nothing, really.  _ Doesn’t mean it’s right.  _ Frisk sighed internally.  **And yet you still don’t care about me. I’m trying really hard not to yell at you right now, because I still believe in mercy, even for those who are undeserving of it. So please, for the sake of my morals if nothing else, be quiet.**

Surprisingly enough, Chara did fall silent, slinking back to the depths of Frisk’s mind. Whether it was out of fear, anger, or actual respect for Frisk, they had no clue, but they didn’t care enough to try and find out. 

Frisk’s eyes widened - as did their smile - and they gasped, pointing at the boy. He glared, glancing around almost nervously, clearly not liking being pointed at, but Frisk didn’t care.

“ _ That’s  _ who you remind me of! Thank you, you made me remember that I should check in on Flowey sometime soon.” They said, smiling even brighter than before. This earned a few snorts.

“Flowey? Really?” Frisk rolled their eyes, grinning.

“He chose the name for himself, and I’ve heard weirder names. Plus, who am I to judge?” They asked pleasantly, engaging with them in an almost casual manner, like they were friends already. Melanie glared.

“Well, unfortunately, it turns out I’m also in chorus, and I’m not leaving just because of some weirdo like you. See you then.” She said tauntingly, walking away and taking her group with her.

“See you!” Frisk said excitedly, waving. They sighed in relief once their backs were turned, but the smile didn’t leave their face. Surprisingly enough, they actually felt better now. It was tiring, sure, but having even a small impact on the group was progress, and progress was something to be celebrated. 

The school day passed before they knew it, and soon enough they were making their way to chorus. Toriel already knew to pick them up late on Thursdays, so it wasn’t a problem, and sure enough Melanie was sitting in her spot when they got there. 

“Frisk! It’s wonderful to see you! Have you been practicing the lessons I taught you?” The teacher, Mrs. Alberto asked. Frisk nodded, beaming up at her. 

“I have! Thank you for the tips, they’ve really helped.” They said, almost bouncing with excitement. She’d been very kind when she learned that Frisk was selectively mute, and had worked with them until they felt comfortable and safe in the music room. She’d been impressed with Frisk’s voice, when they’d finally felt safe enough to sing in front of her, and Frisk had said that they weren’t really allowed to sing when they were little, and they were grateful for her giving them a chance.

It was a wonderful feeling, being free to finally sing when they wanted. It was awfully freeing too. They’d always loved music, but their parents hadn’t. Let’s just say that some of their original scars gave them good reason to be nervous whenever they sang. 

Frisk made their way to their seat. They could honestly be either a lower Soprano or a higher Alto, but they preferred alto, so they stuck to the left side of the room. Melanie sat on the far right, where the higher Sopranos sat, so they supposed they wouldn’t be interacting with her much until after chorus, which was actually nice, they never wanted to lose their cool or cheery air in front of Mrs. Alberto, they looked up to her too much.

“Alright, let’s start our warmups…” And with that, they began.

An hour passed and the final bell rang, indicating the end of most clubs - though a few ran a little longer or ended early. Mrs. Alberto said her cheery goodbyes to everyone as they filed out the doors, and Frisk waved happily on their way out. All in all, it hadn’t been a horrible day.

“Why?” They were shoved against a wall, not held in place but cornered by someone, and they were away from everyone else too. “Why?” Melanie demanded. “Why are you trying to be friends with me? What are you trying to gain?” Frisk winced, despite not entirely meaning to, Melanie had banged their head a little too hard on the wall behind them.  _ HP: 19/20 _ 1 HP wasn’t much, but considering it was technically 5% of all their HP, it wasn’t something to take too lightly, either.

*What do you mean?* Frisk signed, trying to regain their voice. They were startled, that was all. And hurt, but they’d, once again, dealt with  **_much_ ** worse.

“I don’t know sign.” She hissed. Frisk sighed.

“What do you mean?” They said, their voice rough despite how smooth it had been moments before. Losing health would do that, especially when they’d also lost their voice for a moment. She snarled.

“I  _ mean,  _ what are you trying to get out of me by pretending you want to be friends? What do you think you can gain?” Frisk put on their innocent look, genuinely confused, though only a little.

“Why would I want to  _ pretend  _ to be friends? That just sounds tedious and ingenuine.” Her glare hardened. “I know it may be hard to understand, I can be confusing at times.” They laughed “I’ve made friends with pretty much everyone who’s tried to kill me.” They said, and Melanie stepped back, genuine fear in her eyes. “But I just think there’s good in everyone. I want to be there to help them grow and change, and the people they become... that they are now, but are too scared to show… those are people worth being friends with. They all are. I just want to give you a chance, too.” Frisk said, and Melanie was staring with wide eyes.

“Tried to kill you?” She asked shakily. “What have you done? Why would they want you dead?” Frisk sighed, a sad smile on their face.

“Monsters never forgot the war, like humans did. One more human soul, and they could be free. You can’t take a human's soul without killing them. Royal guards don’t take too kindly to seeing someone from the race who tried to murder and banish their entire race just running around like nothing happened. I’m sure you can put the pieces together.” They said, and Melanie relaxed slightly, though she still looked uneasy.

“Oh.” She looked up, glare returning. “Still, don’t think we’re gonna be friends right off the bat. Just because you ‘care about me’ doesn’t mean we’re friends.” She said, trying to seem angry but there wasn’t quite enough malice in the words for Frisk to believe it. They smiled.

“Of course. I’d never force someone to be friends with me, I just like giving them a chance.” And with that they disappeared, slipping away silently before she could even blink.

They couldn’t wait to tell Toriel about the new friend they’d made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frisk's kindness may seem a little ingenuine in this one, but they're still dealing with a lot. Not everyone can bounce back like they do, and sometimes it takes them a little longer, but Frisk does care, even if it might not seem like it sometimes


	13. Uncharted Territory

“How was your day at school, my child?” Toriel asked as Frisk hopped in the car. She glanced back before driving away - Frisk still couldn’t sit in the front seat, it was a size thing more than anything else. They put on their brightest grin.

“It was great! My art teacher told me he was really proud of the work I’d done, and chorus was really fun! I even think I made a new friend!” They said, starting to feel genuinely happy now that they were talking with her. The day hadn’t been the best, but it hadn’t been the worst, either, and they found sharing everything in a positive light made it feel so much better. Toriel grinned back at them.

“That’s wonderful. And I’m surprised the whole school isn’t friends with you already.” She said with a light laugh. Frisk laughed with her, ignoring the slight sting the words caused. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know that half the school either hated them or wanted them dead.

“Hey, mom?” They asked, and Toriel glanced back at them. “Could you drop me off at Mettaton’s? I haven’t talked with him in a while, I want to check in.” They said, knowing Toriel had some important paperwork to do. She was in search of a new job, not that they needed it per se, but having nothing to do all day was starting to make her antsy. She grinned.

“Of course.” Within minutes they were there, and Frisk jumped out of the car dramatically, backpack slung over one shoulder. “Have fun!” Toriel called, and she drove away. 

Frisk bounced up the metallic walkway, knocking on the door. As much as they did want to check in on Mettaton, there was also something important they wanted to do, and while they might not have the confidence to do it today, they knew Mettaton would help them feel secure in their choice.

“Come in darling!” He called, and Frisk beamed, kicking open the door. It was moments like these that their strength came in handy. Of course, Mettaton’s door was designed to handle much more force, so it didn’t break, and Frisk posed dramatically as the lights panned over to them. There were no cameras on, but Mettaton loved the drama.

“Did ya miss me?” They asked, a slightly devious smile on their face. Mettaton grinned at them, eyes shining with pride.

“Of course, darling. Come in, come in! What has brought you to my glamorous abode today?” He asked, and Frisk twirled, dropping their backpack as they did so. He gave a clap of delight at their antics. “I see I’ve trained you well.” Frisk winked.

“Or maybe I was just born this fabulous.” They said, playing into it. Coming to Mettaton’s was always a huge confidence boost, and while they didn’t  _ really  _ think quite that highly of themself, they were always happy to play the part. Mettaton made them feel… worth it. Like they really deserved the praise they got, even when they usually felt it was all overblown.

“Indeed you were, just like I was. Now, are you just here to admire me or did you have a goal in mind?” He asked with a smirk. Frisk laughed.

“As dazzling as you are, I did have a reason.” They paused for a moment, hesitating, before throwing themself at Mettaton. He stumbled back, surprised, but relaxed into the embrace after a moment. Frisk pulled away with a more gentle smile. “Though I did just want to check in as well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” Mettaton stared, genuine shock on his face. It seemed Frisk had for once said something he hadn’t prepared for, taking him off-guard. He smiled after a moment, the look softer than Frisk had ever seen.

“Thank you.” His confidence returned quickly though “However, no need to worry about me, I am as amazing as ever!” He said, posing dramatically. Frisk grinned.

“No doubt about that. I was wondering though…” He listened intently “I’ve been trying to be more confident in my body.” Frisk admitted, and his eyes widened in surprise. Was Frisk…  _ not  _ confident in how they looked? He must change that at once! “I was wondering if you had any Mettaton Brand crop tops?” They asked, blushing slightly. 

_ Wow. That took… a lot of guts.  _ **Psh, like it took any more bravery than fighting everyone in the underground hundreds of times.** _ Well, then you knew you wouldn’t die permanently, and if you revealed anything you could just reload. This isn’t the same.  _ **Whatever.** Chara sighed, disappearing again. Mettaton was still staring, shocked at the revelation, but he snapped himself out of it with a grin.

“But of course we do darling, I’ll be right back!” He said, disappearing down a hallway before Frisk could say another word. They sighed, smiling fondly as they waited for his return. “Here you go!” He said only moments later, reappearing with not only a glittering crop top, but some short shorts as well. Frisk giggled quietly, they were sure the outfit would look ridiculous on them, but they took the garments anyways, and he pointed them to a dressing room.

Thanks to the years of practice, they were in and out in less than 30 seconds, a nervous smile on their face as they returned to the main room. The top barely went past their chest, glittering brightly with a swirl of pink, black, and silver, though - to Frisk’s immense gratitude - the pink was kept to a minimum. They didn’t need the gender dysphoria on top of the low self-confidence. The shorts would not have passed the ‘past your fingertips’ test at school, but that didn’t matter - they doubted they’d  _ ever  _ be confident enough to wear it to school.

But, the real reason they were trying to be more confident in their body wasn’t necessarily the way it looked - or at least, not the normal qualms middle schoolers had about their body. No, it was the hundreds of scars littered all across their body, though most prevalent on their stomach and back. Though, now all of the scars on their legs, arms, and neck were much more visible as well.

Mettaton stared with wide eyes, shock coursing through him. How had-  _ who  _ had dared to hurt them? He knew he’d landed a few hits in his battle, but there were only a few electric marks on them, scattered on their neck. Well, actually, quite a few of them - in fact, enough of them that he was 100% certain he hadn’t hit the kid that many times in their fight - but still, who had hurt them this many times? 

He shook his head, quickly clearing his expression. No wonder the kid had been so nervous - had come to  _ him  _ for help, alone. He was flattered that they trusted him this much, especially since they knew of his tendency to act a little arrogant to the point of diminishing others, though that was usually only when he was playing it up for his shows. He gave a genuine smile, gentle but as flashy as always.

“Knock ‘em dead darling.” He said, and Frisk grinned, relief clear in their eyes. 

“Thank you.” They said, and with that they said their goodbyes, Frisk heading out to walk home. Mettaton tried to insist on having them escorted by his limo - he’d grown quite popular on human internet, and he was even close to having his own television show - but Frisk refused, and well, he couldn’t deny the kid something as simple as wanting to walk. 

They waited until they were just out of sight of Mettaton’s house before going into their inventory, quickly switching back to their old clothes. They’d actually put the clothes on the way they normally would in the dressing room, but they weren’t exactly going to undress in the middle of the street, and they weren’t ready yet to reveal their scars to everyone. Soon, but not yet.

They were also thankful that he hadn’t brought up the obvious scars, it wasn’t something they wanted to talk about, not yet at least. He had been so kind, too, reassuring them in just the way they needed. And he’d let them have the clothes free of charge, though he wasn’t exactly the type to try and make money off of friends. 

They were home in no time, still wearing their backpack, though they’d almost forgotten it at Mettaton’s place. Papyrus was making spaghetti, Toriel was in the office still doing her paperwork, and Sans was in his room, probably taking a nap.  _ Frisk.  _ They ignored her. Chara sighed in annoyance.  _ You didn’t save this morning.  _ Frisk refrained from letting out an annoyed huff, keeping their smile on their face as they went to their room to start their homework - and they had to put away the new outfit anyways.

“Frisk.” They jumped when she suddenly appeared, backing away with a suspicious look. They rolled her eyes. 

**What do you want?** They asked cautiously, afraid to speak out loud. She looked away, not meeting their eyes.

“Look. I’m a demon. I don’t really  _ care  _ about things. You know that.” They nodded slowly, growing more suspicious. “I still don’t feel things. I don’t know what capacity I have to feel, but I still  _ don’t.  _ But… even a demon can realize when they’ve crossed a line.” Their eyes narrowed but they said nothing. She sighed. “I know you didn’t believe me, you probably still don’t, but… I  _ am  _ sorry.” Her face twitched, and it was obvious it was paining them to admit this. “I wanted to offer a more… genuine, apology.” They were doing her best to keep the malice out of their voice. Frisk appreciated the effort.

“So,” She took a deep breath, closing their eyes for a moment as she struggled to keep her calm “Here.” She looked away, holding out their hand to Frisk. In it they held a golden heart shaped locket, the only physical thing about her. “Just like with the knife, I can give you physical objects I had in my inventory. This was the only other thing, actually, and it” They grit her teeth “Meant a lot to me, when I was alive. Back when I cared.” Frisk paused, looking at the object, glimmering in her outstretched hand. “This is a token to show that I’m actually sorry.” 

**Why?** Frisk asked, and Chara turned to face them.  **Why do you care?** They saw the glare harden on her face and glared right back, silencing them.  **And don’t say you don’t, I’m not talking about ‘emotions’ or ‘caring about me’. Why do you care whether or not I believe your apology?** They stared, clearly not expecting the question. She looked away, glare returning, yet they refused to aim it at Frisk.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.” She said, and Frisk felt the hint of a smile tugging at their lips. 

Chara definitely had a  _ lot  _ of work to do if they were ever going to be even worthy of forgiveness. But… she seemed willing to try, even if they denied it. This wasn’t nearly enough to make Frisk even no longer angry at them for what she did, but it  _ was  _ enough for them to realize that she genuinely did mean their apology. Even if Chara had forgot that Frisk knew, they knew exactly why this locket was important to her. That they were willing to give this away, as an  _ apology,  _ something Chara had never done in the 3 and a half years of resets, nor, apparently, in any of her time undead, it said a lot more than Chara realized.

“Apology accepted.” Frisk said quietly, taking the locket from her hands. Chara’s eyes went wide as they whirled around to face Frisk.  **Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m still pissed. But I’m not going to pretend I think you’re lying when you say you’re sorry.** Chara visibly relaxed, a defensive look still on her face, but relief clear in their posture. She vanished without another word.

Frisk slowly pulled the locket over their head, letting it fall against their neck. It was cold, it hadn’t been touched in centuries - in this timeline, at least. They let it rest for a moment, just over their heart, before tucking it under their shirt. Toriel, at the very least, would probably recognize it. No need to draw concern now, after everything. 

They sighed, pulling their desk chair out. Might as well start working on their homework.

**Author's Note:**

> As a quick note: I don't know everything. If I write something accidentally offensive, please let me know, I am not trying to be harmful in any way, and I sincerely apologize if I am uninformed


End file.
